Insane status messages
By JCP
Random and insane things to put as your status message - for the people who like to do that sort of thing.
Yes, a bunch are from the insane thoughts & ideas list, but to be honest, I'm using this as MY page to get status messages from. So screw the rest of you - I'll do what I want! If it's not credited, it's from my own head and/or TheInsaneDomain, so I don't need to credit it, as I give myself permission to publish it here. NICE and LEGAL.

Life changes so fast - DO something and you can change it. A small change every day amounts to a lot very quickly.

You're never too late for an uprising!

Get together a bunch of friends and discuss their ideas about what master baiters do, what makes them masters and what you can do to become a master baiter. - How to become a master baiter

I check my computer time and it told me its Tuesday and I was like seriously dude thats not funny... - Ver

You can't hear me because I'm not saying anything.

Elephants are not made to hop up and down.

Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good. - Fight Club / Chuck Palaniuk

If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me. - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

What's the point of having a democracy, if everybody's going to vote wrong? - Dick, 3rd Rock from the Sun

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. - Douglas Adams

Space, it seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Fry, Futurma

When I'm in command, every mission's a suicide mission! - Zap, Futurma

We will begin with the firemen, then the math teachers, and so on in that fashion until everyone is eaten. - Alien Zorg(?), Futurma

I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! - Bender, Futurma

Hey, this is mine. That's mine. All of this is mine. Except that bit. I don't want that bit. But all the rest of this is mine. Hey, this has been a really good day.- Cat, Red Dwarf

Well, the thing about a black hole - its main distinguishing feature - is it's black. And the thing about space, the colour of space, your basic space colour, is black. So how are you supposed to see them?- Holly, Red Dwarf

Look, just because it's an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber doesn't mean it's a bad person. - Rimmer, Red Dwarf

Time - Unknown. Location - Unknown. Cause of accident - Unknown. Should someone find this recording, perhaps it will shed light as to what happened here. - Kyrten, Red Dwarf

That settles it. Spankings all around, then.

We voted before, we'll vote now. Thumbs up, we attack. Down, we get outta here. - Futurma

Every day I'm reminded of the things that happened to the people that weren't even there. - Futurma

Never let good science, reason, and logic get in the way of a good conspiracy! - Universe Today comment

I refer you to online sources, which can be changed at any time.

It seems normal when they tell you about it, but then a whole camera crew appears and suddenly it's not so fun anymore.

Bugs like to touch themselves with their antennae while they watch you sleeping.

I apologise for being the only person who truely comprehends how screwed we are! - Dick, 3rd Rock from the Sun

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. - Carl Sagan

Comets giveth and comets taketh away.- Carl Sagan

The important thing is not to stop questioning; curiosity has its own reason for existing.- Albert Einstein

You think I'm sick? Well the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, putdowns, trickledowns, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nickenputz and nimrods! - Duckman

I've got thrills to seek, deaths to defy, matress tags to tear off. - Duckman

Once again I've outwitted a pitifully inadequate opponent by staying one step ahead of em. How exactly did I do that? - Duckman

Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana;
then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless. - Monty Python

Liquid may migrate and if it does... heaven help us!

No way, spank your OWN monkey.

Is this the pantless version?

If a cloud was the same as a fool, how would you feel about rain?

Monkey recovery program. SIGN UP HERE.

I am ROBOT... hear me beep.

If you get a minute, give it to me.  I'm collecting them to get an extra hour.

Gasoline trees and shopping malls... it's all just a bizarre cartoon world.

Damn shampoo commercials, hair isn't that fun.

They should have bags of flavored fingernails for those who like to eat them.

A megaton isn't as much as it once seemed.

No, YOU are the hallucination! Oh wait, that was something else. Nevermind.

I'm not crazy. Don't call me crazy! I'm just not user-friendly! - Roberto, Futurama

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