Big stupid parking lots where no one knows how to park, so you end up a good 2km away from the building, and when the movie is over, your car is sitting all alone under a burnt out parking light - making you fear for your life as you try to get to it.
The price. Just the tickets alone are pretty much the cost of what it would cost to buy the DVD - and the price of the tickets and snacks/beverages is basically the price of the collectors edition DVD version with 3 or 4 DVDs, several alternate endings, and commentaries by everyone who worked on the movie.
Why even bother going to see the movie and come out with nothing, when you could own the DVD?
Popcorn getting stuck in your teeth and that's all you can think about the entire time you're there.
Sharing popcorn with someone who you didn't realize had a cold until after you're halfway through the bag and they've been jamming the hand they cough on into it.
The prices of everything in there.
Packs of kids that somehow always seem to hang around outside, and run around inside.
Armrests that are never enough for anyone to use, much less share with the person beside them.
Previews that go on so long, you forget where you are and what you're there for.
Previews that have stupid quizzes that no one cares about.
People that don't get the joke right away and end up laughing 30 to 50 seconds later - all by themselves.
Other people in the theater with you period.
Having the sound from the theatre next door be so loud it distracts you from the movie you're watching.
People who clap at the end of a movie.
People who insist on making smart-ass remarks the whole way through and you don't even know the person.
Stinky people who sit near you.
Boxes of candy and other snacks that are designed for giants because no NORMAL person can consume that much of the item during ONE movie.
People who bring their kids to movies that aren't for kids, and then stomp out in disgust when it's not suitable for children.
Insanely annoying candy boxes that make a lot of noise but there is SO much candy in the box that it lasts the entire movie.
Having to sit right up front and getting a sore neck.
Walking into a packed theatre and having to wander around looking for a seat while everyone else tries to give you evil looks so you don't sit near them.
Having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie, and then trying to find your seat again.
Love scenes and other mushy moments in movies that make you want to vomit all over.
Couples who make out right in front of you because they don't care about the movie, but YOU do.
Previews for movies that are better than the movie you're about to see.
Previews for the movie you're about to see.
Getting a leg cramp halfway through the movie but you can't stretch it out due to the seats being so close together.
Having the person behind you kick your seat randomly.
Having to sit beside some stranger.
Having to shush someone because they won't shut the hell up during the movie.
Trying to push the seat down when your hands are full with drinks and snacks.
Having to offer the person you're with some of your snacks.
Braindead employees that don't understand what size of item you want and you end up with some massive box of candy that you hate.
Being too cold or hot in the theatre.
People who bring their babies into the theatre and are surprised when they don't sleep the entire time (or at all).
People who laugh REALLY loud.
People that whistle at the sexy people in the movie.
TV commercials playing before the movie.
Having to watch previews for movies that you wouldn't see even if someone paid you.
Wandering around an impossibly large theatre trying to figure out where the hell you need to go to watch the movie.
Stumbling out of a dark theatre into a bright hallway and trying to figure out how to get out of the building.
Automated ticket machines that don't work and end up spitting the wrong tickets.
Having to fart really bad during a really quiet part of a movie.
Getting a tickle in your throat just as the movie begins.
That person who always forgets to turn off their cell phone and it ends up ringing right during a good part of the movie.
Being that person who forgets to turn off their cell phone.
Tripping up/down the stairs and spilling your snacks/drink everywhere.
Being one of those idiots that MUST see the FIRST showing of a movie when it opens and standing in line just to sit in a packed theatre.
Greasy popcorn hands.
Choking on some food/snacks and instead of anyone helping you, they give you evil looks or shush you.