People Who Stare At You Until You Look At Them And Then They Look Away
That really pisses me off, I don't see how anyone can enjoy that.

People Who Call You "Buddy" "Sweety" or "My Friend"
They know that you hate them but insist on acting all chummy. Kissing up is fine, but that's just too much. Bring out the barf bag my friend.

People Who Have One Eyebrow
That's pretty scary. Did you know that most people have two? Yes! One above each eye!!! Not covering their whole forehead!!! wow!!!

People Who Claim They Watch Baywatch For The Plot
There is no plot. Just admit that you're looking at all the half naked people. It's ok to be a drooling fool.

People Who Make Their Own T-shirts With Puffy Paints
The shirts almost never look good. Stop it!!!

People Who Preach That The End Of The World Is Coming
So what if it is? You don't see me standing on some corner screaming about how we're all gonna die! No shit the end of the world is coming! Who knows when, but it's coming. Hopefully these people will die way before I do. Then the world truly will be peaceful. Oh, did I mention that WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!?

People Who Dress Up Their Pets
Go buy a Barbie. That's what it's there for. Animals don't really like clothing... ever see a dog in a dress store buying stuff? Didn't think so. Buy a clue with that Barbie.

People Who Touch Monkeys When The Sign Says Not To
What the hell is wrong with these you? Leave the monkeys alone!

People Who Pay For Things In Pennies
Have you ever taken a look at the line up behind you while you're pulling this shit??? Do you think that people will brake for you in the parking lot?  Try rolling the damn pennies, taking them to the bank, and getting some bills.  Then go buy your stuff. It's not that damn hard.

People Who Assume You Know What They're Talking About And Give You Shit When You Don't
So the whole world is filled with idiots... big deal!  Don't treat someone like they suck because they can't read your damn mind!! Mothers seem to be the worst for this... "How come you didn't come out and help me shovel the snow?" "I was sleeping and had no idea that anyone was up, much less shoveling the snow. " "Well how convenient. You should know better." "??????"

People Who Smile All The Time
STOP DOING THAT! NO MORE DAMN SMILING!

People Who Only Come To Your Desk To Fart
Why do you insist on doing that?  You walk over, fart and then leave, pretending that nothing happened.  Do you enjoy spreading your horrible stench? That is so sick.  Stay the hell away from my desk.

People Who Yawn At You And Then You Yawn

People Who Shove Credit Cards Up Their Noses
Get a clue. They weren't designed for your nose... but for your butt....

People Who Look Like Unicorns
You think you're so cool cuz you have a horn.  Well, you're not.

People Who Make Holes In Your Chapstick and Then Force all the Chapstick Out
It makes one hell of a mess and I am certainly not impressed.

People Who Rip Off Tags And Leave Gaping Holes In Their Shirts
They're called SCISSORS! Use them!

People Who Throw Rocks At You - Stop doing that!

People Who Eat Out of My Garbage Can
Maybe there was a reason I threw it out!... and why the hell don't you just ASK for some food???

People Who Try to Pick Up Others With Wrong Numbers
So you have phoned the wrong number... don't be an even bigger fool and try to date the person who answered!!!!!

People Who Say They Don't Burn, Then Get Burnt Bright Red And Moan About It For Weeks And Make You Rub Lotion On Their Back Everyday

People Who Piss in Your Watering Cans
Damnit!! I'm trying to keep my plants alive and you PISS in their food??? You SUCK!

People Who Shove Their Dirty Butt In Your Face And Expect You To Wipe It For Them
  That's just sick man.

People Who Pretend To Speak English But Really Don't And End Up Just Confusing Matters
Just admit you don't speak the language and I'll try to make it easier!!

People who pretend they were abducted by aliens just so someone thinks they're cool.

People who try to dye their hair with bingo dabber ink and end up staining their whole face and neck with it.

Angels
They think they are so wonderful cuz they have wings.  Well I think that KFC should catch them and fry them up too.

People who try to impress me with their the size of their houses
Houses don't matter in the real world.  You're stupid if you judge your life by the size of your house.

People who leave bones on your doorstep.
Stop it! I have enough!

People who hide fruit inside of the middle of muffins
Either spread it all in the muffin or don't bother.  If I wanted a mouth full of jelly, I'd go take a swig from the jam jar.

Coworkers
I don't like making small talk with you, I don't want to hang out with you after work, and my lunch hour is for me to have lunch, not sit and listen to you babble on about what politician you like, what sports team you watch or anything else you think is 'cool'.

Stauf
Bastard keeps laughing at me in the halls... but I am what he needs... I am the seventh guest.

 People named Pierre
I just don't like the way my mouth has to act when I say it.

 Sport commentators
You all just sit there and yip about nothing, and forever cling to the career you once had as an athlete.  Enough already.

People who walk real loud
what the hell?  why must you sound like a damn elephant? how do your kind know where i live and always live above me?

People who think they are star wars characters
You're a nobody... just face it and get that damn ewok costume off.

people who throw little snakes in your hair

people who wear suits in their houses and to bed and then wear pjs to work.

people who have hearing problems and then you have to yell real loud at them.
I SAID... PEOPLE WHO HAVE HEARING PROBLEMS AND THEN YOU HAVE TO YELL REAL LOUD AT THEM!!!!

people who pretend to be crash test dummies just so they can be in car crashes and get cool scars

people who yap on about their dandruff problem
it's sad enough we have to LOOK at it... why do you insist on talking about it??

people who insist on putting their grubby fingers on everything you own
get your own stuff... 

people who tell you to "settle down" when you're not even upset
don't tell me to settle down... i'm fine... maybe YOU should fucking SETTLE DOWN

people who are only being nice because they want to be nice people, but deep down inside you know they hate you and don't like you at all, but they'll never admit it cuz it wouldn't be nice.
who needs nice?  there is no place for NICE anymore!

people who refer to themselves as "Gerald E. Frienkienfurker Gibblet Froshhir Helicikki" and insist that you call them their full name.

people who go in chat rooms just to hit on people.
damnit... you can do SOOOOO much more with your time... go download porn or something and leave real humans the hell alone!  There is a reason that you are alone... you're not meant to even get the chance to reproduce.

people who go around spanking a few kangaroos for the hell of it

people who offer you food with no real intention of sharing it with you

people who steal your time-ship and leave you stranded in the 21st century
give it back, it's not funny anymore

people who dress up as well-to-do middle aged business partners
no one is impressed...

people who cause time-shifts
damnit... here we are trying to live in this time... and you go screwing it all up.
sure, most people don't notice, but it's pissin me off

people who raise interesting questions

people who jab sharp objects into your legs and then expect you to thank them

people who meow at you like they are a cat, but they sound more like a messed up sheep
if you can't make the noise properly.. stop trying!

people who say goodbye to each piece of garbage they throw out

people who say that 90% of the internet is bullshit when they've never even seen 3% of what's out there and then try to promote their own website.
so only the shit THEY produce is the the good stuff?

people who shave sheep just to see their butts better
we all know sheep have nice butts, but that wool can be put to good use! and damnit... stop slapping their butts like that... they say it really hurts.  sheep have feelings too.

people who use public telephones because they didn't pay their expensive phone bills
you should be out working hard to pay off your damn phone bill and learn to shut the hell up so it isn't so expensive.

people who are struggling for money, yet somehow have enough for daily calls to psychic and chat lines
get a fucking clue!  if you are like this, then just kill yourself now because you are too stupid to ever succeed.

people who sit their kids in front of the tv all the time and then wonder why they have poor social skills
try talking to your kids and doing stuff with them instead of passing all your duties to a piece of machinery.

people who have their underwear showing above the waist of their pants
who the hell wants to see your underwear? do you honestly think that someone will find this even remotely attractive?  you look like an idiot who can't dress themselves and danmit... PULL UP YOUR FUCKING PANTS

people who put up wind chimes without thinking
if you like that shitty sound of things clanging into each other, then hang the chimes somewhere where the whole damn neighborhood can't hear it or go live in a busy kitchen.  people who put them up without thinking should be shot

people who leave 2 sheets of toliet paper on the roll when there is CLEARLY a new roll there and they're just too lazy to change it

people who offer to help you with something, then bitch the whole time that they suck at it and to look at the shitty job they're doing

people who think the color pink is 'nice'
pink sucks and there is nothing nice about it.

people who make beer (and other) commercials where chicks are never fans of a sport
do you really think chicks don't EVER watch sports?  why not reach out to that untouched audience and show a chick as a fan... not all chicks suck ass like the ones on commercials do.

the people who are creating the commercials for hair removal products
i can't take any more commercials showing me how hair is either ripped off with sticky shit or wiped off with a nuclear waste solution... it's just hair damnit.

people who think that because they are drunk that it is ok to be complete asshole and no one should get upset with anything they say
screw that you idiot, you are responsible for everything that comes out of your mouth and if you're not man enough to keep your damn mouth shut then maybe you shouldn't fucking drink.