The Streak9 Strippers. I... really think that's 'nuff said.- Streak9

I'd pick a one eye'd wonder worm,.. richard would be his name ...cuz every one says I'm dick- outlaw

I'd name it AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Adolfo Ernesto Fransisco Rodriguez High School and the Proud Fighting 'Sock Monkeys'. You know why.- iamzbob

I would pick a squirrel and name it Higgins or NutterButter. Because squirrels are both sophisticated and filled with creamy goodness. Also becaue thats just how recently diagnosed paranoid schizophrenics roll, biatch.- Daisy St. Patience

Depends upon the high school and what their vibe was but if I could, it would be a Warthog...the name would only come to me in the shower where all my creative stuff happens...I'm good with names that are on the money and stick ....- buxxy

Crostos Pilopos High and the The Shockers aka pinky stinkies.- Dagzilla

1. I would pick my secretary. 2. I would name her Luscious. 3. I'm unclear. Is that final question asking why I would name Luscious Luscious, or asking why I would do any of this?- bastard cabbage

It would be a shiny cyborg holding a block of cheese. The wearer of the mascot costume would need one skill and one skill only: The ability to break dance...and drink a cold beverage simultaneously. - McDiablo

My mascot would be Lord Xel'Thuzar the Soul Devourer. What's a Soul Devourer you ask? It's the living embodiment of all your hopelessness and despair, manifested into a single, sentient abomination. A being who devours your very will to live with it's bloody, gaping, thousand-toothed maw. Why Lord Xel'Thuzar? I serve my master without question. Soon too, will all the students of Unbearable Anguish High School. *Sinister Laughter*-Me

Well, my last name is Cox. So... I think the Cox Condoms would be pretty good. The mascot could run around rubbing against people (but not getting them pregnant). Otherwise, no puns included, I would want it to be H.G. Wells' Invisible Man. Because the literary reference would go way over the heads' of high school jocks, who would wonder why our mascot was dressed like a flasher in white makeup. - RabidDustbunny

I would want the mascot of my high school to be the incredable land slugs. It turns out, land slugs have their reproductive organs on their heads. o, the uniforms and school spirit gear that could be made.... - bobthemouse09