A furniture porn movie.- Kinky Kelly

finding out that German Sheperd taste just like chicken !- gglass

I saw someone I worked with come in one day all bandaged up and suffering from severe third degree burns he suffered from an accident at home. I had to hide so he couldn't see my incontrollable guffaws, I didn't want to get fired. I don't know why everyone hated me there. People are just too sensitive.- JimmysaysListenupdude

http://www.redvsblue.com stories by idiots. And Junkie Deluxe explanation of taking a shit in a dogs water bowl.- IshKabilly

Um, this commercial with tap dancing monkeys.- Chicken of Despair

Insanity. And africans- haeboe

There were a mama squirrel and two cute baby squirrels living in the evergreen tree outside the living room picture window of my Seattle apartment. The people who had lived in the apartment before me must have fed the mama, 'cause she would come to the window ledge (amazingly gymnastic, these squirrels) and beg. Like a sap, I'd crank open the window screen and place some crackers or whatever on the ledge for her. She'd take one in her little rodent paws and gobble it down like greased lightning, then carry the remainders home to her nest for her offspring to chew upon. It was a hot summer (not all that common in Seattle) and I fell to leaving the window screen in the open position to facilitate ventilation. One day, mama squirrel came to beg and I was out of crackers. I had some stale cashews left over from a party and placed some of them out on the ledge. She was on them in a flash and ate down each and every one in nothing flat! The next thing I knew she was through the window and inside the apartment, racing around like a crazy wind-up toy, bouncing off the furniture and walls and splattering squirrel shit everywhere. I was somewhat taken aback, but retained my presence of mind and placed some more cashews outside on the ledge. She zoomed outside and I cranked the screen shut while she was busy masticating. Every time I looked outside for the next few days she was at the window staring fixedly at me with those beady little black eyeballs. The crazy bastard. Just now is the first time I laughed, thinking about it.- Hey! It's NEDLY - NOT dumbass!

harold and kumar...they went to white castle and it was HIGHLARIOUS.- lamenamegameforshame

It was probably something on YouTube that did this. I watched a snippet from Robot Chicken, when Darth Sidious finds out (from Darth Vader) that the Death Star has been blown up: "Do you have ANY IDEA what this is going to do to my credit?!...Now get your 7'2" asthmatic ass back here or I'll tell everyone what a whiney bitch you were about Padamommy or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!" - McDiablo

my friend russel saying " bitch if you dont stop getting lippy, im gonna smack you in the face and say eat my shorts"- Great Jihad

Go to google, click maps, click get directions, put in new york, new york and paris, france, and read the 23rd line.- Zelda

My 7 month old shit on my fiance's stomach, and no, he wasn't wearing a shirt. It was great stuff.- The Bubble

The fact that there is this girl that always talks her stuff and us people that sit at the table really dont like her we used to be cool and stuff like that and Sean one of me best friends said Skeezer and my other Best friend said Bitch so i started to laugh it was so funny i almost peed in my pants.- tt

Reminicing about how it used to be a contest in high school to see how hard someone could smack my ass. One guy actually came up behind me with out my knowing and smacked my ass so hard I fell to the floor, and when I got home, i looked in the mirror and had his hand imprinted in my left ass cheek. Ahh, the days of my youth...- idontmindthesunsometimes

I've never laughed- yam

well i was reading this sad stroy about how this guy's girlfriend cheated on him and so he killed himself or somthing really stupid like that and there was this add at the top of the page that said "kill the other hobo and get a free ipod" or some shit like that. it was a little game and it was incredably easy cuz you have a baseball bat and the other hobo had a broken bottle. i laughed so hard.....- bobthemouse09

Watching a little preteen dumb ass get a soccer ball to the head. His mom didn't laugh though. - Rico

Probably one of the articles here.- G-Rod

a lame comment matt said- tine

I don't remember- Kster

How clever columbo is.- Gazza

that new berries and cream starburst comurtal- elbonyo

the bad acting in C&C 3- ZC

my assistant's impression of an outsourced to Indonesia telephone customer service employee - beatch

I think it was the last time that my boyfriend said the word "fabulous". I have to laugh. He's from California, I'm from Nebraska. His fake gay voice sounds too convincing for his own good.- bluemonkeyfearer

Well, there was this time back in the twenties in which I thought that I was laughing. It turned out that I just had the hiccups.- Insaneslasher

i lockd my friends little brother in a cage as he pourd hot sauce in his eyes. it was funny cause he was trapped in a cage while his eyes were burning he was cryn and everything... it was great..- 6inchhookerheels

When I made a black box with pink windows in art today. Travis said it looked like a gay bar. So I put a big pink sign on the side that said, "The Spicy Pickle." Then told Madora it was for people like her. It was great. - Rabid Dustbunny

My attempting to do a certain yoga position and putting too much force into it and doing some sort of stupid roly-poly instead. Graceful is me.- yoghurt_yoga

When I looked in the toilet this morning my crap looked like Rosie Odonnel.- burp master

"I have to go buy Naked Pants." I'm pretty sure it's not what was actually said, but for some reason, it's hilarious.- Katoid

Ever see the rust stain that razor blades make when left out in the open? Ever seen one that was shaped like jesus?- Zombie Sock Monkey

not cynically? umm.... i got nothing... dane cook is pretty funny- sikkgrrl

I laugh out loud a lot, thank you. I read a funny comic in the paper today.- cessna