New Years Resolutions for Everyone
12/31/05 - by drunkennewfiemidget -

Here are my New Year's Resolutions for everyone. If everyone followed these simple rules, the world would be a better place.

  • When referring to a URL, / is a FORWARD slash, and \ is a backwards slash. Backwards slashes are NOT used in website URLs. I'm sick of hearing all those people on the radio refer to websites as backslash stuff. ITS A FORWARD SLASH, PEOPLE.
  • In regards to my last point, if you have a business, and you're having some sort of sale, then just pay the twenty god damned dollars, and register a new domain -- if you want to be even cheaper, have your IT guys create a virtual host. Like instead of
  • When you turn in your car, you are supposed to turn into the NEAREST lane, and then signal and do your lane change. If you turn into a farther lane, you risk an accident on account of stupid.
  • THERE IS NO APOSTROPHE IN THE POSSESSIVE FORM OF ITS. I pointed this out to Amanda today when I found it incorrect in an article in the Toronto Sun, but she was quick to inform me that the Toronto Sun is actually notorious for bad spelling and grammar. That's disturbing.
  • To all you journalists out there: STOP THE ALLITERATION! ITS NOT FUCKING CLEVER! Headlines in newspapers are always horribly alliterative, or are really punnish, and it's not funny or clever; it's stupid.
  • To all you marketers out there: stop it. Seriously. Just stop it. Bad commercials, commercials that aren't funny, stupid ads, and TV spots that leave you wondering: "what the hell were they advertising there?"
  • Those yellow lines in parking lots aren't just suggestions, and not there for you to park on top of. Park between them. Especially those of you in pickup trucks who think having a truck precludes you from following the rules.
  • The middle of the aisle is not an acceptable place to stop and admire a product at the store. There are people behind you who want to get by. Those people have shit to do. Just move to the side and look at the products and leave enough room for them to get by.
  • If you accidentally run into somebody in public, whether on the road, at a store, the mall, or in an office hallway, apologise. It takes half a second to say "oops, I'm sorry.".
  • Stop supporting no-talent musicians and actors. Just because a song is catchy does not mean it's good. This includes (but is not limited to): The Killers, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Hillary Duff, Lyndsay Lohan, David Caruso, Franz Ferdinand, Celine Dion, Curtis "Fiddy Cent" "Useless Fuck" Jackson, Mariah Carey, everyone who's been through the American Idol system, and all boy bands.
  • VOTE! If you're Canadian, there's a vote coming up in January. Get out and vote. You have absolutely no right to complain about the current states of affairs in the country if you don't go out and make your voice heard.
  • Lose the defeatist attitude. I'm an NDP supporter here in Canada. I have heard large organisations actually have the balls to say, "we need to get the Liberals out of office, and because the NDP cannot win, we're going to vote conservative in this election." That kind of defeatist attitude will end up being the reason the NDP doesn't have a shot. If everyone who said, "they can't win" voted the way they truly believed, I bet you they'd do a helluva lot better than you all expect. But this doesn't just apply to politics. If there's something you want to do in life, get your ass out there and do it. Believe in yourself, believe in your causes, believe in what you believe in, and do something about it. Nobody got anywhere in life sitting in their couch going, "bah, I'd never succeed anyway."
  • Learn to love yourself. No seriously. So many people out there are so down on themselves, and there's no god damned reason for it. I can call you an assface all I want, but in the end, the only person that matters to you should be you -- learn to love yourself, and ignore what everyone else has to say about it. It's not relevant.