Que esta status message? Do you mean like: single, divorced, married but separated, hard up and loooking for humiliation? Something like that?- back hair guy

Leave me the fuck alone!- Assface

fucking john woo with a shotgun- whizzy

Horny.- iamzbob

If you're reading this, you've obviously IM'd me while I was away having sex with my boyfriend. If he hears this and yells out your name I'm coming after you...- ox-tacular

indecided- Ram

sarchasm- clownassasin

"Position Vacant: Fuck Buddy"- Spoungeworthy

My friend's current Facebook status reads "is going crazy from the itchiness and benedryl... and is going to explore the great indoors forever... here's hoping for a monitor tan!" She got 50+ mosquito bites the other night and her allergies are acting up. Yes, I laugh at her misery. I am cruel.- McDiablo

Me queso es mejor y teijo, adonde es el sanitario?- iamzbob

"Your mum appears to be offline" "Your mum signed in" "Your mum is busy and he/she may not reply"- Chibi

"(unnamed person)...can hear his housemate XXXX furiously wanking"- IchoseThis

Fuck it, I don't know.- G-Rod

Bored.- missidiot

what's a status message?- Pete the rat

Reading a book to my kid: "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Jew Fish"- Ishkabilly

SoAndSo is molesting his computer.- Archbishop Shaggy

I love my wife....(on mine)- cessna

Most of the time it's the same emo bullshit, however the other day I saw one that said, "Be back soon- Cleaning the semen from your curtains." It took me a little by surprise. - SulkingforSewage

"Fish Naked Show Off Your Pole". And I was like, what?- BongHitsforJesus

Ive sent that they cannot dance cause the truth betold white people cannot dance and that is the truth if they cannot accept that then clearly then certainly lied to you and white people are so paranoid they expect you to everything the right way if you are not normal they expect you to do certain things to them- Tt

Hello! By IMing me while I am clearly away, you have activated the "stupid virus" which has already commenced destroying your computer. Congratulations! (much further down) - Ha, just kidding. - dragon bottles!

None of them are good.- Faggot.

They tend to suck, and none are ever memorable.- Orange

zonked- msgalaxy

gotta pee... brb- mrs. stout

I used to have, "Remember the time we beat the fuck outta that dog?"- rotten