I didn't pay my fuckin taxes you silly old man, and you can't make me, you jolly red source of all capitalism!!!- Zombie Sock Monkey

Im was bad.- mad_patrol

I've been good in bed.- Erinfuck

Get your hand off my ass you dirty old man.- Burnt-out Bill

The pot smoking kung fu hamsters will dine on the souls of your ancestors and then rent some really stupid movies staring tom cruise and make you watch them while they go into the kitchen and make a sandwhich, bite my white ass clause!!!!!!- Meenky

very bad- wocknhell

You suck Santa- Ginger_girl

Id say it depends how does mrs.claus feel when i leave santas workshop- pornstar of the ant coloney at 14

yeah i just want a case of beer and a carton of smokes- creepymike

Give a blow job and I'll tell ya!- Angus Purebread

Well, Santa, I have been a good girl, but that is only if you don't count all of the evil crimes I committed on that game, The Sims 2, you brought for me a few years back.- Rawrquel

I would claw out his eyes and scream, for all the children to hear, about what a fake he is, and then I would rip off his fake beard.- bluemonkeyfearer

Mmmm, Santa. When he puts me on his knee, I must respond with wrapping my arms around his neck and murmuring, "Hello there, big boy, I've been an extremely good girl this year, but I'm willing to break that record, if you get my drift." I would then proceed to wink and nudge him.- monkeeskittles

I just pooped my pants!- Katoid

I giggle and tell him I've been very naughty again and need my Christmas spanking while twirling his beard with my finger.- Junkie Deluxe

I reply, "I don't know, have you been?"- BIG POPPA

"Well you should know, you daft fat old cunt"- South-West-Suicide

You know, last year I had my picture taken with Santa (sadly, I'm not joking, haha) and he was such a tiny man that had I sat on his lap I would've broken his little legs! I think he was a badly disguised elf, but I digress, Batman. I think I'd go all smartass on Santa and answer the "have you been a good girl?" question with, "I don't know. Have YOU?" Seriously, who ever asks Santa if HE'S been good? He could be sodomizing his reindeer for all we know. Poor Dancer...I bet he has to perform a striptease for 'ol Kris Kringle nightly. *Shudders* This destruction of your childhood innocence has been brought to you by McDiablo. - McDiablo

I tell him that I used to be a boy, but the doctors said the sex-change operation was success, then start bawling when he calls me a girl. I try to get him to talk to my toe-socks to repent for his wickedness, but he rarely does. Damn Santa. I'm gonna get him some day. - Rabid Dustbunny

Aside from getting Mrs Santa to have a 30 man gangbang with the elves, very nice.- Epic Epidemic

does it really matter all i get for xmas is shit anyway?- grump

Well for New Years I got drunk, nobody would drive me home so I tried and on the way there I killed about 10 people. For Valentine's Day I got my boyfriend the still beating heart of his dog, I killed a leprachaun and stole his gold for St. Patricks Day (also while drunk). For April Fools I faked my own death and then popped out of my coffin during the service and scared the crap out of everybody. For Spring Break I got my camera, claimed I was from a TV Show called "Boys Gone Wild" and taped guys doing stupid things, then when I got home I sold it to everybody. For my birthday I snuck into a strip club and burned it down. For Thanksgiving I ate FIVE turkeys. And for Christmas I faked my own death again so I wouldn't have to buy anybody presents. All the days that weren't holidays I made sure to be a complete asshole to every living and non-living thing. So Santa, all things considered I'd have to say I was better this year than I was last year.- PyroPrincezz

umm umm yes because if i said no i wouldnt get that pony i asked for- sceneboy

If he has a real beard - " A unicycle and fire twirling staff worth" If his beard is fake - good enough that I can afford to set his beard on fire and still be on the 'nice' list.- Anna Phylaxis