Am I getting old?
6/21/05 - by drunkennewfiemidget -

Maybe it's a sign of the times. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe people are fucking stupid.

I'm guessing the latter.

Most fashions, and trends I can at least see the merit or enjoyment in. Today's trends just confuse the shit out of me.

We start with these. The new style of jeans you can buy. I'm not sure what you actually call that style, so I'll take the liberty of naming it myself: "someone spilled bleach on them so we're charging you more." Sound good? People are paying MORE money for jeans that look as though they've either been worn a few hundred times already, or at the very least been very badly bleached. I'm confused by it all, really. People think this shit looks good? That's absurd. I'm going to go buy a whole bunch of Fruit of the Loom t-shirts, bleach the shit out of them, and sell them for $30 a pop. I'll be rich! RICH!
Do me a favour and try to get past just how ugly that bastard is long enough to notice his hat. It's on partially sideways. I'm even more confused by this than I am by the faded jeans thing. You see, faded jeans at least still function enough to cover your legs and protect them from the cold, the sun, or whatever else jeans are supposed to do. Putting your hat on sideways completely eliminates its purpose. You know, to keep the sun off of your face. I can even understand back in the day when people put their hats on backwards: it wouldn't keep the sun out of your face, but it would at least keep the sun off of the back of your neck. This way, aside from getting you ridiculed for looking like a complete asshat, will make you also get some pretty fucked up tan lines.

And lets not forget about everybody's favourite, the pants too damn low problem. This one makes less sense than the last two combined. First, why the fuck would anyone want to see your underwear? Is it supposed to convey some sort of sexual prowess? I feel sorry for any woman banging these guys. If they're incapable of putting their pants on, what makes you think they can work a bra strap? There's also the whole lower back and hip issues you'll develop as a result of trying to walk like that. There's nothing stylish about having to reach down 3 feet to get to the bottom of your pocket, either.

You all look like fucking goons. Pull up your pants, fix your hat, and buy some pants that are all one colour and haven't been dropped in a vat of bleach.

Learn to be a leader, not a follower. Get a backbone.