2 Year Olds

Screaming Siamese Cats

Monkey Diarrhea in your soup

black and white photos of the sun

MS Picture It

Rain clouds that follow you everywhere

Advice columns by 'psychics'

Heartshaped lamps

Forgetting to set the alarm for Monday

Exploding pop cans in your bedroom

Badly made SCI-fi movies

Off-tuned pianos played by kids

Unicorns that spear people in the butt

Fish nets when they get all tanglely

Garbage chutes

Hiccups that last for days

Snot stuck to the ceiling and dripping down on your head

Crappy kids movies

Orange life jackets

Whale holes

Dogs that play fetch with your face

Corn getting stuck in your teeth

Bad haircuts

Pink stuff

Curlers

Bug spray that doesn't work

Egyptian symbols that look like feathers

Bear slobber on your face

Warm beer

Halloween lasting only one day

First days at school

Bush fires

Poorly drawn maps

Horn rimmed glasses

Raw fat in your bed

Rotting pumpkins on your carpet

Slamming doors

Burning retinas

seeing remakes of old movies and they suck worse then the original

Windows that are one way mirrors

Receiving pay stubs before being paid

Cat harnesses

Telling people over and over that you're getting married

Minced monkey tails

Ponds of blood

Ground up chicken parts in your bread

Broken glass in your shoes

Hair stuffed up your nose and every time you breath, more falls down your throat.

Being sprayed in the face with liquid fat.

petting your cat while it pisses on your blanket

having your sock monkey coming to life and trying to stick its tail into your ass

Subliminal messages telling you stupid things

Puzzle books with the answers ripped out

Static

False teeth left on dinner tables

Burgers with bites taken out of them from fast food joints

Running out of toilet paper

Exploding pens

Toothpaste stuck to your face

Runny noses

Birds chirping at your window at 5 am and you have a hangover

Sand in your bed

Siblings

Air fresheners

Bloody Ice Picks

Monkeys Having Sex In Your Bed

Batons

Car Crashes

Screaming Babies

Rice Krispies

Chickens on your windshield shitting

speeding tickets

Dirty socks that are stiff from sweat

Old lady sunglasses

Wrong numbers

Compost in meatloaf

Stale bread

Telemarketers that don't speak your language

15 minutes of previews before a movie

The word 'femur'

Statues of old ugly people

Smelly water fountains

2-way mirrors

Paisley underwear

long hair stuck in your mouth

Cheesy songs that play at the end of sitcoms

Scratching your sunburn

Rainstorms on your only day off when you've planned to go camping.

Sneezing with your mouth full of green Jell-O

Fish scales embedded in your tongue

Puss filled ears.

Large lumps on your butt

Prey

The word 'herogen'

Sunburns

Puppy chow in your cookies instead of chocolate chips

Ugly lampshades

Mid-life crisis'

Moving.