Bugs SUCK!
By JCP
If they would just leave us alone and give us our space there wouldn’t be so many products designed to kill them off. Come on bugs, we’re just asking for a bit of personal space here, and maybe for you not to buzz in our ears. We know there are so many more of you than us, but we can live in peace. In the meantime, here is a list of things about bugs (insects) that suck, and yes, we’re including bees and other stinging insects in this list.

They have creepy bodies which end up being used in horror/sci-fi movies, making us even more fearful of their odd appearance.

Why do they get more legs than we do?

They fly outside your window, letting you know that they’re waiting for you if you dare step outside.

Mosquitos don’t like to just bite once, no, they have to be greedy and keep feeding until you’ve been bitten 50+ times.

Being bitten and having the bite swell up, itching and burning until you’re forced to ice the area or worse yet, visit the hospital.

Being bitten and having the insect infect you with a horrible disease.

Trying to use bug-repellant and having the bugs laugh at you while they still feast on your flesh.

Waking up to the sound of buzzing in your ear, then discovering that while you’ve been asleep, you’ve been ravaged by the very bug that woke you up.

Bugs like to touch themselves with their antennae while they watch you sleeping.

Just before you go to bed, finding a creepy bug in your room and trying to kill it, only it hides and you’re unable to find it. Then you have to decide if you’ll let it roam while you attempt to sleep, or forsake sleep while you hunt it down for an a few hours.

Finding a bug on you, killing it but being unable to shake that feeling that things are still crawling on you.

Having a bug fly into your eye.

Mosquitoes because they literally suck.

Finding out there is a huge and scary bug on you but you can’t reach it and the person with you that could have helped has run away screaming in fear.

Having someone watch a huge bug crawl on you but they don’t say anything because they think it’s funny.

Having someone find a bug and put it on you knowing that you’ll freak out. These types of people are called “sick bastards”.

Getting bit and not realizing it until hours later when suddenly things begin to itch and burn. By then you’re covered in a million bites and begin to get dizzy.

Bugs that fly in your face in swarms.

Those stupid bugs that fly around in the evening in large swarms but don’t seem to actually do anything else.

Bugs that make weird noises, making you think that something alien is following you.

Buying those stupid citronella candles that stink in the hopes they’ll get rid of mosquitos but all it does is make you stink like citronella.

Walking outside and some bug gets angry at you for stepping near the flower it was on so it starts trying to kick your ass.

Those bugs that look like bees but aren’t, freaking you out for no reason.

People who FLIP OUT COMPLETELY at even the smallest bug.

Bugs who jump, adding an element of surprise to your trying to avoid/kill them.

Those giant bumblebees that scare the hell out of you just due to their size and the loudness of their hum.

People who tell you to “settle down, it’s just a bug” while you’re being swarmed by a hive.

People who wear tons of perfume and other scents, then wonder why they’re being attacked by bugs.

Getting bit on the lip and having it swell up so much it looks like you’ve been punched in the mouth.

Seeing them close up and realizing just how insane they look.

The sound they make when scuttling around on the ground.

Their ability to produce thousands of offspring in a matter of days or weeks.

Being completely clothed and still getting bit all over.

Trying to keep them out of your place.

The way they sit on the screen and wait for you to let them in.

Going somewhere beautiful for a vacation and discovering they have the world’s largest and most frightening bugs.

Having the bug bites swell up and itch again days after the initial bite.

Trying to dry yourself off after a shower without reviving bug bites into being itchy.

Finding bugs in your shower stall while you’re showering.

Campground bathrooms and showers that are FILLED with bugs just waiting for you to expose your ass to them.

Being the only person in a group of people that the bugs are attacking.

Swatting at bugs that are attacking you but people think you’re just crazy and yelling at invisible people.

Finding them mating in or on your food/drink.

Having them fly into your face while they’re mating.

Finding them chewing up the only plant(s) in your garden that you like.

Those big stupid bugs that look like giant mosquitoes but aren’t.

People who kill a bug in their house and then leave the smashed remains there as “a warning to the rest of them”.

People who are so crazy about bugs that they barely let anyone into/out of the house and scream at people to shut the doors as quickly as they can.

Going outside to do something and being forced back into your place by bugs that refuse to leave you alone.

Having them fly into your vehicle while you’re driving and trying to sting you or make you veer off the road so the rest of their friends can feast on your dead body.

People who think making that stupid X on the bite will magically make it go away.

People who wear so much bug-spray (or put it on their kids) that it causes nerve damage and convolutions.

Having to put on sunscreen AND bug spray, ensuring that if you sweat, something nasty will get into your eyes.

Having to put up with people that scream and take off running anytime they see a bug.

Giant bugs that land on you and freak you out, making it so you can never relax in that area ever again.

Getting to the point where you feel bugs on you everywhere and the only way to combat the feeling is to roll around on the floor, shower repeatedly and wrap yourself in plastic wrap.

Getting bit by a bug and then realizing that it was actually an alien and has now taken control of your body.

Having bugs laying eggs in/on you.

Having a bug crawl into your ear.

Having a bug crawl up your nose.

People who actually like the bites and then annoyed with you when you start complaining about yours.

People who get bit and then just HAVE to show you each one.

Seeing a bug crawl into a pet’s nose/ear.

Forgetting you’ve been bitten and absent-mindedly itching the bite, encouraging it to flare back up.

Itching so much that you end up bleeding, and discovering that the pain is better than the itch. You end up scratching all your bites to scabs and end up scared for life.

People who tell you that bugs are more afraid of you than you are of them. Bugs don’t know what fear is AT ALL!

Drinking alcohol and having enough that you don’t feel the bites until you’ve sobered up.

Bug shit and spit that is invisible to the human eye and you know it’s on everything that is outside and that you touch.

People who try to save the life of EVERY bug out there and get angry when you kill one that is feasting on you.

Going outside for less than 10 minutes and returning with every limb being peppered with bites.

The marks that are left behind while the bites heal, making people think you've either broken out in acne or have tumbled down a hill.

Trying to watch TV and having all the bugs in the place fly at it because they think it's the sun or something.

People who collect bugs and think it's cute to let them crawl on you.

Having long hair and the ends of it feels like there are bugs crawling on your skin.

The way they whisper of your death and no one else can hear them.

The bugs that manage to make a sound that makes you lock the door and fear for your life because it sounds more like an alien invader than any sort of earth-based bug.

When really large bugs try to take off with stuff you own or your pet, and no one believes how big the bug really was.

Bugs that fly in front of the TV or laptop screen while you're trying to look at something.

Bugs that fry themselves on a lightbulb and then cook there, filling the room with the smell.

People who go to spray on bug-repellent and end up spraying you in the eyes and mouth.

 

Main : Articles : Lists : Interviews : Stories : Questionnaire : Killing the Sims : Insane Q&A :
: About Us : FAQs : New & Updated :

*This site contains material that is intended to offend some viewers. Viewer discrection is advised.*
All content (c)TheInsaneDomain & respective writers. SPREADING INSANITY SINCE 1996!