People who tell you to do one thing but actually mean another.
If YOU can't figure it out, how the hell am I going to? It doesn't take longer than a second or two to put some thought into what you're saying.

People who insist on stealing bandwidth even though there are instructions on how NOT to.
You greedy bastards! Not only are we freely giving away our graphics to use, but we TELL you how to use them. If you can't be bothered to learn, then YOU are the reason that websites are shut down. They have to PAY each time you use their images from their website.

People who tell you everything they're doing as they do it.
I'm just walking over here, picking this up, looking at it, thinking about it and now I'm going to... Damnit we don't care! Your announcing it doesn't make it interesting. If people want to know what you're doing, they'll ask or watch.

People who think penguins can fly and keep throwing them off buildings to prove it
Can you not see the pile of dead penguins down there? They obviously do NOT fly!

People who eat crunchy stuff all day.
Go eat in a private room or something! We're tired of hearing you chomp away.

People that post pictures of themselves everywhere and then complain they're 'ugly'.
Just admit you're fishing for compliments and stop posting your photo everywhere. People who truly believe they are ugly do NOT post photos of themselves.

People in stores that get confused easily so they just stand there.
You know the type, all wide eyed as they stare at the store clerk. If you are one of these people, carefully plan out what you want before you leave the house. People should not have to wait while you figure out what the hell is going on.

People who use the automatic check outs with their kids.
Those are for people who want to get out of there QUICKLY. You standing there with your full cart and two brats doesn't NOT speed things up. Then, the brats start pressing buttons, slowing everything down further. If you have kids and a full cart, go to a normal cashier and get the fuck out of the way of normal non-breeding people.

People who let the door slam in your face when they obviously see you coming but just don't care. They'd rather make sure they get in and ahead of you then try to help out, even if you're carrying something.

People who let their kids run up and down apartment hallways, screaming at the top of their lungs. Somehow, I'm supposed to think this is okay and not yell at the brats? Yea right.

People who come to your house with a friend of yours, then go into your fridge, take what they want, and leave the garbage all over the place.

People who you go for dinner with, and take turns paying. When it's their turn, they bring you somewhere cheap and bitch about the food the entire time. When it's your turn, they order the most expensive meal possible.

People with brats. Most people with brats think their kids can do whatever the hell they want, and the rest of us are supposed to smile and think it's cute. Well it's not.

People who fwd you email after email and never even so much as drop you a simple non-forwarded email that says 'Hi, how are you?'. These are normally the same people who message you repeatedly with all their worldly problems, yet never give a shit how you're doing or what's going on in your life.

People who would rather put their shit stained underwear behind your couch instead of throwing it out. (This happened to a girl I knew, not me.)

People who interupt you when you're speaking. It's especially annoying when they're doing it because you're a girl and they think whatever you say isn't important.

People who have those mufflers on their cars that make tons of noise, on purpose. These are usually the same people who have the loud pumping bass going all the time, regardless of the time of day or night.

People who have pool parties and blast music at 4 am until I'm forced to go out there and scream death threats at them.

Kids who act like complete assholes/bitches on their birthdays. They demand that everyone bow down to them and do WHATEVER they want. Then, something stupid sets them off and they’re in tears, screaming that everyone hates them and wants to ruin their party and how no one cares about them blah blah blah. In a fit of rage they destroy the presents and stomp up to their room. Then, the parents just smile at you like morons and politely ask you all to leave because their child is ‘ill’. Meanwhile, the kid is still screaming and throwing things around in their room.

People who come over and start drawing in your sketchbook, but instead of using blank pages, they draw overtop of what you spent hours drawing, doodling assholes or something nasty.

People who lend your books, drop them in the bathtub and return it to you like nothing happened. When you ask what happened, they laugh and say ‘oh yea, it dropped in a bit of water. It will be okay.’

People who purposely turn up your car stereo so that when you start your car, it goes on really loud, causing you to go deaf for a few hours.

People who throw handfuls of garbage out the window and their half filled cup explodes all over your windsheild.

People who drench themselves in perfume/cologne.

People who insist that others talk too much when in fact, it's them who talks too much.
Shut the hell up for a minute! How rude is it for you to complain about someone else 'talking too much' when it's you who talks about nonstop shit?!

People who do annoying things like shaking their leg without really realizing they're doing it.
You leg shakers that cause tables and such to tremble! Put some weights in your shoes or something.

People who start picking their nose when they think you aren't looking.
It's called peripheral vision. I can see you picking at it out of the corner of my eye and I'm just being polite by not staring. What's next, hands down the back of your pants as you pick your ass?

People who like to boss others around but they don't know what they're doing.
Just because you're bossing someone around doesn't mean you are being productive or helpful. If you'd just shut up and listen to people, (this is called FEEDBACK) then maybe you wouldn't need to shout so much about why on earth are things going wrong. Shut up and you'll find out!

People who find your socks in the couch, and then claim them as their own.
Ok sure, so maybe socks aren't supposed to be left on the couch, but that doesn't mean they're free for the taking!

People who steal your work and do it when you're not looking, and it's the only job you liked to do.
Get the hell away from my desk and get your own work! If anything, take the work I hate doing! Just don't forget to put MY name on it if you're going to do it WELL.

People who joke around when you're asking for some vital information.
Yea that's great, real funny joke, but could you pass me the wire cutters so I can stop this bomb? I mean, how rude is it to just start joking away when you're trying to defuse a bomb? Totally uncalled for.

People who phone you every day and it's the wrong number.
I've told you every day for the last two weeks - YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER IDIOT! Next time I'm going to pretend I'm who you're looking for and tell you to go to hell.

People who forward you blank emails.
How do you do that without noticing? Stop it!

People who give you an email address when you're asking for a website address.
Websites begin with www, emails have the @ in it, it's not that hard to remember!

People who rename themselves 'Grrakurllauka' and then expect you to remember how to say it.
That's not a name, it's a sound you make when clearing your throat! What the hell made you rename yourself that? Is it a role-playing D&D character name you think is cool or something?

People who send you winking emoticons all the time.
Damn, that's creepy, stop winking at me! Use the normal smiley if you must, but those winking ones are too much! Limit yourself to one a day!

People who spend all their time searching for ways to hate like 'gay' cartoon characters.
With all the violence and awful things going on in the world, is this really what you need to be thinking about? Yea, I can see what a threat 'gay' cartoons are to your kids. I'm sure that's the way your god wants you to spread a message of love and tolerance, by hating gay people. Then again, what do you expect from those who killed thousands of people for saying things like the world is round, that black people are in fact people, and that hey, women are people too. I mean, if they had their way, we'd all be living in a caves and pissing ourselves with fear.

People who like a color so much they turn into it.
Their clothes, their hair, and then even their skin! I mean sure, green is an ok color, but must you be nothing but green? There's no need to dye your skin green just because you like the color. Maybe some green aliens out there would be horribly offended if they came over and saw you being like that.

People who say 'Oh, is that for me?' each and every time you walk in with coffee or food.
You know, it might be funny every once in awhile (like every 3 years) but every bloody time is just being a pain in the ass. You may think it's funny, or think it's annoyingly funny, but it's not. It's just plain stupid.

People who saw off their leg only to prop it up beside them on the couch.
You went through all that work just to set it there? At least do something interesting with it before you bleed to death!

People who call you 'Pookie' or 'muffin' because they don't remember your name.
I'd rather be called Grrakurllauka. Make sure you say it RIGHT.