* Awards given out by Mzebonga! *

sit in ice cream preferably vanilla becuase chocolate can leave you feeling sticky after a while - sally

Well,it depend on were the itchy,burning sensation is.If you mean on the face like your nose,i just scratch it until a little kid watch me like i was an alien or some crap like that.Then i stare at him back until he run away to his mommy;and after i continue to scratch myself.And if you mean,like,in your asshole,well i don't know what to do but i know this:DO NOT SCRATCH YOUR ASS IN PUBLIC!!! - mad_patrol

Cake. First, see, you need that really moist chocolate cake. With frosting. Chocolate frosting. But no candles. And the rest is up to you. - tattoo

Well i try to find a radioactive waste puddle and trow myself in.I din't tell you this Mzebonga but im a MUTANT!!!!!!! - mad_patrol

tell her to get off u - elbonyo

If i tell you you'd trow up until you die - mad_patrol

Jump into a swimming pool of mayonaise. - PyroPrincezz

kill you - kickyou!

Scrach myself until i have a hole in my skin.It heal itself because im a mutant alien! - mad_patrol

Cocodomal. Enough of it makes you vomit and pass out. - South-West-Suicide

I send him back to the UK and never let him sit on my furniture again. (You would think I'd learn the first time.)I have burnt everything he touched with fire. That's how you win these things, you fight FIRE with FIRE. Anyone who tells you any different is a carrier of the disease and they must be cleansed with fire as well. - JCP

I scratch, unless it is in a rude spot, other people would think I'm really gross. Then I just move my legs around and try not to show any pain on my face. Boring, I know. - missidiot

Usually I clear a room, put down a tarp, cover the walls, soundproof it, sharpen my knife collection, then put up a sign outside indicating "Free Candy inside!".....it goes away after that...... - Katoid

by applying insane amounts of stuff that won't work very well but smells good - Captain Daryl Teach

It depends upon WHICH itchy, burning sensation you refer to. If you mean a hemorrhoidal problem I would start by removing the huge, pulsating black dick from my ass. OOps! I mean, haha, I would shop for a suitable ointment to alleviate the symptoms. For the case of an itchy, burning heart, well, that is more complicated. I would likely listen to some Beethoven, fly to Philly, and spend some time in the beautiful museum there. Then, after inflating my capacity for love by these means, I would seek out the company of my beautiful Brazilian wife. (She is afraid of flying or I would certainly take her with me!) - Beechcraft

Drinking coffe. Coffe is good. Coffe is your friend. Coffe fixes everything. Open yourself to coffe. Alternatively, a good ol' wank helps, too. - Insaneslasher

I bury my foot in cheerios for several minutes, and if that doesn't work, I hack a loogey on it and rub it in. One of those is actually true. - Streak9

scratch it or trow myself in fire - stupid.com

gluxatol - NO_NAME

Ice--cures lots of things. We have lots of it here, might as well use it for something. - NO_NAME

Gasoline - ChillySnotPockets

stop fucking dirty hookers and get a shot of penicillin. or just kill yourself. - idontmindthesunsometimes

Depends on the "sensation". I may not want to let it go away. - ROXTOYZ

I dont have to worry, because unlike some idiots, I wear my rubbers! - Neos9

I go to the doctor's, get stuff fixed, and go on my merry way. Hey, you should be proud of me--this question had "STD JOKES!" written all over it and, believe me, I like making STD jokes. A bit too much, I'm afraid. That was me being mature, darn it! Augh. Being an adult, albeit a young one, sucks ass. - McDiablo

i shave it ALL off - ayokthisisgreat

Bathe in Jell-O. - me

USE GOLD BOND ANTI-ITCH POWDER OR CREAM - CrazyCat

It's impossible. I mean, it usually goes away by itself eventually, but I've found NO WAY of making it go away. I just squirm uncomfortably until it does, and everyone assumes I have some weird problem. It's best to practice preventative health when it comes to the itchy, burning sensation. Stop it before it starts. - Joel

By itching constantly. Or severing said limb/organ/part.... - zombie sock monkey

moisterizer - NO_NAME

Monistat, generally. Or, I get really drunk. Sometimes both. - lil red riding hoodlem

*smokes pipe and has a tall wizards hat and makes smoke rings* Well, Bilbo once told me .... *looks at you with surprise, why are you asking? *stares* HAKUNA MATATA! *poofs and disappears, you see me running away* - God of Yew

NO SCRATCHING, take ointment and use it, or see a doctor - who stole my name: yosoydame

Butter. - Robojesus

rubbing myself with an onion - Jenny