 Things That Suck If you are ever in doubt of something sucking, check this list. If you think you have a few to add to this list, join InsaneTalk.com and share them. |
hockey games where everyone is afraid to shoot the puck folding chairs that don't fold out lemurs who sleep during the day Frisbees mold in your paper mache bucket yellow cars and trucks dull scissors having a fish shoved up your ass, then pulled out so there are scales stuck in your ass sitting on a sack of lard and having it seep out onto you falling into the pit of eternal stench having walls move around when you're not looking advertisements where sluts say they've been having sex all weekend, and stupid guys who only drink with other guys the whole ex advertising campaign taco bell for selling untested genetically altered foods voting when there is no one you like but are forced to pick one anyways soggy socks going to a club where everyone looks like everyone else having to hold yourself back from punching someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend out plants that die simply due to lack of water loud feedback noises late at night working for a company that doesn't reward good employees, but instead rewards those who screw the company over and slack off local magazines that don't cover any local events soggy muffins MP3s that are missing the last minute having your fingernails fall off running out of kitty litter and having to use sugar falling off a piano wedding ceremonies that last for days and don't have a reception someone telling you to take a seat avalanches that bury you face down in the snow and you die there full two second stops at stop signs anything having to do with love company slogans made up by management losers wax buildup in your ear and it begins to hurt your ear blood blisters cold sores that seep out puss for days your first day at a new job cat drool dripping into your mouth and you like the taste someone farting and you lean forward to inhale more because you enjoy the smell sneezing animals that get snot all over you trying to pass to someone who isn't there having your chair pulled out from under you when you go to sit down choking on your own spit, then end up spraying it all over the person closest to you finding a parent's sex toy beside your birthday present... and it's still wet hurricanes on ice seeing a movie, then thinking that it could all happen to you, then not being able to sleep because you're so rambling sports commentators that can't remember any players names. unpronounceable last names wonky spell checkers parrots that keep talking to you 28.8 modem connections employers that lie to you putting on socks that have been sucked on by a cat! being asked to carry stones around in your pockets phones that never stop ringing walls that are so high you can't climb free worms eating into your brain while you're laying on the grass trying to get some sun having snot all in your keyboard and keys when you sneeze stuffed animals that plot against you when you're not looking horoscopes that are written specifically against you earthquakes while you're practicing a difficult yoga pose trying to talk over the sound of a helicopter being whipped with lots of belts on your ass because you broke a vase tanks that constantly run over your house mud that crawls into your bed and plays around for awhile wet fingers being shoved into your various holes in your body birds that peck apart your windows so they can fly in and peck out your eyes having to stand on telephone poles finding bird bones buried in your backyard insects that talk to you in high-pitched voices trying to dig a hole to china and getting your fingers burnt in the molten lava within the earth feelings washer fluid that is actually paint bitchy cats that pull on your hair at 6 in the morning cuz they want their damn food wrinkly feet alligator farms as your neighbors peeing in your own pool fat bald naked men running around on airport runways. the word 'cockpit'... do you really want to go up and see it? losing the remote and finding it covered in cat piss... but you HAVE to change the channel because some horrible reality show is on and you'd rather die then watch even a second of it... leaving things exactly as they were before soda machines that shoot out pop at you watching the skies for life and being disappointed each and every damn night eating crispers until you puke it all up falling off a skateboard having 'priorities' and having to keep them in order. i don't even know what they look like. when people come over, and you want them to leave, but you don't want to just tell them to get out. So then you have to make excuses, or exaggerate yawns repeatedly. Eventually you just have to say "well, i have to get up early tomorrow so..." or "i'll give you a ride home... get your coat." or "fuck off, i hate you" when you have noisy neighbors and you withhold saying something in fear that they'll send over their trashy kids to hang out with you for the day. sawdust toilet paper finding out you have been under surveillance for the last two years having old women dig their fingernails into your scalp picking your nose and having puss flow out of it instead of snot having your underwear stolen by sock monkeys Dew Instructions in a language you don't know Putting your hand on a hot stove Sticking your head in an oven, being pushed in and being baked Head cheese in your coffee |