This isn't really a question but more of an appraisal. I just found this site yesterday and I love it! Those answers are straight from the voices! Hurrah!
the same voices that tell you to pile all the paper you own into a pile and dance around it naked?? well damnit, start listening to me!

Did you hear that? The voices, they keep telling me to slap her! Should I?
yes.... how many times must i tell you??? when you do though, i will begin whispering messages in her ear to do much worse things to you

Does one really choose whom to love? - Wiki
in ways yes... in other ways no... either way, if it's free then sign me up

Why don't spleens explode when u get REAL MAD!!!
that would just be too convenient for those of that would enjoy watching/doing that sort of thing

Art class? As in pointless and with no substance? Did you ever notice how kids who really couldn't draw to save their lives used to get good grades in Art? I find that shocking. - Mzebonga
hey art takes more then spewing out useless information that you forget a week later... then again all school classes don't really count unless you luck out and get a GOOD teacher

Why doesn't someone debug the reality? (Omuletzu)
it would take too much... better to just delete and start from scratch

Did you watch the osbournes last night? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... sure i've seen them all already from getting them offline... but of course i'll still watch them on tv... especially since they're uncensored

Why is my brother such a rap freak? - Miss Roger's Sweater
to disturb and annoy you... sometimes my brother herbert likes to swing from the ceiling fans to annoy me so i turn them on higher until he is tossed out the window and into the street

homework or hours in an unconscious state? - Miss Roger's Sweater
aren't they the same thing?

how come i always get paired with the 30 somethings, when doing peer editting? - Miss Roger's Sweater
you're just so mature and everything that they figured it's good for you to deal with them

Is it bad that I ate lunch yesterday at 10 in the morning? McDiablo
not unless you were eating my lunch... which i bet you were just to get back at me for putting jello in your pillow... you have to admit... it was funny

Did I return to school to become smarter, or, like Billy Madison, did I go to prove to my daddy that I'm not a fool? McDiablo
to prove to your daddy that you're not a fool... you become smarter when you can figure out how to get that trapped couch out of the stairway and get back to more important things

The money in my bank account is disappearing! What should I do?? McDiablo
give the rest to me for safe keeping

Why do we get angry when people laugh at us for some reason, even though we know they're wrong? (Omuletzu)
it is frustrating when someone doesn't understand 'something'... so that makes people angry... and besides... other people are just robots designed by the government to generate revenue

What's the use of a sign that says: "In this office smoking is allowed every other day. Today, smoking isn't allowed!!!"? (Omuletzu)
it means no smoking ever until that sign is taken away and cast into the depths of hell

What is fear and why does it scare us so much? (Omuletzu)
fear is one of those emotions used to get higher ratings... that and the loss of control over a situation or your head... who here is afraid of pink carpet? exactly... we ALL are

Crazy weather we're having, huh? (Omuletzu)
crazy like that woman who did that thing to that tree the one time

Whats the best sex position?
the one where you do all the work and i just enjoy it

Mistress of the jock? Vista
kinda like lord of the couch

Should I get dressed and think about going to class or should I just not bother? Vista
i say get dressed... pretend you're at class and that's enough effort to count

What does it mean when you forget how to spell your name? Vista
it means it's time to start over... so just go home and rethink the whole day before you begin again

where did Mind your P's and Q's originate and what does it stand for????
it comes from somewhere... i have the answer in a book somewhere but let's face it...i haven't had enough coffee to be motivated enough to get off my ass and find the it

Who names the colours on the pencil crayons?- Junque
i do

DC, are you a sock monkey pimp? (Omuletzu)
sometimes yes... other times it's just a hobby

DC, are you often annoyed by static electricity? Do you get shocked often by common houseold items? Have you ever been shocked by water? It appears that I get shocked by touching water. This bothers me, and makes me wonder. everyone I've asked has never had this happen before. Does this mean that water doesn't like me? Please answer soon DC.--InsaneLane
static electricity and i have 'an understanding'... the walls shock me daily... water plots against me in my dreams... and i don't think the water likes any of us really insane people

What are you so busy with? (Omuletzu)
strangely enough no one sends me money so that i dont have to work... so i have to spend time doing actual work if you can believe it

what are the names of Santas reindeer
dopy, monkey2, spazland, george, alfred and cindylou

ok i know dis guy on da net and was wonderin shud i meet him or not?
sure but if you wind up dead then i can't be held responsible

did you know that Charles Mingus (famous jazz double-bassist) wrote a song called "If Bird [Charlie parker, best saxophonist ever] was a gunslinger, there'd be a lot of dead imitations"? Did you also know that he trained his cat to use the toilet, and that he hit the streets of New York with a bow and a suitcase full of arrows? He was one crazy dude - Fish
i didn't know all that but he's right

how would you like to join me in a ancient gallic game, in which we throw a 40 kg rock at each other, and the loser is the person who collapses from exhaustion and is crushed to death when the rock falls on them? Very fun, if rather consequential. - Fish
sounds delightful... sign me up

I hate the internet cache! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Do something about it, can you? (Omuletzu)
i say delete it all... reformat your machine and bury it in the backyard

Should I do my homework or find ways to prolong my 'brain break'? McDiablo
prolonging something is a useful skill... i say work on that

Did I get up too early again this morning? McDiablo
yes

Miss Roger's Sweaters' mom is always claiming that she does not hear her alarm go off in the morning, when in truth, it really does. How can she prove this to her? McDiablo
rig up an eleborate pulley system and prove her wrong...

I want to know more about Bondage and what you prefer?I'd like you dressed in Leather and be my teacher.PLEASE? :>)
you can learn all you'd like about bondage on the internet... and i prefer not having things stuck up my ass while i'm all bound up... unless i've agreed to it beforehand... i don't like leather but i'll wear pvc... and damn straight i'll teach you... now lick my boots

explain this phrase please "Could you stop trying to read my mind?Im wearing pants!!!"....im very confused and flustered by this, maybe its my stupidity or a closed narrow mind but i still cant find the sense in this, unless the persons mind is in there legs and when you wear pants your mind reading rays are block so he/she is just stating theres no use trying.Do you think that is accurate? If not what is your interpretation of this quotation.
i think it's trying to convey the feeling of everything not really mattering because some asteroid will come out of nowhere and just blast us into nothingness... and all because of the discovery channel

My voices like you. will you go out with me? - Wiki
ok but you're paying

Did you know that menstrual cramps can get so bad it feels like you're being stabbed in your lower abdomen multiple times with a knife? Can you FEEL the pain?? McDiablo
well, having been stabbed multiple times, i think i can begin to understand... oh no wait... that was a movie

I am hearing evil laughter upstairs. My brother is playing a video game and that laughter is coming from a crazed clown. What should I do? McDiablo
kill the clown... but only if you have the magic sword that you found in a red egg

Speaking of my brother, he has just discovered his hidden talent ... that being the ability to whistle. He's going a bit overboard with it ... can I smack him upside the head and tell him to lay off? McDiablo
no... just burn his lips with something and he'll stop for awhile

I think you could use a persuasion course. If your little voices that we all hear would be more persuasive, then maybe we would send you money and... darn! I don't have a question! Forgive me, please! (Omuletzu)
i'll forgive you if you send me money... send me money... .send me money.......

is going to the library for six hours on a saturday a bad thing? - Miss Roger's Sweater
depends on what section you were in the majority of the time...

yesterday at the library this guy i would say in his 40's came up to me with his son's math homework, and asked me if i could explain it to him. luckily it was just "hundreds", "tens" and "ones" but my question is.. what the hell? - Miss Roger's Sweater
well maybe it's really his homework and he decided to ask a complete stranger he'd never see again instead of someone who would explain it to him and forever mock him

whenever my brother and i leave my house my neighbour always asks my mom to come over for a meal.. is this a conspiracy for my brother and i to starve to death? or an attempt to make us feel left out? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she wants your mom as her mom so she's trying to lure her over with food... you have to cook and bake to win your mom back or it's dirty laundry forever

"Is that what you call a get away? Tell me what you got away with..." - Miss Roger's Sweater
i got away with that thing that one time that i swore i'd never tell anyone about

So,DC........Have you ever seen Austin Powers in Goldmember? I have....funny! ^^) -Ryoko
no i haven't yet... but i will

Hi its me I have been laying low for a while and will continue to do so what have you been up to? - dane
i have been up to working ... and sitting on my ass... oh and playing with my tail

What would you do if you found out that there were people talking shit about you behind your back? Vista
well i would decide they're stupid and ignore them... or confront them and tell them to shut the hell up...

Why does that story have to be so weird? Vista
it wouldn't be a story without it

Is it appropriate to call Literature homework Lit. Shit? Vista
no... it sounds more fun that way

I keep having this dream about a girl only I am a girl too does this mean I am a lesbian?
no it means you have dreams

How do I get a girl to like me?
ANY girl? well some you can pay... she can pretend to like you

What is your favorite brand of hair tonic? I don't mean most effective..I mean which one tastes the best for chugging contests? FartMonkey
hmmm... i'd have to say none... and you can't make me

I went to bed with a splitting headache and woke up with it still there, in fact it was worse than ever, i could barely walk and shit... what the fuck is wrong with me? how many aspirins do i have to take to stop it? or is it maybe because i took too many aspirins??? - SiNiSTaR
maybe you have issues with alcohol... or migranes... or sleeping on beds made of sharp glass that jab into your head causing your head to bleed all over and damnit just who the hell is going to clean that mess up?

why do people like sally exist? please tell me why?? - SiNiSTaR
well if people like sally didn't exist... then people like you wouldn't exist... or people like that guy down the street... or that chick with the dog that barks... or that kid that has that toy with that thing but i think he lost it

Why are they called goosebumps and not turkeybumps or something? - SiNiSTaR
have you seen geese? they're mean and scary... turkeys can't fly out of nowhere and peck your eyes out

How do you tell someone nicely that they have really bad BO and that it could be used as a biological weapon, it is so potent and offensive? - SiNiSTaR
leave them some 'self-help' brochures on their doorstep... or have the 'you've become an adult so now you have to wear deodorant' talk

Argh! I keep writing "depastment" instead if "department". Why??!? (Omuletzu)
your past is coming to haunt you

Can you make the crazy foaming wild cats stop meowing?plz hurry or there's gonna be road kill...~SG*
scream... and just keep on screaming until the situation has changed

What would you do if people started to type 'Dear DC,' at the beggining of each question and something like 'Love always,' or 'Sincerly,' and the person's nick name?So it would say something like "Dear DC; (enter question here);Love always,(enter nick name here)''
that would be very annoying

When i photocopied my ass it cAME OUt REAlly BIG - why? and if you don't answer, u can SPANK MY LITTLE BOTTY!!!
fax it to me

My creative writing instructor apologized to me for the comments she made on my latest assignment. How should I feel about this? McDiablo
say you want it in writing... but you should feel good that they apologized...

What is my dad going to do with the recent pylon I received? Burn it? Use it as a table leg? Make it talk again, perhaps?? McDiablo
i think he's going to paint it up and send it around the world first class

When will my friend and her dad paint their garage? McDiablo
in about a week... or else they'll leave it for months

Is it okay to just suddenly say, "Let's smoke some dope" even though you have no intention to do so? McDiablo
yes... however sometimes it doesn't go over so well during a trip with the family... especially if you haven't brought enough for everyone

I like holes but why are there holes in my swiss cheese? - Wiki
the cheese worms have eaten it away

What is the difference between a strawberry shake and Jennifer Lopez's brain?--Mistofflies
only the strawberry is real... the other is fiction

Are you sure you're a doctor?
yes... so get naked already

What scares you?
all those idiots breeding more idiots... it has got to STOP

DC, Private School sucks, I told my parents that if they agreed not to disown me. I would drop out of Private school and go to a real school. Then they could give me the tuition money. It did not work, so I decided to put glitter in the air vents. Is this a good thing?
yes... private school is very annoying

do toasters feel naked without cozies? the toilet paper? what about telephones or vibrators? how about a little crocheted cozie for my dildo? with plastic rolly eyes made in china? or for big stuff like the stove or refrigerator? if you follow the cozie continuum, doesn't the universal cozie become conscious within the timespace continuum, covering everything with yarn and quilting, interspersed by plastic demi-dollies, their puckered rumps at the pupil of curly, knit ruffles spiraling out infinitely to conceal god?--enfa.trblehh
yes

Are you a cop?
yes ... would you like to feel my beating stick?

Do you shave anything and if so what?
depends on my mood and what sort of sexual costume i'll be wearing

What's the last thing that made you cry?
well when i sat on that sharp thing and it went through my tail i cried

Would you give a us a motivational speech about why sending you money and gifts is a worthwhile hobby and possible career for those with exceptional talent for the craft?--Enfanta Te
well i mean you're just gonna blow it on something shitty anyways... so might as well give me money to keep you amused and send you strange shit that will amuse you awhile longer...

My voices want to know a few things: Y don't U eat meat/fish? if not then would you consider trying tube-steak? - Wiki
no i don't eat meat/fish... and you'd have to pay me

I don't like my professor, which should i do: start a riot or kill her?
learn on your own, show up just for tests and no big deal

He was a punk. She did ballet. What more can I say?
you could say you were gonna send me presents and money

how can i get angelia jolie porn
you email her and politely ask for it

Why is that orange highlighter so damn fascinating??? McDiablo
it's all that orange... which is actually the pink and yellow together so you're getting two in one

Have you ever answered a question within a question? McDiablo
many many times... and that once when i put a question mark in but i wasn't asking a question

Are there days when you think, "Dammit, I can't take this anymore! I hate answering questions!! Make them stop sending me questions!!!!!!" ... or have you come to accept that answering these silly questions is your destiny? McDiablo
i go into denial every once in awhile... and then i snap out of it and have to answer them all again because jcp is whipping me in a 'not fun' way and makes my bottom bleed

what ingrediants are in the birth control pill?
anti-sperm and powdery stuff

Do you believe in the free-flow of infomation? Do you think that as CD's are priced at such extorntionate rates, that peer-to-peer filesharing is a good thing? Do you believe that friends should share CD's full of mp3s between themselves? Do you know where I can get a good coffee? - Fido Dido
mostly yes... yes in many ways... i say that if you like a band and want to support them, then you buy their album to show that support... there are many bands i've gotten into by downloading a few songs... without that i wouldn't even know about them... if i truly support them and their music then i buy their albums... misery loves company is one i can think of that i've done this with... and i go to tim hortons because they put crack in the wax of the cups... when they pour in the coffee... the wax melts just a bit to release the crack... so i'm addicted

yesterday my brother's girl friend came over and stayed for about four hours... the whole time my brother was sleeping downstairs.. what the heck? - Miss Roger's Sweater
well maybe her house sucks... or she's secretly in love with you and just using your brother

do you enjoy the art of essay writing? cuz it sure doesn't enthuse me.,. - Miss Roger's Sweater
i enjoy it if i'm not being told/forced to do it

how cool are oatmeal cookies? - Miss Roger's Sweater
very cool if they aren't moldy

would you mind being a reference for me? i'm applying to become a girl guide leader.. even though i have never been involved in girl guides before.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
sure... i'll say you know how to tie knots real well... and make people think of cookies

do you enjoy cancelled classes as much as i do? - Miss Roger's Sweater
twice as much... but then again i'm not in school anymore

What is the quickest way for me to kill myself?
if you have a gun then a shot to the head should do it... if not then just rip open yourself with a knife... either way send me all your cool stuff before you do it

If somebody says they are a vegetarian, does it mean that they can't eat meat, or no meat could be in their body(besides their own meat)? Because we all know that it could get into their bodies by other means.
it means they chose not to eat meat (instead of can't) ... now some people still eat fish... some won't eat anything that has a chicken broth or any sort of meat-based product in it... some ask what type of oil is used for frying things... some people don't eat egg or dairy items either... so there are different 'levels' of being a vegetarian

Hey its great I got a job, and now I will get a pay check. Even though it will be minimum wage. Now the bad thing is I have to show up for work. Oh no I have become a member of the working class. My one true nightmare. Well at least now I can get really stoned and go to work. My question is, do you know of any way to earn mass quantitys of money with doing little to no work? (Namless)
become a porn star... or marry some rich fuck who is stupid enough to hand over all their money... it's pretty much the same job... money for sex

Oh ya, what do you do when strange people come up to you and start talking to you like they know you. Though you dont really know if they know you or not, because you stoped paying atention to almost every thing, almost all the time? (Nameless)
you make a loud noise... look startled... then run away

did you ever have sex with miss piggy?
i don't really remember...

Do you like cheese?If so what kinda cheese?Do you like holy cheese?I do.Holy cheese is yum.mmm holy cheese...........................-The Cheese Mister
yes... cheddar... no...

we had a sex ed lesson @ skool 2day, and i was wondering .....why is the sky blue? i mean why is there any point!
there is NO point to ANY of it

wat is a penis? do u have one? i think i might have one!
its that thing... you know... that THING...

wats a circumcision? do girls have them?
yes but naturally

recently i caught my (young) sock monkey flickin through the monkey porn pages onn ur internet site.... he later decided it would be fun to have a threesome with Barbie and Sindy....is there a legal age for sock monkeys or is it jus a free for all?
its a free for all

Why is our mayor such a dumbass? Vista
it's his job

Is there a reason why my dad calls 'The View' the Chicken Hour? Vista
no idea because i don't know what 'the view' is

Is the science of everyday life really THAT interesting? Vista
yes it is... now damnit sit up straight and pay attention

i will admit i've been away for some time.the men in the nice clean white suits gave me a "new" experi"mental" pills ,these were red and green, after that everything was happy some how.happy but dull, they robed me of my imagination, i mean sure the neon red and green trials every thing had looked nice but not enough to entertain me life boering and uninsane so i escaped again and now im baerly geting better so my question is why do the guys in white suits want to make people happy by ripping them apart from the world they love? never agian i say "i " am happy now. db"_" p.s. im back.
welcome back... the guys in white suits are actually mice dressed up as men in white suits and they are running experiments on us all

What inspired you to write nurse on acid? Its a funny story, and I would say you have done a wonderfull job at keeping me and all the other insane people occupied. (Nameless)
why thank you and i was inspired by a nurse friend of mine who was once on acid

Why do some people like to peirce thier croch ?
some people like that

Why cant Mr.Fork and Ms.Electrical Outlet be freinds ?
they can but it will be a short relationship

If an old lady knocks on your door and asks if you have found jesus what do you do ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
say yes and that you returned him last week

How do i milk a bag of doritos ?
quickly

What is the meaning of exsistance ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
whatever you make it

If a Llama asks for directions to canada how do i aply aloe to his sugar coated muse ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
carefully and calmly

If superdog Bites me on the head do i get super powers ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
no just a massive headache and fleas

Why cant people lick thier elbows ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
some people can... and if you can't then get someone else to

Would your sock monkey give me head for $20 ? -VileWeaselSqueezer
yes

Is it so wrong to play a video game when one must blow up cars and kill pedestrians in order to reach the next level? McDiablo
no... those games are fun... especially grand theft auto 3

You wanna buy a sundial? McDiablo
no i can make my own

What's your guilty pleasure? McDiablo
no idea... i don't feel guilt about any of my pleasures... yet

how long does it take gum to go stale and crunchy? i hate it when you get all excited at the store to get a good pack of gum and then you go home and unwrap it and shove it into your mouth and it snaps and loses flavor really fast.
get better gum...

what's with these people sending in 'questions' that are really lyrics to some stupid avril lavigne songs? - SiNiSTaR
they are annoying and since i don't always know the dumbass songs they're from i end up answering them

why does my table fan makes that meowing sound? - SiNiSTaR
it's not fastened down properly and one of the blades is touching the edge

what does it mean when i have a sharp pain in my right side, i can't walk properly and i feel nauseous constantly? - SiNiSTaR
it means there may be rain on its way

i typed three different questions and deleted them all before submitting this one... what do you think of that? - SiNiSTaR
i think you're just too bad-ass for me... oh no wait... no you're not

how long does extacy stay il your urine
i wouldn't know i don't ingest that shit

why is a girl a "slut" if she hooks up with a lot of guys, and a guy is "player" or "pimp" if he hooks up with a bunch of girls?
it's called a 'double-standard' which means that people fucking suck so they do shit like that

if i gave my dog 6 hits of acid and got him to come with me on a road trip to the swimmin pool and hooked him up with a cat in the pool, wut do u think they'd do? -UnCy CiD
i think i'd hunt you down and kick your ass for giving your dog acid

How do you eat cheese?I need help.I keep missing my mouth!- The Cheese Mister
first... put down the cheese... now move just your head to it... that's it... eat it off the floor...

If the meek inherit the earth will the strong take it back off them?- The Cheese Mister
lets face it... when the meek inherit the earth that means that everyone else is dead... and they'll be so meek no one will take control and then the earth will fall into the sun and end this stupidity

I,m asking again ! Do you know what ( antidisestablishmentarianism ) means ? Ken
yes i do and i'm not a dictionary so look it up your damned self if YOU don't know what it is

why shud school start later
it shouldn't... if anything it should start earlier so the damn parents will be off the streets by the time i go to work

where is betovens music
over there to the left

So Sinistar wonders why I exsist? (I bet you knew this was coming) Another person who doesn't like me, he can just be added to the list. Oh and and maybe his cat farts on purpose because as you know I have an excellent relationship with the cats. They do what I ask what can I say...... I didn't know what to get you so I didn't get you anything from my trip so its your fault you didn't say what you wanted. Hows Life? Your friend Sally
yes the cats are quite happy with you... and life keeps coming at me over and over and i think it just might not stop... even the loud angry won't scare it away

What do you think of my nasally voice? McDiablo
kind of annoying... but not annoying enough... work on it

My mom and sister are giggling upstairs ... uhh, what the heck is going on up there? McDiablo
they're hiding the mess they made before anyone finds out

Why does pie have to be so dirty? McDiablo
it's the filling... if it weren't for that then it'd be ok... well the shell is dirty too... so without them it's fine

I would become a porn star, I have even made several home videos. ( I left the cammera on while some chick gave me head.) They are not very good videos. ( I swore the camera was turned off.) The thing is my cock has about a 10 degree angle to the left.Not only that, I only measure about 6 and 3/4 inches. Average right? Its too bad I am cursed with an average cock, or I would be in porn. Oh ya I dont watch to much porn how about you? (Namless.)
hey you can sell ANYTHING online... and i don't measure dicks for a living so i don't really know the average... and no i don't watch as much porn as i used to

It's 7:55am ... why am I up? Vista
there is a 7:55AM???

Are bananas REALLY in banana bread? Vista
sometimes... other times its just an elaborate ploy

I woke up this morning and my feet were cold, so I put on some socks. Did I do the right thing? Vista
many would say no... but i completely support your decision and did the same thing myself this morning

Do you believe it's not butter? Vista
yes

how come its raining out?really tell me the weather patterns and the cycle please...i forgots.
well first there will be some okay weather... then things will suck for a bit... then be okay again for awhile... and then that weird weather will hit and then you'll be confused again

Have you ever been touched in private areas by a strnger with a glove ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
what if they have a 'hello my name is' sticker on... does that count as a stranger?

how do i take a hicky off my neck
use the vacuum to just suck them off

Could i have permission to shave your goat please? -VileWeaselSqueezer
you have to ask the goat

Why do i get enjoyment out of this lovly webstite? - VileWeaselSqueezer
you're sick and twisted... so you're welcome back at any time

If the imperial order decides to blow up earth what happens to all the sockmonkeys ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
they leave with the dolphins before the earth is blown up

If i decide to peirce my self in 37 different places , shave my head , die my scalp purple , wear pants that fall off my ass , a shirt that says disturbing things, no underoos, white and black make up all over my body , tatoos that cover most of my body , and stop bathing will people start notcing me ? Or should i just worship the devil and shoot 666 people including myself ?
the first bit will just make you blend in with the rest of them... the devil doesn't exist... but the shooting of 666 people will get you noticed... just make sure you hit those people who blast the bass in their cars

What would you do for a clondike bar ? - VileWeaselSqueezer
nothing... just give it to me

Who ever thought of drinking milk from a cow. Did some insane fuck just go up and say Hey im thirsty as all hell so i think i will squeez the things on this fat digusting smelly thing and drink what ever comes out of it. Is that what happened or do you have a beter theroy ? - Vile Weasel Squeezer
probably the same person who decided to eat the egg that came out of a chickens ass

Do the voices inside my head bother you ? - Vile Weasel squeezer
no... unless they start arguing with the voices in my head

I like to do my homework in pitch black dark and i turn disturbing punk rock music on as loud as i possibly can.... Is that normal for a 14 yearold?
well you might want to invest in a desk lamp... but other then that i see no problem

Is it true that some people like to watch other people have sex ? wwhy is this ?
yes... and i don't know... but it sure is better then those people who like FEET... that's just sick

I wana know...... Are sock monkeys immortal gods or are you just a sad 50 year old man masturbating to theese question thnking of our long hot lucious cocks
no to both...

Have you ever had sexual intercourse with a large turtle? If not how bout a fuzzy rabit? A rodent ? Or do you like to masturbate as oftenly as you can?
no... not yet... no... and of course

Do pintobeans kill germs ? - Vile Weasel Squeezer
only if you ask them nicely

Can I have some of your blood?i'll do anything for it~SG*
anything? anything at all?

I have a "protien" stain on my pants from masturbating during class.... how would one remove such a substance from their undergarments?
a mix of glue, water and flour

Ok, so I'm walking through the crowd when some guy approaches me and... he acts like he knows me, we shake hands, he asks me how I've been and stuff... really friendly. But then he starts telling me that he is in big trouble, his brother is in the hospital and stuff and he needs money. That's when I tell him "bye" and leave, so he starts yelling profanity at me. I laugh at him, but I'm faking cause I feel mad... why does he have to curse and say nasty things to me because I don't want to give him money? Maybe I don't have any... (Omuletzu)
next time bitch slap him and run away crying...

A while ago I wrote a behemoth question that bothered you and you didn't answer. Here's the essence! You can answer with yes, no... but please answer!"Am I responsible for all the corruption in this country? Can I change anything? Will I ever make a difference? Will I ever do what I like? Will I live forever, or die poor and sick and with no friends? I just wanna know, but I don't trust the crystal ball! Don't use that shitty trick on me! Just tell me I'm a pathetic loser and it'll never get better... or tell me how to make it better." (Omuletzu)
partly... yes... a small one... if you don't give up... die with no friends... you make it better yourself

There are so many beggars of all ages in this country. I hear that some are even organised, have a leader who gets all the money and takes care of them, or beats them if they don't bring enough money (this applies especially to children). Others beg so they can buy booze. Only some really use the money for food or clothes. Some fake injuries... So, my question is: if I'm to give money to a beggar, how do I choose him? How do I know he really needs my money? And another thing: it bothers me to see a beggar in front of a big supermarket - you can't get in or out without hearing them - yesterday an old woman said something about kissing my hand and stuff (Eww!)... and they all use God in their texts... (Omuletzu)
ask them what they will use it for... if they say food then buy them dinner or some food... ask them how to classify who should get it or not since they'd probably know better then i would...

Something I read last night - might be fiction, but then again... It was during the communist period, when people had to give up all theyr valuables unles they wanted to go to jail and maybe never return. "Give up all your gold and we won't arrest you!" So a guy came to the police and said: "This is my gold, 20 pieces." The policemen counted it and said: "Wait! There's only 19 pieces here... maybe you lost one at home or something, go and look for it." And the man went home and came with another piece of gold. "Aha! There wasn't any piece missing - you brought 20! This means you still have gold at home!!", said the policeman as he arrested him... I don't know what to think of this. The man with the gold whould have been more careful? Was the policeman too smart? Who was right and who was wrong? (Omuletzu)
well if the man had borrowed it from someone instead of arguing with the cops then the cop is wrong... but all in all... the communists didn't exactly have it right anyways

what do you think about getting involved with someone at work? and where do you think is the best place in the office to have wild passionate yet very discreet sex? btw, theinsanedomain kicks ass and i think dc should be president and he should get his tail stroked everyday.- marissa
i think as long as the people doing that think then its ok... in your office with a closed door... and having my tail stroked every day would be something i'd enjoy enough to overlook the annoyingness of being president

when will anyone bring a new jimmy story to this hell hole of a site, when i say "hell hole" i say it with a smile on my face and a hand in my pocket. anyways i want more jimmy stories.you can take this as a demand, request, or a come on. whatever gets the ball moving and a new jimmy story on this site.do you feel like the dali lama? i mean some people go to great leangths to find this site (or find it searching for porn site) and then they ask you a question that bearly intrest you and they expect the answer to change their life. do you like peanut butter sandwiches?--db"_"
well we haven't thought much about jimmy lately... but since you've brought it up i'll make note of it and see if any more are kicking around... i have no idea how people find this site when they're searching... but if my sock monkey porn brings them in... then that means more people are seeing my ass and that's just great... and yes i do like peanut butter sandwiches

why is the mailman on Mr.Roger's Neighbourhood named Mr. McFeely? is he a pediphile? - Miss Roger's Sweater
it's because he's feeling himself under the mailbag

is downloading tunes from 1995 as bad as it sounds? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not really... and if it's faith no more then i'll let you touch my tail for free

why must the girls who sit in front of me in creative writing class always write about sex no matter what we're suppose to be writing about.. - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are stupid and have nothing better to think about...

why am i so frickin' tired? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i think it's that whole 7am thing you had mentioned

if you had a duck what would you call him
harold and then we'd swim and swim and swim

I dont see the problem with devil worship
well to believe in a devil you have to believe in god... for me, that is a problem

i will send you money if you give me a good question award for this...
give me the money first

DemonChild..... Are you bi?
sometimes yes but being bi-polar isn't always as difficult as it sounds

Why do some people choose to live thier lifes like a normal person ? i think that freaks should be considered normal dont you ?
normal is one of those words that has lost meaning... people should live their lives as they want to a certain degree... if there were less humans, then more could enjoy their lives

Should i get an element skateboard or a blind ?
skateboard

I'm not fooled by the attempt to look like you've been working hard on the site by rearranging the front page. I wasn't going to ask this at all and I have never complained before but, where the hell are the answers to August's what ifs and questionare? I can appreciate bold laziness but, your half-assed distraction from the fact of your laziness is an insult.Just admit that sometimes when you come home from work you would rather spend the evening drinking or masturbating than amusing and abusing the mentally ill.
i had completely forgotten... they are now up... and the ones from sept will be done this weekend

why would anyone answer the question: "what's up?" with "the sky"? it's just so gay. that's it -Spukny
bitch slap them ... and don't teach them to say 'the oppisite of down'

I got a 7 week old kitten yesterday. How cool is that? (Her name is Pepper) McDiablo
very cool... welcome to the ranks of the cats

When will the coughing fits go away? When....WHEN!!???!! McDiablo
never... well ok when you die

If bologna is cut in a different way, is it still bologna? McDiablo
it is never what it appears to be even when sliced a million different ways

Miss Roger's Sweater and I have WAY too much fun in our Psychology class. Should we just shut up and start learning? McDiablo
no just quiet down and learn a bit... just enough to understand why people are so screwed and how to get money out of them

my brother is on a cleaning spree.. should i pack my bags and run for the hills? - Miss Roger's Sweater
hell no... set out laundry for him... get him to clean the bathroom... clean your room out for you

in the prairies they don't really have hills.. so where do they run to? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they just run and run and run until they collapse in the fields

Am i gonna do well on my essay on George Orwell's "shooting an elephant"? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... unless you count that whole bit about the shoes

is it ok to go get a slurpee if a class gets out early? what if it's not your class? - Miss Roger's Sweater
sure it is... and even better

my cowlicks in my hair are doing funky things, does it look like i have devil horns? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes they do... i say keep them

ok i got a GOOD ass question!!!!!!!! ok if your sooo fukkin smart and know everything what is my GIRLFREINDS name??? huh??? what is it??? i'll tel u my name and u can fingure hers out. my name is Glenn. hahahahahah good luck buh bye
as if you have a girlfriend

would you like to taste some decongestion nasal spray?..id made it alll by myself!well..with a little help from my goat but all he did was make the bottle..i did the rest!taste!!!
i refuse! i resist! you can't make me!

I like cows dont you ?
i like them when they are standing away from me and not shitting on my feet or putting themselves in my food

Do good boys realy deserve fudge ?
of course... how else will you learn?

once a curtius bus driver told me to go fuck myself what do i do
do what the driver says

i love you will you fuck me
no you don't but sure

if a dog humps my leg sould i hump him back? (ieatcrayons)
no... just let him do his thing

when will i come to terms with my father
in a few years

when you're talking to yourself, is there anyone home?
a whole bunch of them... but i think they're all out at some party without me right now

Yes I would do anything.How can i get it?~SG*
send me money... send me cds and dvds that i want... and then i'll send it to you

is is weird that i buy milk at 10pm? - Miss Roger's Sweater
what is weird is that no radio station ever plays the music i like or talks about interesting shit... so i say that i am given my own radio show so i can hear what i want

is it weird that we were talking about eating babies in english class tonight? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no it's a valid topic

i'm house sitting for Sistah B this weekend.. should i have a wild college party, or just watch SNL with the dog? - Miss Roger's Sweater
wild college parties are annoying so i say sit with the dog and just trash the place yourself

so there i was all in the dark, what is this stuff i keep touching around me? - Wiki -
dead bodies, dust, lavalamps, rocks, cars, speakers, pills, plastic bags, furniture, cat litter, marilyn mansons boot collection, light bulbs, broken cameras, plastic bins, candles, pillows, violent mice, paper

DC I started my Job, It really sucks. This is one of those times when I feel like puting glitter in the air conditioning unit so it rains glitter all over the entier store. I really want to do this a buissy thime so it causes mass panic. Hopefully my boss will be killed in the panic, by some deranged mother with a shoping cart. Sounds like fun. What do you think. ( Namless.)
i say do it and tell me how it goes... take pictures too

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, what if i were to dance the hula in blue bosy paint?
i'd clap along

Oh ya, I was talking to a mouse and it turns out that the whole cat taking over the world thing was just a front. Really The mice are performing strange experiments on some cats and brainwashing the rest to do their biding. The cats behavior when trying to kill me was due to an experimental drug they like to call Cat-nip X. When admisterd It has some of the imediate efects of cat-nip. Prolonged use causes the cats hunter instincts to increas. Not to mention their ability to reason and plan is alterd to make them almost perfect killers. The only way to stop them is to clap your hands 3 times and say, "Se va?" They were french mice. At least I feel safe for now. How about You? (Nameless)
i feel like there are so many horrible things going on wrong around me but as long as i've got a computer then i can send them letters telling them how stupid they all are

my mom just asked me if i made any new friends at school.. why the heck did she just ask me that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
she wants to make sure you haven't found some freak friend who is telling you that the only true way is through shaving your head and handing out pictures of broken lamps

Do you like Goulash? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i don't think so

What's the secret of success? What's the price of success? What is success anyway?Do we need success and if we do, why? (Omuletzu)
success is one of those things that is hard to define so i'll answer with a bird call <insert bird call here> and a reference to mike patton and tomahawk 'the cats in the bag and the bag's in the river'

My kitty, Pepper, is sleeping on my lap...but I want to have a shower. Hmm, what to do...what to DO? McDiablo
you sit there and damn well wait for pepper to tell you when you can shower

How cool is it that there is kitty litter that smells like cloves? I mean, I hate the smell of cloves, but how cool is that? McDiablo
there is? send me some

When my mom sees holes in socks, she says they are religious socks "because they are very holey/holy." Good grief, can you make it stop!? McDiablo
put duct tape over the holes in your socks and on your moms mouth

how many holes are in this cracker?
there is no cracker... it just wants you believe there is a cracker

Why are cabbage patch kids so dang ugly? Are they supposed to look like cabbage? If so, what kind of person(besides someone who was been blind since birth) would want to waste their good money and shiny objects that could be donated to you on a little piece of plastic shaped like a butt-ugly doll? FartMonkey
the head of a cabbage patch kid is on the top of a lamp in my parents backyard... patrick isn't shiny anymore

why do dumb ass's have sex it just pisses us normel......i mean fucking insaine peaople off i mean they do it and then have a kid then the kid gets the shitless brain the parents had and so forth i mean at least give the dumb ass a condum and show him the directions and since the dumb ass cant read you of course have to read it to him you now what the fuck im saying ~IeAtCrAyOnS~
EXACTLY ... it should be way harder to breed... i mean seriously... they aren't smart enough to figure out a condom but it's ok for them to breed? its horrible out there... all the smart people aren't having kids cuz they don't want the dumbasses with their dumb kids screwing everything up

one time i was sitting at the brakfast tabel and i just looked at this donut....., and it just didnt do any thing (same as me right) so i got quite disturbed and blerted out at the donut scouldingly you mock me fucking donut, your nothing but a fried syclops....... now i fell bad do you think i did the right thing sincerly ~IeAtCrAyOnS~
i think you should say sorry unless it's one of those maple covered donuts.. they're bastards

I think my friend Miguel is from another planet, he has never seen "batteries not included". Could I be wrong?
i say you show it to him and if he acts strange then tear off his arms

What kind of freak do you think I am? FartMonkey
one of those fartmonkey types.. you know how i mean... all farty... and monkey-like

Did you have anything to do with the whole mailing people anthrax thing? FartMonkey
no i'd be out putting stuff in the water that makes everyone sterile

Can you tell me the difference between the words 'thing' and 'thang'? I know they're used the same, but differently somehow, and I want to know what it is.FartMonkey
dumbasses use thang... everyone else uses thing

How many kinds of cheeses are there? FartMonkey
so many i've seen a poster filled with them all

Is ther some official classification system for feces? Excluding sanimal, I mean? FartMonkey
there probably is... humans attempt to understand the world by naming everything and then trying to eat/kill/destroy/sell/fuck it... so i'm sure there is a database out there with all the names

What if I don't want to ask you another question? Huh? What you gonna do? You gonna call the police? Oooh I'm so scared cause I didn't ask a question and you.......what was I talking about?
i am going to make you hang out with the bitch that is always screaming at her son

Where exactly is the land of lollipops and gumdrops? Vista
i'm not telling you... and you can't make me

2B pencils ... they confuse me. Why? Well, why the heck is there a letter B there? Is there a point in having the B there .. or is it just decoration? Vista
there is a meaning for it... and if you search real hard you will find the answer and say 'oh.'

Just a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down? Vista
i tried that and it didn't help at all... so now they usually include it in the medicine

Why do I feel like I've gained a hundred pounds after consuming some fetuccine alfredo? Vista
you consumed a hundred pounds of it... when you puke it all out you'll be fine

I told the "banana boat, schmanana boat" and they told me that if I didn't correct my attitude they'd beat my face in and knock my teeth out. I said that was fine because I have really bad tooth ache and don't like dentists and they said "okay, hold still, sissy boy". I said: "Hang on, who are you calling sissy boy, Mr Clooney - I've seen that video of you in drag". He broke my nose and I still have to go to the dentist. Should I exact retribution? - Mzebonga
yes you should... i say bitch slap him (when isn't a bitch slap the answer?) and then rearrange all his furniture and delete his appointments out of his palmpilot... that will show the bastard

If the meek inherit the earth will the strong take it bak off them? - The cheese mister
maybe but i'm not telling you because you would get bored and leave

Do you like cheese?Or bananas?Or maeby just plain old socks? - The Cheese Mister (loves you)
yes and yes and sometimes but not when they're stiff from sweat

Simpsons or Futurama? - Fido Dido
usually the simpsons but i've seen almost all of them and so i watch futurama now

When will my mom get dressed? McDiablo
only after you are sufficiently embarrassed

My 13 year old brother is going to a paintball place today. My dad had to sign a waiver form and give a phone number in case he gets hurt/killed. Should I be concerned for his safety? McDiablo
no... that's what the waiver is for... that makes it so no one has to worry

What would happen if I drank a mocha frappacinno and then, a few hours/minutes later, bought and drank a Slurpee? I'm thinking about trying this one day. McDiablo
i say do it... ignore those who may say it can't be done... but it can

Why do people sue other people for their stupid ass bad decisions? which method would you chose to kill these people?
its easier to figure out a way to LEAVE the planet

can I put a sardine on your head?-syko morgana
hell no

when you eat tuna does your cat crawl on your back and try to get some of it? and dont say to me"I dont eat tuna" you know very well you love tuna and you eat it all the time, so c'mon tell me, does your cat crawl on your back when you eat tuna?--syko morgana
no i don't eat tuna but i do buy it for her because she likes it... she meows and meows and demands i feed it all to her at that moment and then threatens me with her paws of fury

Do you believe in the idea of concentration camps for stupid people? Can I be a guard there?
well i don't think they deserve to die painfully... well ok maybe i do... and yes you can

will you fetch me a crocodile hunter?
hell no

Kissing...Why is it so over-ratted? Am I the only one who just thinks "to hell with the saliva slopping lets just get to the sex" and what should we do with the little fucks who like to dry hump each other in public?
i say we bitch slap them... and i am not one for excessive kissing or fondling in public... kissing is for highschoolers and those who have nothing to say

instinctively, i think of ways to protect myself from the ignorance that propagates itself around me. it flourishes on human inadequacy to form independent, intelligent thought, it thrives on our not having to extend ourselves beyond the commercially aesthetic, empty, useless, mindless drivel we take in each day. but i am not immune.as i type this, i'm searching Yahoo for pictures of gavin rossdale oh the humiliation...
i'm searching for the question in that... nope... no questions

Since it has become so much simpler for stupid people to breed, are employers going to lower their expectations and school systems lower their curriculum to keep up with the demand?
of course... maybe a few wars to thin the masses a bit

is it wrong that i am going to go on a flashcard run? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not wrong... just one of those things

aren't mini cupcakes a great invention? - Miss Roger's Sweater
of course... send me some now

van + slurpee = way too much fun? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i don't like the van part

Did you not know that when i asked why people like Sally exist, i meant the Sally that works at my college who is such a cunthead? Not the Sally on this Ask DC page? - SiNiSTaR
i had assumed nothing... just a random sally until the sally i do know posted on here... and now she knows it wasn't directed at her... how about you both send me presents now?

Anyway, could you go to Sally's house and hump her leg for me as a way of apologizing for the mixup? thanks - SiNiSTaR
no... she hates it when i do that... makes her shoes dirty

Actually what the hell is gluten and why am i so concerned about having a gluten-free breakfast?? - SiNiSTaR
no idea... it must be one of those crazy things only you and your mom get

Did you know that it takes two stop,drop,rolls to fall of a queen sized bed?My sister found out a rather painful way...-Skittles
well now that we all know, we can do it for ourselves to see if that's true

Hey DC. I figured out how you could cause the demise of all those stupid people. All you have to do is remove the warning labels from any thing that has warning labels. In a matter of weaks most of the moron population will be destroyed, and then their will only be the insane. I like this idea because I don't like to kill people and its alot more fun to watch them stumble around dieing frome drinking random cleaners because the bottle was pretty. He He He. (Nameless)
no one reads them now... so it won't change anything besides the lawsuits

You think you're so smart!?... (Omuletzu)
yes

So what's the word in your hood? McDiablo
the word is 'issue'

Should I give the Queen of England a bouquet of flowers or a bottle of beer? McDiablo
neither... just send ME money

sunflower fleet, shall make darkness meet. So the sun shine for time will always come but not for the warmth cus it is its being as so we are burning and a hiding sun still hasnt done its meaning as so will us, if we hide.<<<-----I need a judge for this poem and guess who im asking?
i don't like the word sun

Last night I was at the Pub with a large number of friends. A certain individual who gets more than a little homosexual when he's drunk grabbed my ass. I left the dance floor and stayed away from him thereafter. Later, however, he claimed that I had a fat ass. A discussion ensued which involved numerous women etc... And the conclusion was that my ass was "alright but they'd seen better". My ass used to be my best feature. Women loved me for my ass. Do you think my ass needs to be toned up? Have I been eating too many fatty foods? - Mzebonga
yes... but only a little bit... they just want to see that stunning ass of yours again so be glad for that

Why is it that mayonnaise packets are so much bigger then ketchup and mustard packets...
to make you feel like you're spoiled

We're all fucked. It helps to remeber that doesnt it ?
yes it does

I have totaly had it with all theese geeky fucks with walkmen. WHat are theese jack offs telling us ? there too good to participate in daily life ? Theyre sealing themselfs off? Big fuckin' loss. An what is it that theyre listening to that is so compelling ? i think a person has to be fairly uncomfortable with his thoughts to have the need to block them out while simply walking around. Id love to know how many of theese obviously disturbed people become suicides.. wouldnt you ?
who cares if they do that... at least we don't have to talk to them or have them eavesdrop on us

Most people are not particularly good at anything. Wouldnt you agree ?
yes sadly

Is it possible to explain hitler to a kid ?
yes but not a really young kid

Do kings have sweatbands on there crowns ?
only the smart ones

what is the plural of hell of a guy ? Hells of guys ?
bastards

Where do dentists go when they leavce you alone ?
they go home and live out normal lives

If you go to a bone bank why cant you make a calcium deposit ?
i can... why can't you? are you defective?

How did primative people know they where doing the dances corectly ?
yes of course they did... if not then BAD things would happen

If you get cheated by the better buisness bureau, who do you complain to ?
everyone

isnt no comment a comment ?
yes but not really

What rhymes with nostrill ? how about arange ?how about lemons ?
how about i slap you until it all rhymes

is there anyway a nice, fine unproductive citizen like myself be able to contribute my brain to "the insane domain" in the form of 1.a story 2.a poem 3.a ranting or 4.brain jelly (brain jelly sells for a lot on the black market)? i feel this way because my brain has taken so much from this site it just wants to give back a little.--db"_" all hail the insane domain!
well at some point within the next 20 years my.theinsanedomain.com will be put up and you can contribute all you want... we ARE working on it...

Ok killing stupid people is to easy. How about killing any one that hates people for no good reason. Like those people who hate the people that walk around with cd-players. They have no real reason to hate these people. They all should be strangled with the head phone cords. Any way, us people with cd-players are disturbed but thats ok the rest of them are normal. And Normal is an excuse for boring. So I would rather listen to music then their mindless drivle. ( Just so its a question, what do you think?)-(Nameless)
i think that patton should send me free cds and that other people should send me free stuff that i would like

If you saw an old man, wearing a suit and carring a cane, fall while trying to get onto a bus, would you warn the driver that the old man was under the wheels before the doors close, or would you just stand there and watch. -Viqueta
it all depends on who the old man is and if i like him... and if i haven't had my coffee then it's everyone for themselves and i say nothing

why is my brother a frickin' playa? -Miss Roger's Sweater
its his socks... they make him feel like a big man

do you believe in monogamy? or mamography? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i believe that things have gotten out of control

i forgot to take my allergy pill today.. i haven't forgotten for years.. why was today different? - Miss Roger's Sweater
not every day can be the same... change is natural

i need a drink don't i? - Miss Roger's Sweater
twice

Ok, If sheep dont exsist what are those wooly,bleating freaks in my garden then??- The Cheese Mister
shrubs... wolly shrubs

If I die tomorow, what should I do?Oh and if I see Britney Spears should I kill her?-The Cheese Mister
you'll die... and yes

How's the Insane Snail mail thing going? Vista
ok but we keep forgetting to update the page... so send us money

What is the weirdest food you've ever eaten? Vista
the petals off a rose

Is it all right for one to get overexcited about a Fred Penner tune? Vista
no

surrealism or impressionism? mind or body? yes or no? - Fido Dido
i've already said yes twice but no one listened

How can you put up with all the crap questions that people ask you? DZ
sometimes i can't so my cat answers them...

is global warming a reality or is it simply a conspiracy made up by suncream companies to encourrage us to buy more suncream? Also if the world is getting warmer why has England been left out of this phenomenon and how can we join? And if acid rain is really acidic should i stay indoors?
it's both plus the whole 'lava lamp' thing... and the rest is just lies

Okay. Scenario. Guy walks into a store, buys a carton of eggs. Guy walks out, gets hit by a car, and promptly dies. Eggs go flying into the air. Now, what's the percentage ratio of the eggs hitting the windshield? Please show your work, I need this done for my homework.
i'd say it's 50/50 cuz that's just the way it is

is this website a complete waste of space, time, money ect.? also how long have you considered yourself a stupid dyke whore? does your mom have a penis in her mouth?(i bet your going to ask her just to make sure)
no... a few days now... and no

Why do some enjoy so much making jokes about some other people's passions? (Omuletzu)
it's my passion

um...Well i'm skittles sis and my other sis did the stop drop roll thingy..and just ta letcha know...since ur a sock monkey it'll probably take you 5-10 stop drop rolls...ok..^_^~SG*
ok

Why do cats have such scratchy tongues? I mean, my last cat didn't have such a scratchy tongue, but this one ... you can't tell if it's her claws or her tongue! McDiablo
trim her claws and then you'll be able to tell the difference

Will our kitty hate us for taking her to the vet for her first shot? McDiablo
yes but not for long

Why are literature teachers such dorks? McDiablo
it's their job

OH the horror ! The FUNKY horror ! When will it all stop ?
tomorrow... or maybe the day after

Want to go out?
ok where?

If I see my ex-boyfriend (whom I just broke up with) with another girl, should I kick her ass or act like I don't care?
act like you don't care and then stop caring

What made you decide to make the website all pretty (admires the red scoll bar)? McDiablo
jcp did it actually...

My kitty keeps passing out. Should we just blame this on the flu shot? McDiablo
for now yes

Miss Roger's Sweaters' mom isn't home yet ... and she needs the car to get to school. Will she hyperventilate and die before her mom gets home? McDiablo
yes but she'll recover to repeat the process again next week

My cat just jumped in the air, hit the keyboard drawer thingy and flew off my lap ... what the hell caused that??? McDiablo
cats do that... they just 'suddenly' need to spaz out

Discrimination - you can rate our questions, but we cant' rate your answers! What's your excuse? (Omuletzu)
well this is my own section on this site... so you are powerless

Are you a cheap person? (Omuletzu)
no i'm a cheap sock monkey

If I were to agree to give you money, what was the smallest sum you would take and not feel offended? (Omuletzu)
five dollars

Ok so if Im gonna die I wanna know this, Are Atomic Kitten(the pop band)really women or are they cats?I need 2 know.By they way my bleating wooly shrubs are doing ok! - The Cheese Mister
a little bit of both

Do you find some ladies on TV to be ... er, hyperactive? Vista
yes... in most cases they are acting but make other women think that it's how they should behave too

Who knew cliches could be so fun? Vista
they're not

What is life? Who made God?
living... humans developed the idea of god

Do you speak any languages besides english? FartMonkey
no sadly enough... i would like to though

I would send you all my money and posessions if I had any but I don't own anything...what do I do if I have nothing that I can send you? FartMonkey
steal from others and send to me

I say screw everything and get dentures. Do you agree?STRAF
yea but then its just one more thing to lose in the mornings

What's so great about the circle of life? I say fuck the circles and let's have more triangles. STRAF
i say remove the humans and it all works fine

OW SHIT! I have a zit in my ear can sock monkeys do a ceremonial dance to cure my ouchies ?
they can but it won't help you

What should i call my band ?
we have a list for that

Is all of the people of the sock monkey race as smart as you are ? Are sockmonkeys suposed to know everything ?
most but not all... and we don't know EVERYTHING... just the stuff that matters

COuld people send me money ? i like sexual favors too.....
no you're not a sock monkey

I scream HAIRY ELEPHANTS in my sleep.... Is there somthing you can do about that ?
it's better then 'cobras!'....

Is my question realy more pathetic that your answers ? It ills me to push your button...... I wince at even the thought of it....
press it ... go on... all the cool kids are doing it...

Am i the only one here who shops at hot topic? Im an insane freak/goth/punk... Whats your scene DC?
hot topic? and i don't have little titles to describe my scene... i'm me and thats insane enough

If i had a tub of spam would i use it to free man kind ?
yes but there is no way you'll find a tub

I walked into a shop today and this guy shoved a long thin needle through my eyebrow and my lip. This caused me great amounts of extreme pain. Then another guy sits me down in this chair , puts a towel in my mouth , Tells me to chew, And pokes an ink covered needle through my arm many many many times. Soon after that i left the shop and walked out side. People looked at me funny, Not like before. Devil worshipers try to converese with me, old people give me the finger, I make babys cry, and people try to act as if they are not staring at me . Who are those people with the pointy objects? Why are people behaving differently around me? This is different what is happening ?
i had that happen to my eyebrow too... i would just say go with it until you can't pay them anymore

Feed on youre nothing because you will never live up to me ! Do you think that your better than me !? HAH you will never be anything but a toaster YES the toAsteR.
moving on...

Do you think they teach you how to make slip knots in the boy scouts ?
yes i think they do... how else would they tie the boys down?

Boys are stupid. I throw rocks at them. Are you a transexual sockmonkey DC ?
no i'm not

Have you ever seen a monkey try to fuck a football?
yes actually

What if this was all just one big stupid dream? None of you realy exist I am dreaming. I can do whatever I want my mind makes up the penaltys for my behavior and seeing that I lack morals, I like this philosiphy. It is far better thain existentialisim. That would really suck that the smallest thing some one dose could affect my life. It would make me want to kill every one. Oh Ya, What do you think? - (Nameless)
no YOU are the dream... all of you are...

So today i wake upfrom my small concrEEt bedroom.As I lie down the big tall guy unties me from my bed. I feel kind of cheerfull this mornig as the the two big men hold my arms behind my back and escort me to the dining room. I get into my tight white warm jacket and they sit me down. I eat apple sauce from a straw while jimmy trys to slash his wrist with his plastic spoon. Silly Jimmy The large men pull out their shockie ouchie no no toy and make jimmy fall and drool allll over the floor. I calmy suck my sauce ( Which was REALY good for once) and i finish. The big men in white take me to the cushy room. I liked the cushy room, there was lots of padding so i fell asleep on the floor and dream of sheep running nude. I wake up to see that the pink elephants have come back to haunt me again so i scream real loud. I stand up and try to reach for his magical cane but he always jerks his ahand back away from me so i start to make Shriekie noises and a begin to cry. I bang my head on the glass of the padded door until it breaks. I have many severe head wounds now. I am typing this telepathicly or how ever you spell that damn word out. Why cant i reach out for his magical cane in time ? what shouldi do differently next time ? And why doesn't jimmy learn that the spoon wont cut his wrist and it will only = shockie shockie time. ?
next time i say you take your socks and knot them until they look like swans... while everyone is amazed with them... you switch the spoon with a knife and then pretend you were in the bathroom the whole time

do you think Gumby likes me? he keeps looking at me and smiling, i think he wants to look at Pokey...
he wants to put a saddle on you and ride you around the room

Last night a small little mouse came to my ear when I was on the computer. He said to me that mice scientist are making a gun that shoots highly concentrated catnip and it paralizes cats like you don't believe. Can you warn the cats about this? - DZ
they are all aware of the situation

So whats happening in your life and why havent you spoken to me ? Sally unhappy customer hehehe.
i blame society... oh and work... work sucks... did i mention work sucks?

I burped and it tasted like a doughnut. What does that mean? McDiablo
it means your time has come... repent to the donuts for your deep fried sins

Is caffeine really that bad? McDiablo
no its my friend...

Will I ever beat the five ghosts in that video game I'm playing? McDiablo
yes but you'll have to cheat for a bit

Is there a god? ..and if so...Why does he/she hate me? -viqueta
no

Hair and fingernails are dead so it doesn't hurt when you trim them...but if they are dead how come they keep growing and we keep having to trim them? FartMonkey
dead stuff is oozing from your body... how do you feel about that?

How come airplanes, which mainly consist of bags of stale peanuts, overweight passengers, unnecessary flight attendants, beverage carts, terrorists, and a whole lotta metal, can stay up in the air?FartMonkey
the earth is fucked up place and that whole gravity thing can be dealt with for awhile

What are your plans, hopes, dreams,and fears for the immediate future? FartMonkey
to live awhile longer... have people pay me to write for this site... spend the money.. then die

I'm going to the store...you want anything? FartMonkey
more coffee

Are you still suffering from that cursed fecal obsession?FartMonkey
not really.. i can quit any time

Why the truck is it so cold? And why did I say 'truck' instead of 'fuck'? McDiablo
its the ice cream .. its gone to your head

Is it okay that I've taken a liking to war-themed video games? McDiablo
of course

Don't you think my cat is the cutest? Oh, wait...you don't know what she looks like. Er, well do you think she's cute? McDiablo
all cats are wonderful

why do girl guides like playing marco polo at frickin' 5 in the morning? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they are messed in the head

do you want me to take you to the bathroom too? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no but you can still hold my tail

have you ever gone camping with girl guides? - Miss Roger's Sweater
no... are you offering? oh wait a minute... how old are girl guides again?

are you happy that i took a shower once i came home from camping too? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes... having that shower makes everything ok again after camping

why is the front door open? i'm still wearing multiple layers of clothes form camping and here the stupid door is open.. my mom is wearing shorts and my brother is wearing pjs.. what the heck? - Miss Roger's Sweater
they're trying to MESS WITH YOUR HEAD... i say walk around in a halloween costume... see what they say about THAT

Since there is no god, Why do cruel and unusually sadistic things keep happening to me at a higher rate then one would consider coincidence?-viqueta
sometimes life just plain sucks... and other times pixies are plotting against you

i am a gothic guy, i wear all black clothing, black eyeliner, black lipstick, and black nail polish. answer me this, how come i can look better, and do my make-up better than a lot of chicks, but not be gay? -weirdofreako
some people know how to put on makeup and some don't... ? just because a guy can put on makeup 'better' then a chick doesn't mean anything about who he fucks...

why does vodka taste like rubbing alcohol? and why does peppermint schnapps taste like mouthwash? is this all a ploy by the government to get everything to taste exacally the same? like what they did with chicken? mmm tastes like chicken... weirdofreako
well since i can't have any of it i'll just amuse myself with shadow puppets

i heard theres a certain species of monkey,its called the bonibus,or something like that, who has orgys, masturbates, and has multiple partners. are you one of those monkeys? monkie boy
woah... no but now i know what to look for

if you have a kid will you name him spanky?? weirdofreako
no... and there will be NO having kids...

I went to a little bakery that day and at the counter was a basket labelled "Baby Muffins" so i wanted some muffins with baby in them and i bought it but only AFTER i bought it did i realise and i asked the girl behind the counter, "do these have baby in them or are they called that because of their size?" but she just stared at me with my change still in her hand so i grabbed it and ran out quickly. Anyway, what do you think about those muffins. I haven't eaten them yet because i want to be sure there's baby in them or i wont eat em. - SiNiSTaR
i say you eat them and see if there are babies... if not then i say take a half eaten one and make them eat it and verify that the muffins are mislabeled... then demand free muffins

What happens to you when you sell your soul for money? and it isn't even GOOD money? - SiNiSTaR
then whoever bought it got what they paid for

My cats like to eat ANYTHING except cat food. They eat cake, quiche, rice, pasta, even GREEN PEAS for chrissakes. But they DON'T eat CAT FOOD, and i'm getting really frustrated when i have to mix their cat food with some mashed potatoes and gravy so they'll eat it. what can i do?? to get them to eat food that's good for them?? this cat food was recommended to me by the vet for fuck's sake.... - SiNiSTaR
my cat only likes seafood catfood... i asked her why she didn't like the beef and she said 'when have you ever seen a pack of housecats take down a cow?'

what sort of porn is your favourite actually, besides sock monkey porn? - SiNiSTaR
free porn with no pop-up ads and did i mention free?

something gurgled.. was it my stomach or the computer? - Miss Roger's Sweater
your stomach but the computer told it to do it

is it ok to watch cartoons while having thanksgiving dinner? - Miss Roger's Sweater
yes

i got a bit of a sun burn while camping.. but is was so cold, how do you explain that? - Miss Roger's Sweater
the suns rays can burn regardless of the temperature

whatchootalkin'boutwillis? - Miss Roger's Sweater
i had to leave this one on here

What are you going to be for Hallowe'en? A piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe, perhaps? McDiablo
i'm not sure... i was thinking 'brittany spears'...

Why is there an apostraphe in the word "Hallowe'en"? McDiablo
to confuse and annoy... oh... no wait... i'm not sure

Is gum SUPPOSED to stick to your teeth when you chew it?? McDiablo
yes... then you pry it off with your tongue... then bite it again

You say we are all your dream. If we were all your dream don't you think it would be a hell of a lot easyer to get us to send you money? No I think I am still dreaming. Though it is odd that my dreams say that I am a dream. Perhaps it is some kind of psychological problem. Mabey in me awake life I was mentaly scared into thinking nothing is real on any level. Though if you are not real, why am I asking you a question? Oh well I like talking to figments of my imagination. I supose when I wake up I will be in some kind of white paded room. Yes This is a well druged dream. - (Nameless)
my mind likes to taunt me with stupid people... and those who don't want to send me money... i think i can blame the whole thing on being yelled at as a kid and that party i didn't go to once cuz it was 'too late' for 'normal people' to be out

did you know that the dot over an "i" is called a tittle? that the prong of a fork is called a tyne? And that a whale's dick is called a dork, and a pregnant goldfish is called a twit? I like obscure words do you? O the joy of rambling about episcopalian conundrums of much obfusticationalasticity . . . do you have a clue what I am talking about because I don't have a fucking clue? - Fish
sometimes words are fun and other times they suck

did you know that "DC the sock monkey" is an anagram of "men doth cock key"? - Fish
now i do

..my sister makes me angry...every morning she watches me on the comp...but she's supposed to get ready for school...can ya help me?what should i do,or say to her to make her ignore me and do what she has to do...and she get's me in trouble cuz she doesn't do what i say and my dad says "why didn't you tell her to get ready?"and i say"i did"...and it goes on from there...help meee ~SG*
i say you start typing out some nonsense about shades of the color green until she gets fed up and leaves

Maybe tripping is really what your supposed to see in real life and what you see in reality is actually a hallucination.What do you think?
damnit... see i had thought that and then that shiny thing went by and i forgot what i was thinking

Do you think that when people are angryand yelling they are really being themselves and when people are acting nice they are just being fake?
i think people are nice when they feel nice and mean when they feel angry... at least that is how they SHOULD be but everyone knows that everyone else is just a bunch of fucking fakes so who knows or cares what they are really thinking if they're just gonna lie to you anyways

why the hell does jello liquid turn to jello when it gets cold,but when you set it out and it gets hot, it does not go back to liquid, the solid never goes back to a liquid, WHY?????????????????????
sure it does... the room temp isn't always high enough to melt it but if you heat it up it does go to liquid... damnit this is simple science... you go on a science site and start learning this shit

Can you believe it's the middle of November already? Vista
i had to check my calendar... don't do that again

My spelling has be sucking ass lately. What is the cause of this? Vista
tight underwear and reality

What is so great about the Mint Girl Guide cookies? Vista
nothing at all... not even the minty bits

Why does the army get all the GOOD weapons? What happens if they decide they don't necessarily appreciate our company anymore?
we're just sheep to them... and the army doesn't get ALL the good ones

why do they call it a dingleberry, -dewpe
cuz of dr dingleberry

An old lady screamed at me from her srean door. She was wearing a pink robe so i burned her. Shes dead now. Was this the right thing to do ?
throwing some mud would have done the trick

Can sock monkeys reproduce ? How long can a sock monkey live for ?
no and a long time if taken care of properly