I have got the ugliest feet on the planet and would be a perfect candidate for a foot makeover. No sob story, although I could lie and say I got ugly feet by running across hot sand to save an endangered polar bear.- Without a name

Er, yeah, but it's not cool enough for The Insane Domain so I'll spare you the sobby details.- the bubble

I have a really great story about sobbing but when I told Oprah about she said "how did you get in my house I am calling the police". - Yagrum

I could tell about how I was raised by hamsters and they made me run on the big wheel twelve hours a day and only fed me pellets that tasted like cardboard. On christmas I got a square of wood died green to chew on. But that would be a lie, I only have an unremarkable boring life story where my only problems have been of my own making. I never even experienced a religious epiphany although I had put some effort into it for a year or so. - mybuttsmells

My dog might be gay. Do they have shows about that? We support his choice either way.- Quel

no- Sally

My second toe is slightly longer than my big toe. It's a sad and serious affliction that affects more people than you think. There's a support group for my friends and family who struggle to deal with it, but I really feel that I have not been paid or pitied quite enough for the horrible strange toed life I am forced to lead.- bearded horse without a name

i would love to be a "personal motivator." as in someone who hosts these makeover shows. to have the privledge to go on national television and tell people that they are fat, ugly, ect and need to be made over. to humiliate them to the point where they are begging for plastic surgury and lipo. ahhh yes. that would be the life. - cash4stogies

Nope, my life doesn't suck that much.- Duck

When I was 12, I got hit by a car, then emptied my bowls all over the driver, who then kicked me into the sewer where a massive amount of sewage got dumped into my mouth so I vomited, which attracted a crocodile who ate me and then puked me out into a trash can at the zoo which was filled with a mixture of used diapers and radioactive jackrabbit sperm which mutated me so that I now pee out of my eyes uncontrolably. Also, I have Ultra Gonnorrhea. - Dr. Proctoculus

My family wants me to milk my illness to get on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. But, the other day, there was a family that was on that had adopted six Chinese children, all with special needs, and the father was dying of cancer (he had been hospitalized when they were on their way to re-do their house). Um, yeah, I can in no way compete with that.- McDiablo

I am currently the only pokemon on earth :( it gets really lonely and i get bored of my hand. i enjoy long walks on the beach but i enjoy swimming longer than that. there is always room for 1 more in my shell ;) female squirtles contact me on SexySquirtle@hotmale.com- Squirtle

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- Cage

My mom was raped and murdered by an alien, so was my dad and all other relatives (same alien). Then I got shot, but obviously i survived. Or did I.... This might get me on Oprah.- That stupid nerdy dork that is always hanging around the cool kids.