Winter sucks.

You wear so much clothing that you build up static just from reaching for something. If you happen to be reaching for something metal, then you get a static shock.

Skin becomes itchy. Horribly itchy. Using the doorframe to itch your yourself like a bear kind of itcy.

Your toes become little pods of ice. The only fun you can get out of this is by putting them on other people and making them scream at how cold that was and how horrible you are for putting your feet on them.

People forget how to drive in snow every year if you live somewhere where you always get snow.

You have no idea how to drive in snow if it snows when you almost never get snow where you live.

Shovelling snow seems like a great way to exercise at first, and maybe just a bit fun, but 5 minutes into it you realize how much it sucks. By the time you're done, you can't feel your toes or fingers, and you're sweating like hell. Then some cheery neighbor who has kids to shovel their snow wanders up and wants to chat with you about the weather and everything else. All you can think about is hitting them in the head with the shovel and burying their body in the snow. You'll figure you can deal with it in the spring.

If you go anywhere outside, you have to wear 4 extra layers of clothing and bring along a bag of more clothes just in case you get colder. Even when you do this, the days you bring all your extra clothing, it will be just warm enough and you won't need them. (When you forget extra clothing, of course you get snowed in your car for a week and have to chew off your own arm to survive.)

A snow storm will hit on the ONE day you have to drive somewhere and it's so bad you have to cancel. This never happens on family events that you don't want to go to of course..

Patches of ice that look like normal bits of pavement or sidewalks and when you step on them you slip and end up on your ass. As the world laughs at you, you're trying to maintain some dignity but end up slipping over and over as you try to get up. While you're sporting a red face and broken wrist, everyone thinks you're not able to laugh at yourself if you get angry at them for laughing instead of helping you.

When you walk outside and take a breath in, your nosehair freezes. As you try to take your second breath, you freeze bits of your throat and you end up coughing away for about five minutes. This only ends when you've got frozen tears on your face.

Having to walk somewhere and by the time you get there, your nose and eyebrows are frozen solid.

You get trapped indoors for weeks at a time, taking in maybe about 10 minutes of fresh air a day as you run from your/your parents car to your place of work/school. After awhile you're happy to get out and do anything, even if it means dragging your sorry ass to a public place. Then once you get there, you're surrounded by other grumpy, stinky people because they all had to waddle over in layers of clothing or deal with the nasty car ride over (remember that people not knowing how to drive in snow thing.)

Everyone around you seems to keep getting ill and trying to infect you. When they succeed, then they babble on about how they felt while they were sick. Being sick sucks.

You realize how horrible TV really has gotten because you've had nothing else to do but watch it. After a few weeks of this shitty tv, any new show they throw at you seems really good. When your brain thaws out in the spring, you go into denial about the horrible TV you watched and try to block out the memories.

You can't hang out in your backyard and have fun by a campfire without freezing your ass off. (Your face is towards the fire so your ass does indeed freeze.)

You have to add 15 to 20 minutes to all your travel time due to people driving slower due to snow/ice.

Snow days seem fun until you're just sitting there alone wondering what to do with the rest of your day and then you're told to go out and shovel the snow.

You end up sitting on your ass eating bad food and getting fat for a few weeks. Then in the spring your fat ass doesn't fit into anything and you feel shitty about it.

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