Latest things that suck
updated by JCP
Creatures that latch onto your face/throat and start sucking the life out of you.
Badly designed TV costumes.
Orange jumpsuits that are supposed to protect you from contamination but don't and then you end up dying in a stupid orange jumpsuit.
Laptops that move the keys around so when you go to type a ? or ! you have to search for the damned shift key and if you don't think about it you end up pressing the up key and putting sentences inside of each other until people think you've gone insane and then you DO go insane from trying to fix your sentences all the time.
Pens that don't have a consistent flow to them or don't dry quickly.
Waking up with a sore back.
Having to be at work and hearing the total insanity and bullshit of fellow co-workers.
When they send you stupid things like a truck of hugs and it's all done in ascii and you're supposed to send THAT pile of crap to 10 others.
Wet spots on the floor sucks, especially when you step on them while barefoot or JUST put on some new socks. Ick.
Going to stupid IKEA and buying a bed that's packaged into 3 boxes. You buy the 3 boxes and go home. Then you find out there is a fourth box that was included in the price, but NO ONE told you you needed it. Now, your new bed is missing the support beam and Ikea is 3 hours away. Fuck you Ikea and your bullshit packaging.
Getting a sore throat.
Having a woodpecker wake you up because it's pounding on the wall outside of your house and you go to yell at it but have a sore throat.
Having cold feet and you don't know where your slippers are.
Cat puke on the floor in the morning when you wake up and you have to clean it all up while hung over.
Dust getting sucked up your nose.
Melty candles that get all over the place.
Slime on stairs.
Water fountains that spray water directly into your face when no one else is looking and when you complain about it then suddenly you're the crazy person who has wet hair.
Rubber stamps that don't work.
Curly hair that makes your face itch.
Shirts from the 1980's that have stupid designs and colors on them.
Teapots with roosters on them.
Floral patterns on old sofas.
Getting your face slammed into a light switch on the wall.
Stinky undershirts that dads wear around the house.
Belt buckles that somehow light up and flash.
Zippers that break and the more you try to fix them the more they get all messed up until you get fed up and throw it away.
Freckles that spell out stupid words.
Off-roading in a transport truck while feeling ill.
Smiling and nodding while on the phone.
Throwing treats at your pets and having them ignore you or giving you a look like you're being a jerk by making them fetch it.
Plastic slides that pull on your skin and/or trap you inside them.
The way a lot of TV shows based in New York have edited out footage of the world trade centers in their re-runs. (Friends etc.)
Fireplaces that don't work and then you have to cover them up with plants or try to use them with candles.
Elderly cleavage that is threatening to explode into your face and it takes all your effort not to stare into the depths of it because if you did, it would consume your soul and you'd have to scratch out your eyes for looking directly at it.
Tshirts that get made into tank tops.
Poorly worded advice.