* Awards given out by Mzebonga! *

i ring and tell him hes a fucking idiot - sally

Me?Oh,i will just let him rot in his own problems;after all,it's his fault and he gonna die anyway...muhahaha!!! - mad_patrol

I'd offer to buy the next round. - BillyBlueBalls

Like we had life anywise. Why did you try to drown that little fish? - tattoo

fuck that id buy him anouther beer....... - elbonyo

Let him rot alone just for the fun...muhahaha! - mad_patrol

Depending on how narcissistic they are I'd find before and after pictures of drunks and show them to him, telling him that yes, he will look that bad if he doesn't stop. If he isn't narcissistic enough to care, I wait until he's super drunk, drive him to a tattoo shop and convince him to get a tattoo on his ass saying "Don't Drink" and then let him pass out in the rear of my car, drive to the middle of nowhere, and leave him there with the car locked. When he wakes up and calls me from the cellphone I left in his pocket, demanding to know what happened. I tell him that if he doesn't stop drinking that this kind of thing will be happening until he is covered in tattoos and eventually gets murdered because some crazy guy found him in the middle of nowhere and killed him. If he still refuses I tell him that there is no gas in the car and I refuse to pick him up or even tell him where he is until he promises to stop drinking. If he breaks the promise I do the same thing to him again. And he can't call any other person on my cell because all other numbers are blocked. - PyroPrincezz

kill you - kickyou!

drink 'till i die.Oh you mean HIM?! Me: do you know that drinking make you drunk? That drunk guy: uhh...mom? Me: do you know that your an alien? And go on and on until i get tired and tell him that he have no life. - mad_patrol

I'd simply go visit him, and try to talk it over. The occasional phone call to see if he's ok. Unfortunately, im not qualified enougfh to help someone out of a situation such as this, so anything i say/do would have no effect i suppose. I'd refer him to some sort of clinic, either that or get him addicted to something else. - South-West-Suicide

I say "HEY MZEBONGA STOP BEING A FUCKING DRUNK. OBEY! OBEY!". You'd just keep drinking and ignoring me and eventually I'd inherit all your DVDs which would suck because they wouldn't play on my DVD player due to living in the UK and having messed up formats. So basically I'd just sit you down and say that I'd rather have your books than your DVD's (unless you know for SURE they'll work for me). Oh yea, hand over your Snoopy too. - JCP

you give him some drinks and watch him die. Dont forget to video tape everything. - NO_NAME

Send him a letter. In the letter, I would write: "Hey idiot! You're living in denial. You have a bloody drinking problem and if you don't do something about it, I have tapes of you naked and having sex with your next-door neighbour and I'll show your wife! Please refer to the few pamphlets I've sent with this letter." Then I'd put in as many pamphlets about mental illnesses and drinking as I can cram into the large envelope. - missidiot

As I've said before, I'm slightly sadistic, so I'd probably not tell them about it and just laugh in a dark corner of their house as they slowly died. It would get especially good when the delirium tremors hit. - Katoid

well first i would join the lad(seeing as he might be irish[same as me]) and have a good few nights drinking merryly. then after he don some stupid drunk stuff then i bust him for being a lazy drunk irish chum of mine - Captain Daryl Teach

First of all I would proofread my question to be sure that I'm not giving the impression that I'm the one with the drinking problem. I would call my friend and say that I was coming for a visit. I would then fly down and talk to him about it. I would start with something like: "Hey Mike, is everything okay? you have me worried because (insert observed behavior)." I'd tell him that I love him and I'm only trying to help. "Take a step back outside of yourself and objectively ask yourself if you like where your life is going." and, "Is your lifestyle improving the quality of your life?" are a couple questions that I might toss around. - Beechcraft

With an hammer. Every conversation goes more smoothly if you are holding a hammer. Then again, as long as he keeps living a long way away he isn't a real threat, right? - Insaneslasher

Well, I get all his friends and family, trick him into going into my house. And we'd put on a puppet show about the dangers of alcohol that involves sock monkeys. - Streak9

walk up to him...slap him, make out with him and tell him he's an idiot. - NO_NAME

I'd send him some pictures of my friends from around here who've been drinking for 30-40 years--that otter do it! Althouhg if he was in denial, I don't know how I'd even know he had a problem bad enough for me to tell if it was bad enough for me to give him shit about it. - NO_NAME

We talk about it over drinks. - ChillySnotPockets

If this friend is really worth saving, and you really cared about him, then you would be kind enough to go to him and help to see him through his problem, whether that means putting him through rehab or detox or whatever. If he's not that close to you, or you really don't care about him, then let him suffer and laugh about it when it's too late for him to be saved. That way, you get to feel a sense of power over your own life by watching the misfortune of someone else unfold. Who doesn't love a good devilish powertrip? Of course, Karma will bite you in the ass for it later, but fuck it. That is, only if you're a cold, heartless piece of shit. - idontmindthesunsometimes

If he is drinking badly, he prolly didnt have a life. So I say let the good times roll! - ROXTOYZ

He himself has destroyed any chance of having a life, hes just digging a deeper hole in his grave. So I could care less, sides my grandmama always said lookout for "yourself" - Neos9

I'd take him out on a Slurpee Run. Now, one might think, 'You'd drive all the way over to wherever the hell this loser lives just to take them to a 7-Eleven?' Why, yes. Yes, I would. You see, Slurpee Runs aren't necessarily about the destination. It's about the drive, the company, and whatever else happens along the way. I've taken hour long drives before hitting a 7-Eleven just for the sake of having a bit of an outing. It pretty much distracts you from anything else going on in the world--and from stuff that may drive people to drink. Plus, Slurpees are a much healthier addiction than alcohol. Just ask that dude in the lab coat standing in the corner there. He'll back me up with fun facts. Yeah.. - McDiablo

well if he is already an alcoloic then its to late for any help im sorry - ayokthisisgreat

Tell him, "You remind me of my mother." - me

How the hell would i know if he had a problem? Once someone leaves my peripheral, i tend to forget they exist... - zombie sock monkey

i don't honestly care. - NO_NAME

Wellll, I'd start by sending them gift certificates for Budweiser and Pabst, and inquiring, when they are relatively sober, as to the recipients of their inheritance. - lil red riding hoodlem

*ponders this question for about an hour and then jumps up with a lightbulb in his hand* WELL DUH. Why didn't I think of this an hour ago! I'd OF COURSE Use my Godlike powers and summon a Penguin Army Special Forces from the dead. and send them hither and thither to my friend who is in denial about it. and have them watch him in their Ninja Penguin garbs, watching as his paranoia suddenly runs from 0 to WAC 58 in 0-60 seconds. - God of Yew

Ok i approach him by telling him what alcohol does to any human being and that it gets rid of your sense of control, then i'll sinker him out of it... - who stole my name: yosoydame

That's his problem. I don't associate with drunks. - Robojesus

Well,if he have a drinking problem then its his own fault,so why in hell should I care?HE should be the one only to realize!!! - Jenny