Things That Suck
If you are ever in doubt of something sucking, check this list.
If you think you have a few to add to this list, join and share them.
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mailboxes that are too small

running out of tissues

shitting liquid black shit

dropping a book you lent from someone in the bathtub

running out of kitty litter so the cat pisses on your bed

slipping & falling on moldy pumpkins

posting to a moderated group and having your messages denied for some unknown reason

posing nude in the cold

spiral staircases

bars being opened up without the proper permits

drawing all over yourself and finding out the marker is toxic and dying horribly

cd roms that emit high pitched squeals

troll dolls that infect you with the plague

towels with orange and white stripes

papers that get delivered free to your house until some kid and his mom come looking for money

brown urine

stupid tissue box designs

beanstalks that go nowhere

spice racks

outdated alphabets

misleading soup labels

beef & chicken broth in things they shouldn't be in

stupid hats with gold trim

secret confessions that are never found

airplanes & boats littering the ocean floors

cheese snacks that aren't cheesy

chapped lips that bleed

raccoon tail hats

faulty sinks

books that hide when you only have 1 chapter to go

cats that fling kitty litter at you demanding more toys

digging up the wrong corpse

faulty coffins

waking up soaked in your own sweat

running out of toothpaste

getting deodorant in your eyes

getting drunk and trying to chug a lava lamp

poorly done tattoos

gasps of amazement

puking so hard you break blood vessels in your face

white pants or shorts

hats that make your head sweat and itch

cordless phones that randomly hang up on people

heart shaped pancakes

having to reuse snotty tissues

torn shirts

striped ties

loud vacuums that don't suck at all

the word 'mustache'

poorly designed furniture

sham celebrations

purple coats

sacrificial lambs

oversized earrings

pink staplers

bras that are impossible to get off

feng shui

rusty spikes in your bed

waking up in your own shit

Sheep stomachs used as hats

Your phone rings and before you get it, it stops.


creatures that are half man and half fawn who bounce around calling you "Lucy"

pimples on the palms of your hands

having to bathe in dirty water that was used to wash dogs three weeks ago

the sound of your walkman slowing down the tape you're listening to

dead people whispering at you in the night

burrowing elks who ruin your basement

dreaming that you get shot just before meeting Mike Patton

trying to touch the sky and falling down

barking dogs outside your place that bark all damn day long and then start barking at each other, 
then bark at the trees, then cars, then kids, and then each other again.

open houses during the rainy season

hair gel that drips from the ceiling

dirty sinks

being cremated when you were just sleeping

having your mom wake you and you fell asleep nude, surrounded in porno magazines and pictures of the 'golden girls' from tv.

running out of dishes and being forced to finally do them

monkey brain bits in your sandwich

being told that 'that's just the way life is'


licking your mistresses metal dildo and having your tongue stick to it because she had it in the freezer

false asteroid alarms

movies about things that don't make sense and the more of the movie you see, the less it makes sense. then, sean connery comes in out of nowhere in a crazy hat and shit is falling everywhere. there should be laws against this sort of movie.

assuming that someone is one sex or the other over the internet

thinking the emergency is over, then suddenly the sky lights up with fire

additional aggravation

last nerves

vulcans in sweat suits

Tripping and falling face first into pig shit

Trying to figure out what to do with 50pounds of pork

Eating cheesies and then finding out that they are really cheese covered shit from a dog

Having your ass invaded by hard boiled egg aliens

being obsessed with moldy cheese to the point of bathing with it daily

Dog spit in your mouth

Dolphin songs

Unruly hair

Socks with bells on them

Squished worms

Noises that you can't figure out

: one : two : three : four : five : six : seven : newest :