Nov 25/03

Are you, or have you ever attended sock monkey school? if you did what was your favourite subject? and what was the one that you hated the most?
i did attend sock monkey high school... and a few college courses... my favorite? hmmm... i didn't have just one... i liked art, english and math

if you were to attend university what would you study?
i'd study a lot of things... physics... geography... history... astronomy... marketing... archeology....

do you think it would be good revenge to shot someone with a paint ball gun?
not really no... how is that revenge? if anything it lacks imagination

would you ever come and live with me in Australia?
well maybe if you paid for me to come there... though i'm not sure how eager i'd be to sit on a plane for a day to get there

Since when did people start referring to me as Tiki on this site? - Mzebonga
i'm not sure... unless it was just you trying to be cool which could very well be true...

Why do i always fall asleep on a christmas song? leigh
i don't know but that sound disturbing

NEED ADVICE: i have a dog and my boyfriend's got a cat (got a new boyfriend...no more wallowing). We both hate each others pet. and there's no way i'm gonna get rid of my dog and he's as determined. In effect, we both can't stay in each others house which is ridiculous. this is the first time i'm in this situation. i cant believe someone is so dead set in keeping a pet over his girlfriend! I never killed a cat before and I've no intention in doing it now so that's a big no no. What should I do? leigh
1. cats ROCK 2. it's a damned pet and you two better get used to dealing with them or just break up now 3. who the hell would give up their PET for a girl or boyfriend? that's just stupid unless you're actually going to move in together and the other person is deathly allergic to them... 4. who are YOU to tell him to get rid of his cat because 'you don't like it'? how would you feel if he said you HAD to get rid of YOUR pet? the fact that you even threatened to kill it makes you an enemy of this site... i'd get rid of you before my cat...

DC honey you are so sexy i'd just like to eat your soul... hey i actually know Schizoid I'm from stratford but any way why does the U.S. Government still think that thier fooling us? its so obvious now, but no, not any sudden reveloutions and hundred of millions dead, gosh the world is boring we should kill all the ppl thathinguywhois (p.s.) Squirrels are superior check out scary squirrel world(its a website))
well i'll let you eat my soul but don't expect it to taste that great... i'm not sure who you are though... have i met you? and the US is in a world of their own... i'm not sure what the hell is wrong with them...

Why am I losing my memory? Was it the country music that was playing at the restaurant last night? Has it affected my brain? Ahhh! I forgot my nickname... What was it?
country music? oh no! we've lost you forever...

How come I can't find the answer to my question? Did you just not answer it? Do you have a thing where you can type in your nickname and then it comes up with your questions and the answers? You should have one of those. You know you want to.
if you'd like to punch in all my past questions and answers and develop a search function... then please do and then you can do that... if i get too many from one person or i don't feel like answering it... i will delete the question

Yesterday I saw my grandmother fly. She was watering the plants and then whoof! up she went. Is this a sign? What does it mean? - sniff.
well i have a floating grandma so i wouldn't be too concerned... in fact... perhaps one day you'll be able to fly too... and that will save you a lot of walking time

If you had to choose between an lemon tree and a map to Dinotopia which would you choose? sniff
oh i'd gladly select the map...

How do you know this question is going to be pathetic? Ahh! you're right it is! Are you psychic?
i'm playing the odds really...

What do I do about the person that sent me a text message thanking me for something... but I don't know who they are. Or what I did. Have I been sleep walking again? sniff
well as long as they aren't saying how much you suck, i wouldn't worry about it... maybe next time they'll send you thank you cash

why do rhinos have two horns? i dont have any. is it selfishness? supermandave
well we all have different things... some creatures (and humans) have horns... others have large noses... others have strange looking toes that look more like sausages with nails stuck on them...

i consider myself to be heterosexual. i have a healthy sex life with my girlfriend. but today i masturbated over a 'shemale' (chick with a dick) fucking a woman in the ass on the internet. is this acceptable? or is it a little odd? superman dave
there's nothing wrong with that as far as i'm concerned... so something like that turned you on this one time... maybe it will again... maybe next time it will be people dressed up in orphan annie costumes going at it... although i think i would be disturbed if you told me you were into that because she was horrid looking

have you seen the NTL adverts from the UK featuring a knitted monkey and a comedian? If not, you should, if you have, is the monkey related to you? he looks familiar. superman dave
no i haven't... are you sure that it's not just mzebonga dressed up like a sock monkey cuz he wants to be me?

How do i get rid of a blaster worm virus on my laptop? superman dave
lure it out with liscene agreements... oh no wait... oh yea... use a large magnet and run it over your harddrive

is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? superman dave
sometimes yes unless your 'love' is crazy and kills you

does avril lavigne believe we think she is actually a 'skater chick' and not a manufactured album selling commodity? superman dave
i'm not sure what she thinks as i don't read her mind... how about you send it to her and see if she writes a song about it and then you can be in a video too

how can the government take morality into factor for law when this government is based on democracy not theocracy and there is a clear seperation between church and state but how can they put down our dearest believes is anarchy the answer to a simpler happier world? -from justin
seperation of church and state? where does THAT actually happen besides in our dreams?

I know that nutella or halzelnut spread as some people call it is not the best thing since sliced bread, but you would have to agree it's the best thing to put on it!
well i haven't had it in a long time but i do remember it tasting good...

do you have colligen injections in your lips? or is it hereditry?
i just look good naturally

I know you hate brittany spears, but don't you think it's funny how she said she would never had sex until she was married. and then got fucked by Justin timberlake. not only does her music suck...............but shes a hypocrite too
and you're surprised? she's a moron and should be sterlized

do sock monkies live in trees and eat bananas like normal monkies do?
some of them do ... and yes... some fling their own shit for fun...

why do shampoo companies tell us to rinse and repeat? I tried this once and I didn't notice any difference. is this just a giant scam to get us to use more shampoo therefor having to buy more shampoo?
of course it's just a scam!!! i'm glad you caught on though... they won't fool you this time

what do you get if you cross some poo with a giraffe? superman dave
a huge creature that came across some poo

When I pet my cat she slowly slides off of whatever surface she is laying on and falls to the floor, never landing on her feet. I know she likes it when I pet her, as she always purrs and bugs me to pet her more once she has fallen. Is this normal behavior?
for your cat... yes... i've seen other cats do that too... it's best to catch them though...

I had a psycho Christmas shopper get after me last year for not having any pecan rolls. Turns out, we did have some, but they sold out. How can anyone get upset over pecan rolls?! McDiablo
maybe she has some sort of pecan roll fetish... isn't that a disturbing thought?

I only have two Geography classes left. Will I survive? McDiablo
sure you will... and if not... the land masses aren't drifting around so quick that you can't catch up

I was standing for four hours today and my back and feet weren't hurting. They usually do when I am standing/walking around for a long time. What's up with that? McDiablo
it's those magic socks your mom got you... go thank her and she'll pretend she doesn't know what you're talking about

Don't you hate it when people are mad at you and you have no idea why? Well, I do. Any ways to torture them to get them to talk? -ferretchick
those people suck and just bitch slap them

I hate little bitches who go to other schools and think they're all cool because they skateboard but you're a foot taller than them and you're described as "short." Why do afore said bastards feel the need to lower others self esteem just to make themselves feel like bigger people? (no pun intended) -ferretchick
just apply the 'bitch slapping' technique to them or ignore them... once you're out of school you won't have to think about them ever again until you pull up to a drive through and they ask if you want fries with your order

I'm pretty sick and i went to the doctor's again, and he said that i don't have the plague. but i'm not sure if i believe him.. do you think i have the plague? - Miss Roger's Sweater
well maybe not the plague but perhaps it's the black death... oh wait... that is the plague... maybe he uses a different term just to not outright lie to you...

I was just going to ask a baby question.. no wait i wasn't.. i saw the your little rule thingy. in other news, my chia pet died.. was it a suicide or homicide? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'm glad you read the rules... i'm very proud of you... and chia pets are strange twisted creatures so it could have been either one of those reasons...

My aunt keeps trying to make me take cough syrup but I'm certain that it's a truth serum designed to make me tell how late i came home last night. what do you think? - Miss Roger's Sweater.
if it's nyquil then i say CHUG and enjoy the insane ride... that stuff is just crazy... no wonder they used those nyquil pills in the matrix... they'll do some scary shit to you

Why would anyone want to look at autopsy photos? That's so disgusting!
maybe people want to learn about what sort of things are in their bodies... or they feel more of a kinship with dead bodies then living people... here is a related story

how many different flavor of skittles are there?
a whole handful

Nov 27/03

I need a funny guide for living in Toronto or any city.
that's nice... where is the question here?

What is a two way that girls wear? It is a line in a song and I have no idea what it is.
i think it has something to do with shoes... oh no wait... that's not a 'shoe' thing at all... haven't you seen requiem for a dream?

does pinnochio's dick grow bigger too when he tells lies? I'm pretty sure it does and the parents are too afraid to tell the children because they will get scared. what do you think?
no no... pinnochio is the boy that had a NOSE that would grow... it was dinkihio who's dick would grow when he lied...i was going to make some joke about how dinkihio says he loves you and his dick grows but i'm too tired to pull it together

can you buy peoples souls on Ebay? I am very interested in owning some.
most likely... be sure to leave feedback... or i can sell you one directly if you want... it comes in a jar

Do you think over time humans will evolve to have stuff like wings or big long tongues that catch insects?or maybe even gills so we can all live in big cities in the ocean.I think the gills is the most probable, because the green house affect over time will cover most of the earth water. After all isn't the point of evolution to successfully adapt to the environment? Merla-K
all of that seems likely and i for one will begin practicing swimming away from my own piss... anyone have a pool?

when you masturbate, who or what do you like to use as visual aids? P.S don't just say 'porn' because I feel that answer is too genaralised.
what makes you assume that i'll say 'porn'? i'm much more creative then that... i masturbate to lava lamps (once they've warmed up and begin to 'flow'), smurfette, fresh bread and the cartoon captain star

i'm pretty sure that this cold is going to kill me.. would you take care of my teddy bear for me when i'm gone? you can even use her in your sock monkey porn section.. i hear she's easy - Miss Roger's Sweater
well i don't think you're going to die just yet... but sure i'll take care of her for you... she'll always be warm...

tonight in wind symphony we played christmas songs.. i wanted to shoot someone.. is it wrong that i greatly resent christmas? - Miss Roger's Sweater
wind symphony? ... and no it's perfectly normal to resent the non-stop xmas music pouring out of every store, mall, radio and tv at you... it's annoying as hell... any idiot can release a xmas album... it's horrible

why must all my teachers give me big projects to do this week? they're trying to kill me aren't they? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they're trying to get all the work in before xmas comes and distracts everyone for awhile...

i am really bored. what should i do? i have a gf on the internet and i am waiting for her. i think she is mad because i overslept 2 times this week. do u think she is mad? i think she is because i had a dream she took a knife after me. why does my dog have to be so gay and chew on my cord? i hope she gets electrictuted
go get your dog a NICE home where people won't let it chew on cords while they blither on about their online girlfriends

So, is it only a good story when the person being raped is dead, or does the same stand for anyone who can't defend themeselves; like paraplegics perhaps, or the mentally handicapped? Sorry if I sound like a prude or kill joy, but I find it difficult to take the issue lightly.
i'm not sure what you're going on about (probably some answer i gave and now forget)... however i'd like to state for the record that it's never good in any way when people are raped...

I discovered a dimensional rift under my bed sometime last year. It was never a problem until just recently it began to suck in my left socks I left on the floor. In exchange for them, it deposits lady bugs in my room. The bills for my black cotton footwear are starting to add up and I can no longer stand the sight of lady bugs. Do you have a solution to my perils? Is there a way to mend this?
well i hate to break the bad news to you but you're doomed... either you whore yourself out to get some money for new socks... or you will have to sink so low that i can't believe i'm even suggesting this... don't leave your socks on the floor

I'm sick. Do you think I have the plague mentioned by Miss Rogers Sweater? Also, when will I get better/die from it? FartMonkey
well that all depends... do you have any sexy stuffed animals to offer to me if you die?

I was cowering under my blankets yesterday in an attempt to avoid light, which would have killed me. During this time I contemplated both suicide and nyquil (the green kind). At first I said no no, the taste just isn't worth it, I'd rather continue feeling like crap. Then later I said quit being such a baby and just chug the poison and you'll be out for hours. I took some, and it was even more awful than I had recalled. Don't you hate the feeling you get right after you take the first spoon, and you know what the second one is gonna taste like? What are your views on this and other aspects of nyquil? FartMonkey
i know you're sick and all so i'll type this in big letters for you 'THERE ARE NYQUIL PILLS'.. that's right.. PILLS... no taste to deal with unless you chew them... so tell whomever is tending to you (not your invisible friends) to go get you some before you start projectile vomiting at them

If you could fuck any celebrity of your choice, who would it be?
marla singer... she ruins EVERYTHING

DC I have absolutely no idea if i know you, but if you if you know a guy called webs from stratford then you might know me (cause i am him), but any way rules are rules so question time, is being insane sane?i think it is or is it sane to be insanely sane? sanity clause i need a sanity clause!Thatthinguywhois
i met a few people there... but i don't recall if i did meet you or not... if you have that episode on tape then go check to see if we've met... as for your questions... being insane isn't sane but it can feel like sane and then everything sane feels insane... so it's all a matter of perspective...

can dinosaurs come back to life?
oh yes.. haven't you seen that movie with them in it? they're not dead... some of them left and found a new planet far away... dinosaurs are like that...

Dec 1/03

Whatever happened the those people who do nice stuff like stop a whole gang og kids beating you up? And what about those women who feel sorry for you and have sex with you to make you feel better? What happened to them? - Mzebonga
well i've heard of the first group but the second is new to me... what DID happen to them on their way to my place?

Whoa! Who fucked up your site? - Mzebonga
what ever are you speaking of... <looks away>

How freaking long is it going to take for me to make up all the crap I missed on my sick days? FartMonkey
13 days...

Ever been to Maddox's The Best Page in the Universe? FartMonkey
you know, i think i have... but to be honest i didn't vote it as the best... it's not the worst either...

Have I really lost like 8 pounds, or is this dumb scale just broken? FartMonkey
it's a little of both actually...

what is happening to you?... better question... what is happening to me? - Nikon
that is a better question... and i'll be damned if i know the answer to that one

At the mall I work at, they have a display for where Santa is at. In this display, there are penguins. Since when did penguins start living in the North Pole? Do they think kids are too dumb to notice this? McDiablo
most ADULTS are too dumb to notice that... but you are above and beyond all them, which makes you the smartest person in the mall... we're very proud of you!

Who invented the word "revise"? Please tell me so that I can kill them. McDiablo
i'm not sure who did but if i find out... i will kick their ass for you

And while I'm at it, who invented the word "essay"? This person must die as well. McDiablo
it could be the same person... ? either way... another ass kicking when i find out

Do you know where the love is? If you do, could you please tell the Black Eyed Peas so they'll play something different on Music TV? - Mzebonga
no i don't know where it is... and i say you introduce them to the love of a good ass kicking... i wonder how many more questions i can answer with ass kicking...

i just saw the little pic for the "no cheer here" section. that makes me so happy! christmas blows. but your anti-christmasness makes me want to makeout with my monitor.. may i? - Miss Roger's Sweater
damn... i can't fit in ass kicking here... and i'm glad you like the new pic... the new site should be opening soon as jcp is working her scrawny little ass off to get it completed

i am still sick! i swear the government is trying to kill me.. they're trying to sterilize me aren't they? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are actually but being sterile is a GOOD thing... you should be thankful... and after that high wears down, take some more pills and it will all be ok... did the government tell me to say that? no... not our government... we're canadians... so therefore you're just sick due to your parents wanting someone to make them feel needed

i spent 6 hours today at work doing inventory.. now i know all of the seafood products we sell.. would you like some dulse? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i'll take some salmon... maybe some shrimp... wait a minute... did you spit in any of it?

at work today i was busy with the inventory gun and some lady wanted to know where the mayo was, so i kinda pointed down to the condinments aisle and it turns out there was a big display of mayo about 5 ft away from me in the same direction i was pointing.. the lady was amazed.. i nearly pissed myself. what kind of fudged up flue is that?! - Miss Roger's Sweater
well it does mean that she's a dumbass for not seeing it and then bugging you to point out the obvious... you and mcdiablo are too smart for your jobs... you should both take over...

What's the most you've ever fit into your rectum? - Ha ha ha
fit INTO? well so far things have only come out of my rectum... i have had some mighty big shit come out of there... but nothing that caused anal tearing or anything

Dec 4/03

Okay, I have finally figured out my only two options left to choose from. Either I give my girlfriend an Exacto knife and let her perform surgery on me, or I go to the doctor who supposedly fixed me up and beat the ever living shit out of him and do a little home surgery on him. Which would you prefer?? and dammit..why the hell is the cat staring at me??? Harbinger
how about you do both... have the girlfriend give it a try... and just make a doctors appointment for later on that day just in case she doesn't do a great job... the cat is staring at you trying to figure what it finds most offensive about you

in the inevitable war between the sock lemurs and the sock chimps, where will the sockmonkies side?
i'm getting deja vu with this question... best to just pretend everything is normal and maybe the feeling will fade

If a man sticks a frozen banana up his ass does that mean he is gay or just a bit weird?
it means he's a tad more then just a bit weird... or drunk

How come when ever I come into my room I see monkeys on my bed..there always yelling at me, and throwing bananas like i did something wrong. What's wrong here?
you have to make more noise on your way up the stairs... you're scaring them every time you fling open the door

DC, if i post a question with links to some pictures i thought were funny, would you remove the links or would you post them? -CasualFatality
well if i found them funny then i might just post them... then again i might just delete them so that you would write in again telling me how much you hated me until i cried... sometimes it's good to have a good cry in the corner isn't it?

So, we have plenty of pecan rolls at work, but no one is buying them. Where are the psychos who usually want them?? McDiablo
i don't know... and that makes it even more scary... you better be ready to defend yourself when they finally come bursting into there demanding them by the carton....

From now until Christmas Eve, I have five days off. I'll be able to survive...right? McDiablo
woah... i don't know... i'd stock up on the slurpees if i were you...

I just found out that in the UK, they passed a law that enables the police to fine people who are driving and talking on their cell phone. Why can't there be a law like that in Canada?! People in my area can barely drive and chew gum at the same time, I swear. McDiablo
that'd be great... i think i'd become a cop just to enforce that rule

why are stores open 24-7 closed on holidays? -Drucilla
so the pissed off employees working during the holidays don't snap and set fire to the building

Dc do you like toothpaste? Do you have teeth? Can I see them?
i like to use it... yes i do... and no... keep the hell away from my teeth

I think since X-mas is coming, everyone in the mall I work at is getting grumpier--even the usually cheery security guard. Will this grumpiness rub off on me, too? McDiablo
oh yes... in fact it probably has by now

How weird is it that when I unlocked the door to get into the storage room, there was a man dressed as Santa trying to get out of there in his motorized scooter? McDiablo
that's really weird... very weird indeed

Continuing with the above question, how much do you want to bet that Miss Roger's Sweater would have shot that Santa and stolen all his candy canes? McDiablo
i'd bet many candy canes... in fact that's what you can get her for christmas...

what happened to the good question awards?? have there been no good questions, or did you just stop giving the awards? -Asylum
i'm not sure anymore... am i just being lazy? are there no good questions? would i even know a good question if it bit me on the ass? have i become too bitter? maybe my stuffing has gone bad? could be anything really...

So, if Christina Aguilera wanted to get dirty, why did she make a song and not just dig her garden over or paint the ceiling? Or slit her wrists? - Mzebonga
i'll bet your sitting there right now thinking about her getting dirt in her slit wrists... rubbing it in there... her saying 'yea mzebonga... it HURTS sooooo much...' and other such nonsense... well that's just sad mzebonga and you need to stop buying her cds...

why are sock monkey's so cute?
it's the tails... who can say no to tails?

what is this...thing? http://home.pacbell.net/bettychu/2003allbreedbisris/bc3dx-10.jpg is it a rabbit?
i think it's a rabbit... what the HELL? (no it's not dead)

Dec 7/03

well, then, i guess it depends on your sense of humor...do you find projectile vomiting funny (if it's happening to someone else and not you)? -CasualFatality
mostly yes actually...

almighty dc....yeah, k, heres my question: i have been betrayed by sum1 i thought woz my best friend and fellow freak! my TRUE fellow freak suffered as well! what is the best way to humiliate, murder and discriminate this piece of filth? *i have already tried using sliced cheese and onigamo auberjines, but catapulting them at her using a rock bread with banans, but it didnt work!!!!* fudge.
well your using the words 'sum1' and 'woz' with this person might annoy them like it does me... is it THAT hard to just spell the words properly? no... so do it already... as for your question... throw rotton mushrooms and see if that works

im pretty sure its not a rabbit, i reckon its a guinea pig. wot do you think? supermandave
it's a bit of both.... isn't that strange...

if i eat my own ass with a spoon, what are the odss of it growing back? superman dave
well i'd have to say it's probably not going to grow back too quickly...

is it finger licking good? supermandave
mostly yes

should i get any more tattoos? supermandave
two more...

the oother day i was walking down the street when a giraffe climbed out of my ass and ran away. what should i do? where did it go? should i follow it? supermandave
it's time to let it go... it has some things to take care of and who are you to stop it? you're just some guy who came over for coffee one day and ended up being a love slave... just get over it and get on with your life

if you could pickle any dog, what dog would you pickle? supermandave
poodle... pickled poodle...

if you were on a plane with the cast of 'lord of the rings' and you crashed, killing everyone on board except you (you are now stranded in the wilderness) who would you eat first in order to survive? suermandave
i'd eat the frodo guy first...

if knowledge is power and children should be seen and not heard, what is the meaning of pumpkins? supermandave
to be carved and tossed around

What would you do if the only word you could say was 'yes' and a fat man asked to rape you? -ferretchick
well i'd have to shake my head no unless he offered me candy as well

A healthy infatuation never hurt anyone, right? -ferretchick
well as long as it's healthy...

Why do guys have nipples?
so they have something to play with when playing with their dicks isn't allowed

I am afraid of clowns. Lately, my brother and sister have been taking advantage of my fear and have printed off pictures of scary clowns and left them on my bed. My sister even took a picture of myself and made me look like a clown with Photoshop! When will the madness end? McDiablo
you have to be strong and pretend it doesn't bother you... but it will bother you and you'll piss the bed a few times in the night... but if you can wash the sheets without being caught then they will eventually stop teasing you with clowns

Miss Roger's Sweater and I are compiling ideas on different uses for tampons. So far we have: Use them as X-mas tree ornaments, earrings, back scratcher, and a bird feeder. Can you think of anything else? McDiablo
you can draw faces on them and act out plays... i guess you could make them finger puppets... nevermind...

How can people not find where the food court is in a ridiculously small mall? McDiablo
they are STUPID

So what's really in glue? FartMonkey
sticky stuff... and other stuff

Ok I bought a pack of 10 reeses peanut butter cups. Upon attempting to eat the first I realized they must be like 8 years old because they taste like crap. But anyway, I have 9 perfectly good looking still wrapped ones. Can you think of a prank so I can put them to good use? FartMonkey
just shove them into the microwave and watch them burn... that's more fun then a prank

Have you ever beaten the crap out of someone with an electric guitar? FartMonkey
not lately no... are you wanting me to do that to you again?

What will I name the little styrofoam man? FartMonkey
gerald

If I ever accidentally reproduce, I vow to beat my kid whenever necessary, including for my own amusement. Do I need to kill or just maim those who object? FartMonkey
well i guess that depends on how much they object... and how violently they object...

Wouldn't the world be a better place if people reproduced asexually? FartMonkey
in some ways yes... in many other ways, no... basically there is just too much reproducing as it is...

What do you think of scatter plots? FartMonkey
well considering i'm not sure what the hell you're talking about... i'd have to say i'm outraged by them

are you real
no i'm completely fake in every way

Dec 10/03

whats funnier than a dead baby? supermandave
a human head in a jar

pickle or ham? if you pickled hugh hefner, would he get any more wrinkly? can you pickle pre-pickled pickles? i once pickled my jar of vinegar. is that the definition of ironic? am i a pickleaholic? supermandave
pickle... i'd rather not think about him naked... yes... and yes you're a pickleholic

if NASA reckon they've now charted 1% of the universe, do they know what the other 99% is? and how do they know what 100% of the universe is if they havent charted it yet? why wont they tell us? whats at the end of the universe? supermandave
did NASA actually release a statement starting with "We reckon..."? and they have their ways... i'd tell you but you wouldn't believe me and then you'd cry

have you ever had a question you couldnt answer? supermandave
oh yes.. it happens a lot... most the time i don't care that i can't answer it

where does the phrase 'a different kettle of fish' come from? i know people used to smoke fish in a 'kettle', but whats the significance of them being different enough to class things by? supermandave
see... this one i can't answer because i don't know... and this also falls under the 'i don't care' category

why will noone around me admit that trisciuts are one of the greatest food items ever created? dont you love triscuits? why do triscuits always make me feel like a slurpie? is there anything better than a big box of triscuits and a jumbo slurpie? i prefer my triscuits right out of the box, how do you like them? ever make one of those wierd truscuit recipies that they use in thei ads? what ever will i do when this box of triscuits runs out? there are no stores open that stock them at this time of night! is my infatuation with triscuits unhealthy?why am i so unusually into triscuits right now? what would you say the greatest preperty of the triscuit is? do you think that maby one day mankind will have all the triscuits and slurpies that they will ever desire? what should i do with those who disrespect the triscuit? do you share my believ that one day the triscuit will end all of humanities preblems and bring about world piece? what would be the best way to overthrow GWbush with triscuits? will triscuit crumbs damage my keyboard? how long will it take all these triscuits i am eating to heal all my infermities? how long will it take for triscuits to lead me to enlightenment? these triscuits are makeing me thursty. what flavor slurpie goes best with triscuits? how can i get my brother to start likeing triscuits? why are triscuits not already recognised by the medical comunity as their own food group? what does the word triscuit mean? who was the guy who invented triscuits? why do triscuits go so well with gummie worms? why would'nt aliens openly contact a species so great as to invent something like the triscuit? i have just realized that triscuits are way to good to have likely been invented with our current technology. is it possible that they were created and are being supplied to us by aliens? what part of the triscuit tree do the crackes come from? do you think it's possible that triscuits are inteligant? and if so do you think they have indevidual personalities?
you have some serious issues... i suggest you seek professional help

Do you find this as funny as i do? http://www.funnyjunk.com/p/0364.jpg -CasualFatality
sort of but not really... damnit.. pop ups... sigh...

Gee, I cannot seem to GRASP those rules over there..How may I further hold them...hm Lol.
hold them in your lap

the other day, i saw an old lady walking a poodle down the street, and i had to fight the urge to run them both down and make cheese from their remains. is that normal? -Asylum
yes... at least for me

damn it...i'm bored. i feel like doing something, but i'm not sure what. what do i want to do? -Asylum
throw things.. that's always fun

i have no ambition to shave my legs, could this end up causing the demise of the world? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's winter... who cares... you need the extra warmth

i bought a new cell phone last week, would it be wrong to makeout with it's awesomeness? - Miss Roger's Sweater
oh yes it would be... do not stick your tongue in it

Is it wrong to program the words "Screw Xmas" to constantly appear on my phone? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not at all

the christmas music at work is driving me insane... why did they play 3 different versions of 'chestnuts roasting on an open fire' back to back? this is insanity isn't it? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are trying to torture you... its an experiment where they do that stuff and see how you recact.. there are cameras everywhere

Will you have gay gay monkey sex with my friend the Blue monkey boy called Hamishio?
maybe next month

guess what... i want your asshole for scientific expirements on how to squeeze basketballs in tight spaces.. so far we have figured out that we have to deflat the balls after numerous failures...but we need some test subjects, were down to one.dc, howaboutIt?
meh.. i'm busy...

The flu is going around, is it a part of the cats plan for world domination? -ferretchick
no... that's something the birds have brought upon us

What is the worst question you've been asked? (Real life included...) -ferretchick
hmmm... there have been so many... there is no way to pick just one... so many stupid and really bad questions...

Is it wrong to completely trash an insane Oklahoman pothead in your story? -ferretchick
not today no

Do you know a place to buy silver bullets for those who go to the dark side (the "popular" side)? -ferretchick
i've never bought bullets so i cant help you... how about garlic bullets?

Should I make a brew before or after asking a question...? Anomalie*
both!

How long do geese live? FartMonkey
about THAT long

why are we here
to read some stuff and not have pop up ads bother you

Dec 14/03

So ive been gone for a while but i'm back(yay) only now i live in das stix far away form broad band why must my life suck? - Kyoritsu
das stix? that sounds made up... are you making things up again? i told you before not to lie like that unless you gave me coffee first and you didn't bring me anything...

If doom were an animated force, what do you think it would look like? Would it be able to move faster than your average human? What would it smell like? ... And why is it outside my door?
i think it'd be all prickly... and it's outside your door because you called it... don't you remember?

Why does my mouth get this weird taste in it after I wake up from a nap? McDiablo
while you're asleep... your mouth will open and the top layers of skin in your mouth dry up and die... when you wake up and wet your mouth... that stuff you taste is the dead skin

A woman spent $1000 on chocolate today--chocolate! Well, baskets with chocolate in them. Still, that's pretty crazy to me. What else does she possibly spend lots of money on? McDiablo
that is indeed insane... $1000? on CHOCOLATE? perhaps she planned on eating it all in one night and having the biggest sugar high of her life...

If Zellers is supposed to have low prices, then why do people shoplift from there? McDiablo
people shoplift from everywhere... i don't understand people who shoplift and get some sort of enjoyment out of it...

hey DC, have you ever seen the popular(well not realy) web series Red vs Blue?
no i haven't actually... i also haven't seen a few other million other websites but i'm working on it... i'll look it up

if its not Fair then could it be Circus?
all that matters are the evil rides designed to break down and take out kids

The circus Maximus was the roman way of having a good time whilst killing people who" aren't worth Haveing alive" evrybody liked it aparently and much money was made just good for the economy i guess. so why cant we do the same thing with sayy... prisoners, let them choose of course. now the old romans used to have animals fight people as well but i dont think we could get away with that people love animals more than other people Especialy when "they deserve punishment." so other than the fact that this is just the next logical step in the progression of Professional wrestling and just moraly wrong. whats wrong with that?
how about we do it with those rich assholes that steal millions and billions of dollars... we'll start there... the only problem is that humans should NOT be in charge of assigning who is to be killed...

In your list of crappy gifts, it says gloves, socks, and scarves..are you implying that socks suck? Socks rock my...well they rock my socks, and I'd actually like socks for christmas. Now those weird socks with the individual toes are stupid and nasty, and of course if they have stupid logos on them, but overall socks are our friends. I demand satisfaction! FartMonkey
well socks with stupid little bells or something on them do... the socks know when i'm talking about them or not...

About an hour ago I was just sitting here typing and my hands smelled like PEANUT BUTTER! I havent even eaten any peanut products all day! Now I smelled my hands again and they suddenly smelled like sausage! The weird thing is I dont even like sausage! Do you think I have a disease or is this just my guitar teachers black magic getting me to stop biting my nails? -boing!boing!SPLAT
you need to begin sniffing your hands every hour and writing down what they smell like... also keep a list of anything you touch... we'll get to the bottom of this

if you shoot a gerbal out of a potato gun into someone else's ass is it considered buggery, beastiality, both, or neither? if neither, then what is it?
i think it's mostly unfair to the gerbal unless it's into that sort of thing...

if you eat moonfruit do you become a homosexual moon fanatic? - The Don
not this month

would you have sex with a llama? if so what position? and her/his (llama) sex name?
i'd have to say no i wouldn't... unless it paid me

what's the foulest word you've ever uttered to anyone? leigh
i don't really know... does throwing things count as words?

What would you do if someone ask you to spy on someone and will give you a lollipop in return? leigh
i don't like lollipops so i'd have to say no

If George bush throw a dirty finger on you, what would you do? leigh
i'd throw whatever i could find and throw it at him until he left

how come there's a pink lemonade flavor of Snapple and i'm drinking it right now? leigh
if there wasn't... you'd be sucking on a bottle full of piss and how would you feel then?

freakzandsellers of EBAy crap are really tyrant lizards are they? the u.s. economy sucks but why why why DCthathinguywhois
well ebay isn't too bad if people just learn to READ and THINK a little bit... but i know how you feel so you just buy things directly from me and we won't worry about ebay anymore

What is your favourite dessert? McDiablo
cheesecake

Will I be able to survive working six straight days next week--and in a mall that plays the same X-mas music over and over again? McDiablo
well... survive yes... as in you will live... however you will snap and do some insane things that you'll write in about... we look forward to hearing from you

What should I do after I'm finished my last exam? McDiablo
scream

are you ready to rock? i said, are you ready to rock?
no not really actually... maybe next month

Do you button your red and black plaid flannel all the way to the top?
considering i don't have one... i'd have to say no

What would happen if God became an atheist? - Wolfdog
that's already happened... turn on the news and see what happens

Why are we (the readers of your page) here? -Wolfdog
for my incredible wit and ... yea ok that made me feel sick too... you're here because there are no pop up ads

wha is the meaning of life? tech
42 and nothing