Summer sucks.
It may be hard to believe, but yes, there are indeed things that suck about summer.

If you're 16 or older, you're expected to get a job and actually do some work during the summer.

If you're out of school, summer just means that now there are kids in the way during the day.

THE HEAT. When you lose half your weight in sweat during a day, things are horribly wrong.

Air conditioning works, but it costs so much to run.

If you work somewhere that is air conditioned, and then go home to an unair conditioned place, you end up feeling twice as hot at home, sweating all night. Then you underdress for work and freeze.

The less you wear, the more you stick to everything.

You start off with a light gray shirt in the morning, and by the evening it'd dark gray due to your sweating.

People who have stinky feet and they wear sandals that somehow blow the smell right into your face.

Ice cream trucks that never have what you want, and when they do, it's mostly melted.

Community pools filled with piss and eye burning chlorine.


Families on vacation. The slow moving, brightly colored pack of brats and adults that moves slowly, has the mom yelling at everyone and the dad videotaping it all with his 'new' camera. The kids scream out all the stuff they want their parents to buy them, and to shut them up, they usually get it.

Mini vans packed with crap that get in front of you on the way to work, and since they're off on vacation, it doesn't matter to them how slow they are going.

Sunblock getting into your eyes.

Bug spray choking you.

Fire ants that crawl up your leg and into your underwear to bite you on the ass.

Neighbors who have pools and they hang out in it until 3am blasting music and screaming.

Not knowing anyone with a pool that likes you enough to let you in it.

Bathing suit shopping.

Evil crocodile women who lay out in the sun all day.

People on beaches who don't understand the concept of giving other people their space.

Having the ugliest, most repulsive people checking you out in your bathing suit.

Those skinny losers with gigantic swim shorts that think they're hot and so they strut around like idiots checking out any chick over 9 years old.

Fans that pretend they're blowing air at you when in fact they aren't.

People who crank the air conditioning up so much that you get frostbite just walking in the door.

Shopping malls and other stores that blast you with cold air just before you walk outside, so the outside feels like a kick in the head from a monster called HEAT.

Getting into your car and having the seats melt the flesh off your legs, and if you dare touch the steering wheel, you lose the flesh on your hands too.

Finally finding a pair of sunglasses that you like, and they get broken or lost.

The more you spend on sunglasses, the quicker you lose/damage them.

People who have towels to match their bathing suits and sandals.

Sunblock that smells like flowers, so all the bees and wasps want to hang out with you and stab you with their asses.

Repeated sunburns that you somehow can't avoid each year no matter what you do.

Parents who think that because you're home for the summer, that you are now their personal slaves.

People who throw away hours at a time just laying in the sun. At least read a book while you're there!

Poorly organized family BBQs.

Halfwit summer employees that don't give a shit about their job, so you end up getting really shitty service everywhere you go.

Your drink/beer gets warm much quicker.

WINDCHIMES. You open your windows to let in some air and some idiot has chimes out there clanging away all day until you snap and burn the place down.

Screen doors that never seem to close right.

Breaking your leg so you're hobbling around all summer in a cast.

Power blackouts/outages when you're in the shower and you have to get the soap out of your eyes and navigate your way out of the shower in darkness.

Hanging around with those who are all pissy and cranky due to the heat which makes you pissy and cranky too.

Those idiots that drive with all the windows down while cranking the WORST tunes ever and you can't put your windows up because your car air conditioning doesn't work.

Kids pool parties.

People who live in nothing but air conditioned cars, buildings and refuse to step foot outside into the REAL weather and bitch about it like a normal person. You can't hide from nature forever!.

Kids playing outside and screaming at 6 in the morning and you can't shut your windows because your apartment building doesn't have air conditioning and all your stupid fans broke last week when you were sleepwalking..

Parents that wake you up at the crack of dawn so you can do something 'productive' with your day. Sleeping IS productive!

Going inside to get something, and when you return, bugs have infested your food/drink.

Bug bites that itch so much you have to itch it with a fork.

Going outside to do your damn chores and some chatty neighbor won't shut up and go away so you can finish and go do something fun.

Being a chick and having to spend an hour shaving everything before going swimming, when a guy just pulls on his shorts and goes. If you spend the time to do that, you get made fun of for taking so long and being 'a chick'. If you don't spend the time to do that, you're a hairy beast monster and everyone makes fun of you for that.

Fat guys who don't wear shirts when they should.

Being a guy with tons of body hair and when you take off your shirt, people shoot at you thinking you're a bear.


Popsicles that break when you're eating them.

Having all your friends be away on vacations while you're at home, and you go on vacation when they're at home so you spend most of the summer alone.

Parents that spend the summer redecorating the house and make you paint and shop with them for 'accent pieces' every day.

Not getting invited to any pool parties.

Summer school because you were an idiot all year during normal school. Smarten the hell up!

You take so many cold showers to cool down that your friends and family think you're masturbating all the time in there.

People who forget the recipe for making ice and instead of making more ice after using it all, they leave your ice trays empty.

People who are only your friends in the summer because you have a pool. They come over to hang out and have their bathing suit on under their clothes, waiting for you to suggest swimming.

Wanting to call people with pools who have invited you to 'drop by anytime' but you're afraid they'll think you're just using them for their pool.

Losing track of the days/weeks and discovering summer is over in a week.