"oo, bit to the right" - poo

....who ever still visits santa is realy sad....or likes old men.. ..but i jst found out santa didnt exist....aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! - brown_stuff

Got your condom? - Catherine

Punch Him - scrote

I say "Dad, it's three in the morning, you'll just have to wait a bit longer". That's not true. I wasn't abused. He was though. - George

I usually kick him in the head and jump on his groin. Which is close enough in my book. - Mzebonga

WOW, that has NEVER happened to me before !! I'm usually the Santa !! - Poptart

you sicko fucking child molestor! - Russ Dire

pull of his beard - fnurkus artvark

"I have herpes..." Stops 'em every time - Turtle

I call the police and have his molestering ass hauled off. THERE'LL BE NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, KIDDIES! - Mzebonga

Gladly agree. - hippiedad69

ehh, y not indulge this creapy bastard? - Ace

I make sure my bladder is really full, so when he bounces I pee all over him. This isn't really an original method of 'getting back at the creepy Santa', but do you think he'd expect that from a 20-something? Didn't think so. - McDiablo

That depends on my eggnog intake. - WingNut

pedophile! - josue

I get all hot and excited. Then I gradually get weirded out because the santa that I sit on, is normally a relative and I'm waaay too old for that shit. - b_write

I have spikes protruding from my pants so it usually hurts Santa very much. - The infamous Jefferson Rottweiler

groin kick and run - Maude Lynne

O_o Bouncy bouncy bouncy....with a fat old man? HA! You'll get nothing from me, NOTHING!!! - bluemonkeyfearer

it depends on whether I'm bouncy at the time. If I'm bouncy, the tell-tale signs are a slinky-spring, beanbag like texture, and a split drink in my hand. If i'm un-bouncy, it'll be the "sitting there reading the paper" stance - often seen on trains and buses, because people in england don't talk to each other when on public transport. - Caffeine Cruise

Do I look like a cheap whore? - idontmindthesunsometimes

cut off his dick and then sit down on his bloddy lap as he screams of pain. - renae

i dont want to talk about the first thing that pops up santa. - spike

Is that a one eyed snake I see santa? >_> - PyroPrincezz

maybe by bouncing an elbow to "lap" - TRIpod

Never good for a fat chic to sit on someone's lap and bounce. - Balloons R Fun

I can't bounce, never learned - nick

I prefere not to sit on the old guys lap. If I wanted a sugar daddy I would find one that will die sooner then later. Santa ain't even dieing unless the world has Christmas disappear. Plus what kind of money can some guy get for dressing up like Santa in a Mall? - ~Jeepster

I drop my trousers, santa is a big guy, why would I deny the inevitable. - George's Clone - George

I calmly tell him to keep his lewd commments to himself, he's a bit old for me, and that if he wants to meet me in the parking lot, he can. - Katoid

don't - lois

i poke is belly and run! Flail my arms screaming "jeLL-o!!!!" and run towards the nearest doorway. accidentally missing, and running into a wall. i fall down stunned and then get back up scream and flail and run out the door... - l2o0aLo0

i walk away...i never belived in santa...NEVER. - colour-me-psycho

i would say im not gay - blackwallstreet4life

"No, bitch, you sit on MY lap and bounce. Remember who's master today. Don't make me flagellate you in front of all these people." - Fish

i shoot him in the head - Nonameloser

Say "Dad! this is exactly why I grew up in foster homes!" - PRchick

I would say "hey santa why dont you bounec off a cliff" - I was that other guy

i will run at a fast pase - its me agian

Hell-NO You Satan Bastard! - Zelda

That's never happened to me and I hope it never does. - Bumface

i would fuck his father and run a mile - pancho

By saying "Santa, I just don't roll that way." - Zaqim

I obey. HAIL SATAN, uh Santa. - *silverfish*

"Ew you pervert" - Jenn

that i am going to sue you because you are a flaming homosexual - jo yama

O.k. but this time im charging per bounce and per inch, Five dollars each. And no more leaving the elf in your pocket his hat is to pointy. oh, I also want dinner, i'll settle for a big kids meal. - iamzbob

I usually reply, that i fell for the same trick last year, and when he promises to put the peporoni down before i sit on his lap, I usually do. - kellykins

pull out his dick and balls and suck em - forgotten name

smthing like wtf? - trulte

Tell 'im I'm not that kinda guy. - Swine

In a firm and clear voice I say "Piss off Grandad !" - Rhys