Easter sucks!
By JCP

Getting baskets filled with sugary garbage that you hate - but no one ever pays attention to that and just buys you more each year.

Getting in trouble for having some kid overhear you laughing about the easter bunny not being real.

Finding out the easter bunny isn't real.

Being dragged to some boring religious thing while being forced to wear "something nice" and realizing that none of it has anything to do with bunnies or eggs and no one can explain to you why that is.

People wishing you a "happy easter" and the only non-rude thing you can manage to say is "you too".

Having your easter basket hidden and not being able to find it for 12 hours or more while your sibling(s) find theirs within an hour.

Finding everyone else's easter basket but your own.

Having to go on an egg-hunt.

Going on an egg hunt and not being able to find any eggs - only rocks.

Marshmallow peeps.( Here is how to get rid of them. )

Having an egg hunt in your house and not all get found until the smell of them going bad begins to fill your house.

Having an egg hunt turn into you getting eggs thrown at you.

Easter lilies. THEY STINK HORRIBLY.

Getting the day off work/school but having to spend it with your family.

People who decorate their homes with eggs, going so far as to cover trees with plastic eggs.

Being made to colour eggs and instead, end up colouring your hands.

People who ask kids about the easter bunny in a really loud and annoying voice.

Having to lie to your own kid about the easter bunny so they don't blab to other kids and get you in shit.

Lame baskets filled with crap that kids should eat, or things that no one in their right mind would ever want.

Not knowing what to do with the damn baskets when they're empty.

Having people give you big stupid chocolate figures/bunnies.

Being given large chocolate forms and the chocolate is HORRIBLE.

Opening up your chocolate bunny box and finding the ears have been stolen and eaten already.

People who think they're pretty clever by melting down leftover easter chocolate and making even worse chocolates out of them.

You just got finished eating all that damned christmas chocolate and now you've got a whole basket of easter chocolate to get through.

Getting a basket filled with kindertoys that have all melted and some socks that don't fit.

People who have those bunny-themed sweaters that they proudly wear for easter.

Stupid stuffed animals are everywhere you look - ducks, chicks, eggs and bunnies.

Having your house or car pelted with coloured eggs.

Being forced to eat coloured eggs.

The smell of everyone's farts after they've been eating coloured eggs.

People who buy other people actual live chicks and/or bunnies for easter.

Stores that line the front of their entrances with lilies, causing you to choke on the stink when you walk in.

Stupidly large stuffed animals that seem fun for a day and then you have no where to put them due to their size.

Kinder eggs that are missing vital parts so all you're left with is gross chocolate and little bits of plastic.

All the lame pastel colours that most easter things are coloured with.

People who dress up their kids like bunnies.

Bags of chocolate eggs that taste like dirty socks.

Gummy bunnies that taste like soap.

People who make their kids wear easter bonnets.

Having to go on an egg hunt even though there is still snow on the ground and it's COLD out.

Going on an egg hunt and all you find are eggs. (Why can't it be a cash hunt?)

Being made to do the bunny hop with your family.

Those stupid headbands that have ears on them to make you look like a bunny.

People who have clip on bunny tails.

People who make their kids dress up in little suits and stupid frilly dresses for easter and then parade them around to all the family members they live near.

 

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