Herbert (the sock monkey) interview.
By JCP via email - July 2004-

1. When was the last time you were given shit for something?
JCP. You gave me shit for sending too many emails. I just think that people want to see a section with me, since I'm a sock monkey and DC is in hiding. I love this website though, and I love you JCP, so you should let me on it more often. In fact, I'm just super happy that you even sent me this email!!!!!!!!

2. If asked to be on a reality show where you just live in the house with other people and there are cameras all the time, would you agree to it if they paid you a million dollars?
Oh of course! In fact, I'd do it for free. I think that people could learn a lot from a sock monkey like me! I'd show them how to properly care for shoes, as shoes are very important.

3. Do you have a favorite or 'lucky' number?
No, I love all numbers equally.

4. What do you do when you're bored?
Play with dinosaur ghosts, play with my tail, send you emails. Ok, honestly? I play with shoes. I love them! They feel so nice on my feet, on my face and on my tail. Sometimes I just play in them for hours.

5. Do you play videogames and if so, what is your favorite and why?
No I don't. Since I'm a sock monkey, I don't really have fingers which makes it difficult to play video games. Shoes are the only fun I need, besides this site of course!

6. Have you done anything interesting in the last 2 months?
Well I tried to have a photo shoot for sock monkey porn, but you said no and kicked me out. I thought you'd want to actually participate for once, but apparently you're not interested in that. Basically though, I don't think that should ruin my chances of being in future sock monkey porn. I mean, I'm a sock monkey! I think you will eventually let me participate if I just show you what a wonderful monkey I am and how I can play with more then just shoes. All I have to do is PRETEND that the people are shoes, and I'm ready to go!

7. If I punched you in the face, would you hit me back?
I probably wouldn't feel much on my face, I'm pretty tough and full of fluff. I'd cry though JCP, and feel very sad that you hated me that much. Maybe we could go out for dinner and talk it through?

8. What is the worst part about your job?
When I try to use a lighter and my arm catches on fire. Then I have to have someone stomp it out and I get all embarrassed.

9. Why is there no question ten?
You probably hate me too much to give me one. Did the others get a question ten? Tell me the truth JCP!

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