That would be good you'd hear some interesting stories I love the gossip- sally

ouu. I love the gossip. People always gossip on park benches. They'll officially be my best friends from now on. I'll be getting the dirt on almost everyone. Using blackmail , i'd be rich in no time. I want to own a sticker shop. my dream shall come true now.- prune me

Badass! I'd somehow exploit this information and sell it to the papers. Unfortunately, I'm sure the benches would want a cut of my earnings, and everywhere I went I'd be eyed maliciously by the benches, becuase they'd have formed a Bench Mafia of sorts. I'd end up sitting on one one day and it'd break before me and then the shards of wood would stab me to death. - mirror horses

fuck um- k

Calling me up AND emailing me? I would ask them to commit to email so I could file their responses and scan them for relevance to my affairs.- Smiley Jones

I'd get all the dirt on the people who sit on them, and hope that there was some sex involved.- Arthur, King of the Britons

I would find each of them, one by one, and set fire to them. The benches... and all the people who sit on them.- bluemonkeyfearer

Take a dump on one- Bugster

I would block its' number- poohole_gasleak

I would use this to my advantage. A business I would begin! "Curious what everyone gives a fuck about? Call 888-BENCHES Because they know EVERYTHING." The money would come pouring in... If only because people thought I needed serious mental help. ^.^- alpha.omega

I'd tell them to STFU, and threaten to sit on them after eating a pack of bean burritos. - air_wolf

I would think it was cool for a little bit but then I would cancel my sevice because I would get bored of hearing about all the bums, lazy joggers and fat old ladies who are the only people who use those gnarly things! - If I only had a navel....

delete all emails really who gives a shit- pinky7

That would be kind of cool. People watching is one of my favorite sports. I would be very interested in what the park benches have to say. So interested, in fact, that I would neglect my relationships and my school and work performances would take a hit. And then one day my boss would catch me on the phone at work with a park bench and I would be fired. Then I'd be homeless and I would seek solace in the park sleeping on the benches and I would become one of the people that the park benches talk about. Of course the benches would no longer talk to me since being homeless means I have no phone or computer, so they would talk about me with other people. I thought we were friends, bench! We had a special relationship together! I thought I meant something to you!! I guess not. Next time I come to sleep on you, I'm rolling in dog poop.- narcoticsunshine

Just unplug the phone. How did they get you email adress in the first place? Stalking?- The loser nobody gives a fuck

boner- Zayla

I'd tell them to post everything on myspace or facebook or whatever stupid social networking site all the emos go to.- Xifihas