Oct 26/03 My internet connection
was all wonky, so I unplugged my firewall for 30 seconds like
a tech. guy once told us. It usually works after you do this,
but I had to do it three times. Is my computer rebelling at last?
McDiablo There was a really
bright rainbow outside not that long ago. It was kind of cool.
Do you think I should have looked for a pot of gold at the end
of it? I'm kind of wishing I did now. McDiablo So, why is it that
I puke for no apparent reason? It's gotten to the point where
I've nicknamed myself the Unwilling Bullimic. McDiablo
OH YOUR SO FUNNY!how
dooo you do it?-Zellouses Am I putting on the
condom wrong, or is it supposed to turn blue like that? i love u!!!! do u
love me?!?!?!!!! when u have to pee
for a really long time and u keep on holding it in, does it make
u feel horny? mariedk After seeing the
adorable little monkey George Bush stumble through yet another
speech I began to wonder how on earth this barely literate man
got the idea to run for president. Then it hit me. The words "election"
and "erection" are wonderfully similar, and could easily
be confused up by a man whose worst enemy is any word with more
than two syllables. My theory, Bush never wanted to be president,
he, like his predecessor, merely wanted a blow job! What are your
thoughts on this? Those Hallowe'en
sock monkeys rule! What can you people possibly think of next?!
McDiablo What do you think
of lists and list writing? McDiablo I start work at a
chocolate store in two weeks. I basically help out with the stock
during the busy times (ie: Christmas and Easter). I have to start
thinking about Christmas on November 3. This is going to make
me angry, I know it. What can I do to hide this anger? McDiablo Is pidge from voltron
a girl or a boy? Thatthingguywhois Did elvis really
die on a toliet? i think thats funny Do you use frontpage?
I'm trying to make a form on my site for people to send me stuff
but it just sends you to your mail and makes you write a letter,
which is stupid and unclassy. I'm stupid and unclassy, yes, but
I just want my form to work properly. Actually this question needs
a 5 page answer which I'm not going to get, so how about I ask
you how the weather in Canada is instead? FartMonkey whos the coolest
guy around?-supadingit have you ever taken
part in drug intake?if so were? and if so how? and if so what
type? and if so, is it a dependancy? or a living? or a social
thing? or a replacement for the days without your precious internet?if
you said no to all can i take it as a lie?do you have a opinon
on drugs?...hmm i want your opinon DC...i demand your take and
im pretty sure this isnt a survey-Supadingy Oct 29/03 Is there really such
thing as an inside-out pillowcase violation? McDiablo If you had a blank
T-shirt and a bottle of fabric paint in front of you right now,
what would you write on the shirt? McDiablo Has this 'put your
clocks back an hour' thing thrown you off, too? McDiablo guess what? from
joe momma!!!!!!!! hahaha, i'm a dick head.....and i dont even
have a dick. hahahaha. it got cut off in a tragic accident when
i was just a little boy.........who will ever have sex with me? Does anything insanity
and us run rampant? What other things might be running rampant
at this moment? Wildebeast? IHOP? - Mzebonga It says of Ver: "Responsible
for getting my.theinsanedomain online! Oh yea, and JCPs husband."
Did anybody notice that this can be read as "Ver is responsible
for my.theinsanedomain.com and JCP's husband"? What happened
to JCP's husband and how is Ver responsible??? Did he get drunk
and run him down and now JCP has a husband in a wheelchair? Or
is JCP's husband a mechanical creation of Ver's design? - Mzebonga ooh..monkey! <giggles>
sexy monkey..can i touch your tail? Ripper ive heard people
talking behind my back yesterday it was odd and uncomfortable,
they talked about me really disgusted and i havent even seen there
faces before... it was in school so i guess you'd expect to hear
things like that.but.. *sigh*... it was 2 people i walk by the
side of who were female i believe i tryed to get ahead of them
but we seemed to walk at the same pace so i dodged across them
and as i did that they said"ugh she was right near us."
"yes what a wierdo"...HUH?... people sure are strange..who
the hell were they? its hard to get around
with arms..without arms you have no hands and no fingers and no..elbows..or
forearms or..wrists.Damn its a struggle, how do i do it...?!?!anyways,
how is wings replacement to them?poor birdys, HOW?-supadingit will i ever touch
a fake boobie? First, I would like
to thank you for the advice that you gave me the other day. Unfortunately,
I had no idea what the term " masturbate " meant let
alone how I was supposed to do it more often ( pure thoughts remember
). In search of an answer, I asked a pal who explained to me that
masturbating is " flogging the dolphin " or " spanking
the monkey ". Now, I don't know any dolphins, but ... well,
you're a monkey and ... I'll just come right out and say it ...
may I spank you? And are you sure that this will pervert my thoughts
suitably? DC, why do people
feel the need to always tell me that i'm going to spend eternity
in hell unless i "repent my sins and turn from my wicked
ways"? why the hell can't they all just leave me alone?!
<sobs> Zpider When can I close
my eyes again? Why do I see purple
monkeys when I close my eyes?-eevil tie ninga When I fall through
the floor, why do I and up just falling out of the ceiling again? I'm just slightly
confused by Marilyn Manson's music. Maybe it's the "Strap-Ons"
attached to his forehead, or maybe it's him acting like a whore
on stage, or is it the odd and sexual theme to his lyrics. Just
looking at him throughout the years brings me to the question...
Why in mighty fuck is he still producing music ? How popular can
this flake be ? I, personaly, do not listen to the music for enjoyment,
but i am here to question why people have for so long. I can not
controll his somehow everlasting popularity popularity with hulking,surly,"depressed"
teenaged scum of today; therefore, I am to be doomed to watch
his retarted career continue , and all i can do is mope,whine,
and hope someone else has the same opinion as I do. Please tell
me you do ! -Dork How did Ah-nohld
win the election, was it seriously just because of popularity
? what's the point
of cabbage? big dave can you meke a sock
monkey out of a mitten? although i realise that would be a a mitten
monkey. What about a glove? or a scarf? can i ask more than one
question in a question? what will u do if i cant? why cant my
lecturer get a life? why do i like monkeys so much? can i go now?
big dave right.... i have
managed to look at my ass without a mirror by bending over backwards
and doing this wierd jumpy thing, does that mean: 1)my dog smells
of carrots 2)my dad is an australian pole dancer 3)i now have
a strange problem with my back that only a kangaroo with wings
and cabbage smelling BO can cure Damien_gothic So, for the past
few years we've been using see-through sheets as curtains for
the rooms downstairs (well, two of them anyway). My mom is always
saying that she will buy some curtains...but it has yet to happen.
Today, she was talking about buying some again--but is she really
going to? McDiablo My sister and I are
looking into a school called the Art Institute. When you abbreviate
that, it becomes A.I. Should we pretend that we're interested
in developping artificial intelligence that will take over the
world? Maybe people will worship us. That would be kind of cool..
McDiablo Would you prefer
to smash a pumpkin or stab it a bunch? McDiablo Nov 3 /03 this girl keeps staring
at me... its creepy-although she might be staring at the invisible
person behind me but i thought i was the only person that could
see him... the other day i found a 13 magazine in her backpack.
should i change skools, tell her to fuck off, or ask her friend
out? -napsterman666 DC, should i stay
home this halloween and pass out candy to little brats who don't
even bother to say "thank you", or should i dress up
as some scary-as-hell-nightmareish-kid-hating-beast and jumps
out of trees screaming at the little brats, and taking their candy
when they run away crying? i just can't decide what to do...what
do you think? -Ripper Why would Bill Gates
name his company after two negative characteristics of his member?
Wouldn't this be harmful to one's fragile male ego? ~ Blonde n
Gagged What's the most
pissed off you've ever been at the government, and what did you
do about it? ~ Blonde n Gagged hey, what have i
missed? leigh Did you carve a pumpkin
for Hallowe'en? If you did, what did you carve on it? McDiablo I prefer taking night
courses for some reason...7-9:50 (why they don't go to 10pm, I
have no idea). Today I was thinking that, damn, they go pretty
late. I mean, some people are in bed when I'm still in class.
What is it that makes night classes so appealing, do you think?
McDiablo The weather here
is so weird. We had a drought in the summer and terrible forest
fires, now there are floods. What the heck is Mother Nature up
to? McDiablo dont you get a headache
answering these questions? leigh do you know your
IQ rate? leigh Do the dirty socks
run rampant on people's feet or are they dirty enough to run on
their own? - Mzebonga Happy Halloween !
.... no socks ? What would you do
if i said NIGGER !? Can poop fly? What
if it could? Would it just fly out of your ass and hit some innocent
bystander and kill them? BS(bullshit) So, were there any
weapons of mass destruction, or was it just an excuse? Okay one time i was
trying to commit suicide by jumpin out of a window and I landed
on I bunch of poeple so it broke my fall and i didn't die. The
next time i tried i tried to hang myself and the rope i used came
undone when i put my neck in the noose. When I tried to slit my
own wrists the knife went dull and i couldn't fine the thing you
use to sharpen it. EVERY TIME I TRY IT DOESN'T WORK!! Why can't
i kill myslef? -the queen of all things dark and twisted Just curious,
why have you been sending me telepathic messages urging me to
kill Britney Spears? Why now? why am i having a
head ache? leigh what's the most stupid
thing you've done while you we're drunk? leigh could it be that
the wall is actually spinning around and not me? and why is it
that my hands are shaking? leigh what does the DC
stand for in DCshoecousa???? I know my
neighbour's cat wants to kill me. I try to postulate what his
plans might be, but the little bastard is always one step ahead
of me! For example, yesterday I saw him eating vomit off of the
sidewalk. Do you have any idea what message he is trying to send? If more people started
walking on their hands instead of their feet.. would they make
shoe's for hands? -infinityw00t wat did u do for
halloween? - the jag man Nov 6/03 i had a lot of fun
scaring the children this year. i even made a satanic pentacle
with fake blood and put a bloody baby shoe near it. ahh, the fun
of it all. anyway, on to my question. if people pick up a seashell
and say "i can hear to ocean", do fish pick up things
like cans, license plates (you know, junk that stupid people throw
into the ocean) and say "i hear the land"? -Ripper Well, I'm back to
being the stocking kid at ye olde chocolate store for Christmas.
At the time I wrote this question, it is November 3. Is it wrong
that they were playing Christmas music in the mall already? McDiablo Why does my creative
writing teacher want Miss Roger's Sweater to include "more
tampons" in her poem? (She wrote one about her period) McDiablo Why was that guy
sitting on the bench so bitter? McDiablo were is ted with
my chocolate?You'd think the fire would have burned down the pizza
factory by now.. Oh no!do you think..you
think it could be so..uhh nooo ohhh...has ted been killed by that
stray horse on the loose?-0supaDiong mister mighty good
looking man..makes you jelous, sick or does it stir something
in your pants?-supadingit there is a contagious
headache in my household...owww it hurts me...whhyy? oh the devil!!
whhyy?????grrr better not be that dirty monkey... *gasp*my dog
is hiding behind the couch and it has claustophobia!that bitch!ooooo..my
head hurts..whyyy??is it the dog? yum grapes are on
special at dominion..yum, you shop at the dominion??I highly recommend
and by the way were do you live in canada?my bets is on the yukon,
your lingo is a dead givaway. Have you ever had
an homoerotic experience that come onto you by surprise and ended
awkward and made you never speak to that person again?Evertime
he saw you hed stare and so would you and you'd get a queezy feelin
because you know what happened...?and youve never felt more insecure
about my sexuality before.. nothing is ever the same and you fuck
girl after girl...only to feel emptier and emptier... you tell
yourself you dont love him... but you dont know if what you feel
is just friendship "love"well hypathetically...have
you?? Hi DC, Hows life?
I've got a new email it's <email removed>I was having heaps
of trouble with my hotmail email so I said fuck you I'm leaving
going some place better. I haven't heard from Mzebonga in a while
so if he sees it he can email me thats if DC doesn't remove my
email. You can email me too DC it would be nice to hear from you.
Heaps of hugs because I haven't seen you in a while because I'm
a lousy friend, Sally. can you explode if
you light your fart up and it backdrafts? the cats have taken
my cheese Why?!!!!! thatthinguywhois do you know why the
united states government and the freemasons and illuminati are
taking orders from the cats, and molesting little birds in afghanistan
and bosnia, trying to eat all the souls of the fragrant elephants
in the ghetto, at the same time as masturbating in public? do
they really think they are fooling us?
DC The Almighty...
hear my plea. I need advice on whether I should throw the boyfriend
out of the house, or just tough it out until I have enough money
to move and start life over. (It's not abusive or anything.) I
trust your answer Almighty Sock Monkey. How many licks does
it take to get to the tootieroll center of a tootsie pop ? This
is an age old question I'm sure alot of people would love to know,
if you could answer this for me, many would bennifet from it.
Just think of all the advandces in medical science this could
bring.-off Wtf? The questionnaire
and whatif results are up (quite a speedy job, I might add), but
my answers are nowhere to be found. Did you delete them because
you hate me? FartMonkey Why did SAnimal
stop answering questions just after I discovered that I could
ask them? And what did I miss? Why do people pick on him? I like
him! ( holds breath and prepares for a tongue lashing ... on second
thought, that sounds rather sexy! ) Ack!! The Mormon
missionaries just knocked on my door!! Help me, DC, help me!!
What do I do?? What do I do?? <breaks down, sobbing> -Ripper
why do we live? Nov 10/03
it didnt work..the
missionaries just stared at me and laughed. then they threw one
of their mormon bibles at me. i said it burned when it touched
me and they laughed even harder. what jackasses, dont you agree?
or am i just crazy and deserve to be laughed at? -Ripper Will you ever give
good advice? I cut out britney's
head from a large poster and attached it to a piece of cardboard
for a new dartboard. I still feel like I'm doing something wrong
though, because it's still a picture of britney hanging in my
room. Does it being a dartboard clear me of the charges that I
fear? FartMonkey What would possibly
compel a guy to ask, in the middle of an otherwise friendly, normal
conversation, what it feels like when a girl has her period? At my school, there
is a mini art gallery in one of the buildings. I often go in there
and look at the exhibit...and this time it's pretty--well, interesting
and gruesome. There are large coloured photographs of animals
that have been hit by cars. Some are very graphic--like, the animal's
insides have become their outsides. What would your reaction be
if you walked into an art gallery expecting some abstract shit
and saw...well, THAT? McDiablo Since you seem to
be quite the cat lover, I assume that you have a pet cat. When
your cat is frisky, do you find that his/her fur appears to be
fluffier? McDiablo Is it considered
child abuse when your mother makes you hold the basket as she
puts lots of vegetables in it, thus making it very heavy and hurting
my arms and fingers? McDiablo DC, my aunt wants
me to take my nephew to see CarrotTop (fucking scary asshole).
she says that i should take my nephew because i am the only female
she trusts him with (go figure), and he really wants to go see
CarrotTop. What should i do?? I've considered suicid bombing the
venue just to rid the earth of that stupid annoying red-headed
irritation..should i do this, or should i just make his show miserable
and force him into retirement so he wont be able to bug anyone
anymore?? -Ripper What are the ingredients
in a "Twinkie" ? It's kind of like a small "cream"
filled cake , but then again, it looks like something that grows
behind your couch when you leave too many used tissues behind
your couch for a long time. -Off Buttt Monkey award
goes to "Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the
rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter
by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. Inertsetnig rhigt?" for
the fact that it was stolen off the BogGoblin forum. What a fucker,
no? - Mzebonga Did you think it
would be funny to give no "Good answer" awards for October's
What Ifs? You know good answers are the only thing that keep me
alive. DDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!
- Mzebonga What is the
decorous response to the question, " Who's your daddy "
? are u inadvertantly
telling me to start an avril levigne hate group? why now and how
long have u been making the voices talk? Teh JAg man i have a sudden urge
to...ahh i lost it . what should i do now? The JAg man I'm home alone. What
should I do? I've already spent the past hour dancing naked, and
now I want something else to do. FartMonkey My family, with the
exception of my father and myself, has become a ravenous gang
of ebay freaks. They talk to eachother in their little ebay codes
and keep using terms like "paypal" and "buy it
now", and feelings of hostility are rising within me. What
is to be done? FartMonkey Doesn't Sanimal realize
it isn't a great loss for us that he's not answering questions
anymore? He only answered like three times, nobody's even going
to notice he's stopped. Is he pretending that he has better things
to do? FartMonkey The thing is due
tomorrow! I'll bet the place is closed, too. Why didn't I do it
before? Should I just fake my death and move to Canada now? FartMonkey I was at petco the
other day and I wandered over to the cages with the lizards etc.
So I was looking at this cage of little green frogs, and in the
cage next to it there were all these crickets, and one cricket
walked right up to the wall of the cage and like 10 frogs started
launching themselves at the wall. They didn't seem to learn their
lesson, so they kept trying to eat the crickets through the plastic.
Then the cage above them appeared to contain nothing, but upon
closer inspection, contained a spider as big as my face. Don't
you hate spiders? And don't you hate that feeling you get when
you think about spiders, where it feels prickly like there are
spiders all over you? FartMonkey DC, you are almost
a advice column except you are dangerously insane and should either
be institutionalized or put into public office, being as you are
just a sock monkey, why do you think ppl trust your humble if
twisted opinion, or are they just crazzyyee?, or am i crazy for
even thinking that ppl trust your opinion? by the way the squirrrels
are behind the cats as rulers of the universe the cats just rule
the earth thatthinguywhois I really don't have
any homework to do for English this week. This strikes me as odd.
What am I going to do in the meantime? What is free time??!! McDiablo What is up with the
music that is played in the mall I work at? Sometimes they play
Christmas music...then 'soft rock'...then Good Charlotte and,
right after that, Shania Twain. McDiablo Well, earlier you
said you had to milk a bag of doritos "quickly" , but
what about a bag of SALSA doritos HMM ? How do you do that one
smart guy !? -is that a bannana in your pocket or are you just
happy to see me- S, O, ellvee spells
Solve, how do you spell winchester ? -is that a bannana in your
pocket or are you just happy to see me - What wopuld you do
if I gave you a dirty SANCHEZ ???? 'ey ?? Neu'eve Why do people always
use =),8),^_^, or :) to express happyness while chatting or anything
else that has to do with communication over typing ? The real
question here is what EXACTLY equals ) ? Nov 12/03 DC, i would honored
if you laughed at me while kicking the missionaries' asses! anyway,
my computer keeps making this weird clicking sound. every time
i try to type something, the stupid machine starts clicking at
me! why is it doing this?? could it possibly be morse code from
the little men inside it, or am i just hearing things? -Ripper my little brother
(he's 12) has recently started acting and talking like a gangster/rapper.
it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't white, and it's starting to
piss me off. what should i do?! -Asylum i have a friend who
i belive is loosing his marbles, so much so that he is unable
to function in his own world much less in the world of others.
he's a dear old friend, he's the one who said "fuck human
conclusion, human delusion!". he ask why no one will talk
to him? but when we attempt comunication he simply yells to leave
him alone. i belive that poeple have the right to live in their
own world as long as they dont violate the rights of others, but
my friend dose not seem happy in his new world. so i ask should
i try to help my friend even though he wants to be left alone
or leave him be as he wishes? i do not belive he really wishes
to be left alone but then again who am i to say what he really
wants? what do you suggest i do? sincerely--db"_" would you rather
be forgotten or rememberd? i rather be forgotten because even
when you are rememberd you arent rememberd as yourself as their
interpretation of you, do you agree? reality is preseption.--db"_" how many times where
you dropped on your ehad as a baby? - chocolatez do you have cooties?
- chuckroast what do smurfs taste
like? - chuckroast
Some of the pictures
in the " from our drawings " section are really fucking
good! Who did them? No, no, yes,
perhaps, and yes but you'd have to get me really drunk. What five
questions did I just answer? ( Go hard! I'm pretty much asking
for it! ) howcome everytime
i fall my whole life falshes before my eyes?? i need advice for
chosing a high school, should i go to Lane Tech. , Von Stubeun,
or taft? am i annoying you
yet? did my last question
go through? my computer went bung - sniff do people who work
for telemarketers get phone calls to ohter telemarketers? last night
i was givin my cat some more hits from our bong, and well she
went crazy and swallowed my cellphone. If i put my cat's ass to
my ear can i still recieve my calls, or should i just get a spork
and gouge it out? ** :: soliloquy
:: I’m curious about these “sexual favors ” that DC talks about,
but lack the fiscal resources that he requires for them ... hmmm,
he is after all a sock monkey ... perhaps I could trick him into
a good groping... ** I just read your and Ripper’s comments about
Carrot Top in the last q&a and they totally reflect my view
on the subject ... so much so that I’m afraid people will conclude
that mine are a mere imitation. I’d like to state that my hatred
for that bastard child of a furball and a drag queen is legitimate
and absolutely, one hundred percent my own ... feel my chest if
you don’t believe me! Is there a wrong
time to just start busting a move? McDiablo Why does that book
say it's 'restricted' in the USA and North America? Since when
did the USA become it's own continent? McDiablo How come teachers
in high school didn't cancel classes? Do teachers in college do
this because they know you are paying to get educated? McDiablo how do i know that
this world that i inhbait is actually a world at all? how do i
know that i am actually a person? how do i know that i am not
simply a brain floating in a jar somewhere, hooked up to some
insane computer? how do i know that as i type this some lab technitian
is not recomending that i be terminated imediately? TheJman, (or
subject 133789g42dddl336549s?) Sockmonkey, I have
never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not
even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought,
and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against
many. Valor pleases you, so i ask you to grant me this one request.
Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you! Nov 16/03 Why is it that all
guys want a big penis, don't they realize that after it gets so
big it is no longer useful? It can never fully get hard. It can
never fully go into a woman, or her mouth for that matter. my friend and i always
get into an argument over whether or not carnies are really people.
i say they arent, he says they are. who's right?? -Asylum Why can't I just
finish highschool? Im 28 Whats your favorite
body fluid? What's the
logic behind your decision to be a vegetarian? Oh, and does getting
a monkey butt award make someone a priority when it comes to your
plans for global sterilization? If there are two
men in my bathroom who insist on never leaving the toilet, what
should I do to encourage them to eat soap instead? Should I kill the
lil bunnies and all dogs then sautee them in seafood sauce? To
present to our future Gods!!... my future leader..my future guidance
to replace this failure of one..This faceless hope-giver and nothing
more... or should i turn my head away from all religion in entirity?-the
cats have there claws scrapping my spine as a scratching post,
blishkelly Now, see, what I
fail to see is why all of my friends seem to enjoy the company
of this ANNOYING little freshman girl. Can you tell me why? I
fail to see anything halfway interesting about some chick who
carries a smiley face umbrella like she's a six year old in Disney
Land. And why do they like her better than me? -ferretchick You know how they
say money doesn't grow on trees? I don't know what they're on
about... take paper money for example- where does paper come from?
Exactly- trees. I do realise that the paper has to go to the printing
thing or whatever it's called to actually make it into legal tender,
so, oh... I just made a fool of myself. Ok, so maybe money DOESN'T
grow on trees... but the materials required to make it do. Apart
from coins, of course, seeing they're made of metal and all. Great
site, DC. Although reading all these letters often made me laugh
(sometimes resulting in falling off my chair and causing minor
injuries), my eyes now hurt like hell. Maybe sitting in the dark
whilst doing so was a bad idea. I'm going to go now... my sock
monkeys need attention. See? I took your advice, took them to
dinner and they love me for it! (I think sock monkey #42 has a
thing for me) By the way, I live in Northern Ireland, and I'd
like to know what the hell is up with the money over there in
the states. It's all the same size, so how do the blind know they're
not spending $20 on some twinkies and no one has the balls to
tell him? It's all the same color aswell! The treasury is so unimaginative
over there. Gibbo That 'Jack Asshole'
thing was...interesting. Should I just leave a random note like
that one someone's doorstep? What should I write on it? McDiablo Christmas commercials
on T.V. are stupid, but why are they getting stupider each year?
McDiablo I was just told that
in Britain there is a proposal to lower the age of consent to
12 years old. What do you think of this? McDiablo i like beer,but i
have no money to buy beer, how can i get beer? if the mome wraths
and the borogroves fought to thier bloody deaths what would thier
combined bloody pulp taste like? smudge Hey, remember me??--Syko
Morgana i have neglected
the insane domain for months..do i get a spanking?--Syko Morgana what if you told
people you liked clams so for your birthday they bought you a
big tub of clams except only you knew that you were really allergic
to clams....would you refuse the clams or eat them and die? -ferretchick what about the elephants
?-schizo So I recently had a falling out with
my best friend, her favoring a younger friend as opposed to me,
not that she made any effort to be my friend
after meeting this new person. It was a savage fight, and it seems
that making amends is impossible and even if it does happen it'd
be awkward. I hate her new younger friend because she's annoying,
and I'd undoubtedly be forced to hang out with her if me and the
best friend made up. Any ideas on what to do? Make an effort and
make up or forget about it? I'm so confused. well in order for you to be a good friend you'd have to put up with her new friend or at least be civil about it and if that isn't worth it then forget it... or just leave it where you've made up but don't hang out anymore... either way... get new friends Who was the first
person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these
dangly things here and drink what comes out"? - ryan "Why does my
Sock Monkey Porn Star T-Shirt rock so much? why has it made me
so much more popular and cured my parkinsons?" - Empriss
Nikon Nov 19/03
Hey DC! I'm back..
where the fuck have i been? - Miss Roger's Sweater did my increase in
slurpee consumption fact in on the fact that i got sick? - Miss
Roger's Sweater. i went to a new clinic
today and they all spoke with an english accent.. what's with
that? - Miss Roger's Sweater DC DC DC DC Why are
the gnus (who, i might mention are fairly new) eating each others
scar tissue? (Why can't I have some?)thathinguywhois that "jack asshole"
thing is hilarious!! i got one of those a few weeks ago..except
it kept telling me that i had better "watch my back or i
would be sorry". nobody believes me that some random person
put it in my mailbox..why don't they believe me, DC?? why!!???
<sobs,coughs,chokes,shifty eyes> -Asylum Why won't the Cat
in the Hat visit my house? I mean, it's not that I have too much
fun or no fun at all...but I need to steal his hat somehow. McDiablo My mom fed my cat
this morning and she ate all her food right then and there. Is
it safe to say that she was pigging out? McDiablo Will I pass Geography,
or was I not meant to pass courses like...that? McDiablo i'm happy there's
no more "ask SAnimal", aren't you? -Ripper why the hell is there
only one female smurf?? -Asylum could i send you
a coffee mug for xmas? -MorbidJester What is the best
way to get revenge on your jackass enemies whlie remaining anonymous?
(If you don't know can you recommend some sites that can tell
me?). cheers! My thoery.......by
*Realmo-K* Religion is cruel because it pray's on naive and inseccure
people. After all don't you think it's strange how almost all,
if not all religions basically state that if you follow this religion
you will have a peacfull after life. And it's not possible they
can be all true because they contradict each other. I also think
it's stange how thousands apon thousands of years ago all this
super-natural, freaky shit happened (example:turning water into
wine) but in recent times this stuff is un-heard of. What the
fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!! do you agree with my little theory? Nov 22/03 why people should
feed the ducks? im not bubbly wat
can i do? i've been trying
to find a copy of donnie darko somewhere ('ve been to every video/electronics
store in my town) but have been unable to find it! what should
i do? i was thinking about assuming the fetal position and crying
the next time someone says "i'm sorry, we don't carry that
movie. but feel free to look at our wide selection of other great
movies! have a nice day!". should i do that? -Asylum woohoo! would you
like a really big coffee mug so you can have lots and lots of
coffee without having to get up for refills? -MorbidJester Two girls caught
25 frogs. Lisa caught four times as many as Jen did. How many
frogs did Jen catch? If I am here without
you why are you still on my lonely mind? Dammit, solitary just
doesn't work for me. - 9-92 i have a 2 part question
for you today: 1) what is the price of the average adult human
soul on the open market these days, 2) what is the exchange rate
like these days between them and the average infant/unborn human
soul. and any advice you can give me to help me invest would be
deeply apreciated (other than buy low, sell high of course). this year for halloween
i dressed up as the crow but everyone identified me as eather
alice cooper or a wrestler named the stinger (i think, i don't
watch wresteling, and i seldom pay atttention to them). i could'nt
kill them or make them suffer, because they had not contributed
to my death or the misery i suffered in the afterlife. so my question
to you is this: what can i do next year to make sure that everyone
recognises me as the crow (so i don't have to tell them who i
am supposed to be), and how can i punish those who don't? where can i find
a good, easy to use and free (most important thing) interface
that will allow me to stab people through the internet? i need
it for... umm... stuff, and , well... i gotto go. if crows carry the
souls of the dead, then why do they always congrigate on the powerlines
in front of my house? they have been doing it for years and no
one here has died yet, i'd have thought that if they were expecting
a pasenger it would have happened by now. and if they are waiting
for me or someone i know then why are there so many of them? there
were at least 10 or 20 last time i checked, and i have seen as
many as 50 or 60. now i have no problem
with christmas in and of it's self, however it pisses me off to
no end when they start putting up the decorations before they
even start with the haloween stuff, and then leave it up after
new year. do you have any suggestions on what we the people can
do about it? it has to be pretty far reaching and wide spread.
my idea is that people can have a month before hand to set it
up, and a week afterwards to take it down (sound resonable?) but
i have no idea how to get others to do it, especially the businesses
that get so much mony by extending the season aslong as possible. who is better: bill&ted
or wayne&garth? who is cooler? who would win in a fight? what
if they had no access to any sort of help or tools or weapons
or anything? what do you think
about todays superheros such as The Tick, Earthworm Jim, and The
Ripping Friends? how do they measure up against the more classicle
super heros in you'r book? why are the neighborhood
dogs telling me to kill prostitutes? ok, we all know that
the cats are going to take over the universe, that's a given.
and we all know that they can't be stoped. my idea, however, is
to hide from them, i have the underground complex fully constructed,
it has a fully self suficient ecosystem to provide food, air and
cleen water, there are suplies and machinery in case the ecosystem
breaks down, there is enough food and water and oxygen stockpiled
to last for over 100yrs into the forseeable future, there are
geothermal setups to provide power and springs to provide new
water, there is room to grow as well as digging/construction equipment
to provide new chambers as the population increases, my word is
already law, and i have already picked most of the 500 people
and animals to join me and become the last of the free human race
(the animals will be human enough when i am through with the selective
breeding programs) as well as plans in the works to breed a superior
human that may one day be able to overcome the cats and free the
rest of humanity (which will then be genetically reengineered
to level the playing field with my superior people). my question
to you is what non-esential items we should bring. i would also
like to know if you would like to join us. if so, then you must
prove your worthyness by finding us, and prove your loyalty with
something i will think of later. but tell me now if you want in
so we can save you a seat. if there can be only
one, then what happens if it comes down to a point where there
are two left, but they can't get to or find eachother? why is it that when
you scratch in front of the base of a cat's tale the back end
go's straight up" years ago at school
myself and by two friends (billy and joel) saw this flyer which
said that this new young comedian who called himself "carrot
top" would be doing a free show later on in the week. when
we finished reading it we were all strangely compelled to reach
out and tough the flyer. as soon as we did, we flashed foreward
and saw the future. we saw what he would become. we saw his rise
to power, and we saw how everyone would have to watch him just
about everytime they turned on the tv. we saw his evil. and all
at once, the three of us understood. we decided that we had to
do something and so we put a plan into motion. when will my tea
be ready? did you know that
when the first conan movie came out a major toy company decided
to market conan action figures, but then when someone there actually
watched the movie they decided that they could not afford to be
associated with such sex and violence or to market it to kids,
so they decided to change the figure's hair to blond and changed
the name and invented heman? so i hear you are
a vegitarian, because you con't want to participate in the meat
industry. i would be interested to hear then what you think about
this info then: http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Mad_Cow.html
(scroll down) my cat farted...it
stinks what should i do? From what I could
gather, Miss Roger's Sweater had forgotten to come back to this
site. How could she do something like that? I mean, really? McDiablo What is with those
things that my preschool made us make and eat: celery sticks with
peanut butter in them and chocolate chips? I mean, do those things
really go together or did the teachers just like the sight of
kids vomiting? McDiablo My mom likes to think
that Slurpees have aided my having an upset stomach during certain
times in my life. I think she is just wanting me to not buy so
many Slurpees. What do you think? McDiablo Is it just me, or
is 95% of maths we learn at school just a complete waste of time?
(I'm pretty sure algebra was created to piss people off) I mean
seriously!!- when do we use any of the shit they teach us in every
day life? From ReAlmO-K which band do you
think is better- deftones or system of a down? If you don't like
any off them what's your favourite band(s)/genre of music? ReAlmO-K If adam and eve were
the first people on earth and they were white, how come there
are so many different races of people? (this question has bamboozled
me for years) What do you do when
one roommate has horrible taste in music, and the other went from
playing the tuba terribly to playing the trumpet even worse? Are cats really as
dumb as they seem to be? they have to be, only a moron would keep
doing the same things after they get the shit kicked out of them
for it. Harbinger I found out something
really disturbing. When you write DC the insane sock monkey backwards
you get "yeknom kcos enasni eth CD". What do you have
to say to this DC? where are my keys? DC!! they tricked
me!! they tricked me into eating meat! damn it, they tricked me!
what's going to happen now?? will i ever be forgiven? -CrucifiedAngel My parents anniversary
is soon and I can't think of a good card..any thoughts? FartMonkey Have you ever paid
for sex? If so, how much was it? and who was it with? if a unicorn offewred
to sodamise you with her horn, while a lepracaune licks your ball
sack what would you say? what's your favourite
alcohol? and would you let me lick it off you in a seductive fashion?
from Drupert (realmo-k's other personality) Do you think that
the new Prodigy album (being released shortly after new year)
will be a hit or will it be shit? i have to say the
good question award is looking really spiffy now. Dont you like
the word 'spiffy'? - SiNiSTaR here's a popular,
annoying question that gets repeated all too foten: Are You on
Friendster? - SiNiSTaR What are you supposed
to think when someone says to you, "hey, are you good at
handjobs?" I was helping some people make some crummy artsy
stuff with some hand-painting stuff and the dude asks me that
and i burst out laughing and he tells me not to get my mind out
of the gutter. sheesh - SiNiSTaR Ever played "Oddworld:
Abe's Exoddus" before? I suddenly got hooked on it and am
playing it like, constantly. Help meeeeeee - SiNiSTaR Do you like fruitcake?
I hate fruitcake. People who eat fruitcake must be really strange.
Fruitcake is almost as heavy as the oven it is baked in, goddammit!
- SiNiSTaR How many licks does
it take to win Tiki's favor? Have you ever wondered
how they make cheerios? I mean, really, what's in them? And why
are they donut shaped? Do they really have tons of cholesterol?
Is this just another krispy kreme conspiracy? -ferretchick Sometimes i wish
i had a bass, don't you? Then we could have a party where everyone
runs through the streets garroting others with their bass strings.
That'd be great...-ferretchick On my math book I
realize that it says for enjoyment and challenge. Is there some
alterior race of humans that enjoy doing math problems or is this
just their sick twisted idea of a joke? -ferretchick |
||
why
do people point to theire wrist when they ask for the time? sometimes
it makes me want to say "i know where my watch is, dumbass...where
the hell is yours?" it's like pointing to your crotch when
you ask where the bathroom is. why do they do it? are they actually
that stupid?? SilverJackal
Why
are some people such scumbags? I was waiting for the train the
other day when out of the blue this guy walks up to me and asks
if I want to suck his friend's dick. What the hell is that?! Do
my heavy winter jacket and mittens scream " inquire here
about free blow jobs? " ? I just stood there and stared at
him like an idiot till he got bored and walked away. What should
I have done?