Almost killed.
11/14/05 - by Mzebonga -

I've made more than a number of rants about drivers who almost kill me while I'm cycling to and from work. Frankly, I'm getting fed up with it but have taken to it with stoic resignation. Until last night, that is.

Lat night, I'm turning into the street just before the one I live in and some aged jackass almost takes me out. Now, I'm well aware of the dangers of cycling around this city - I get myself done up like a cross between the Blackpool Tower and an NFL linebacker; I have lights, I have a very unsexy helmet and an equally unsexy flurescent jacket.

Conceded, I neglected to wear my macho jacket yesterday and I regret that but the corner I refer to is extremely well lit.

I'm not a novice cyclist: I know the corners on my route home that are going to get me killed if I'm not careful and this is definitely one of them.

As a precursor to my turning, I slowed and moved to the middle of the road (to signify my desire to turn soon to any morons who like to overtake cyclists even when they are signaling). I also did what I was meant to do which is extend my arm to signal my turn well in advance of my turning.

I'm aware that this moron behind me is trying to find out what I had for breakfast by shining his full-beam headlights up my rectum. So I took the turn quickly. And the ignorant cunt still almost hit me.

At this point I yelled at him "I FUCKING SIGNALLED". Given that I am ADAMANT that I did this, he should have been much further back than he was. I noticed that he stopped and decided to just cycle off - it wasn't worth the hassle.

A few 100 yards down the road, I noticed that I had some headlights back up my ass again and that I was being followed - this jerk, not satisfied with nearly killing me, wants to follow me home.

So I got off my bike a little bit before my flat and waited for him - not wanting to show him where I live and not knowing if he's a 350lb weight-lifter.

Out gets this old guy and starts saying "I almost killed you back there". HOW NICE OF YOU TO NOTICE, YOU OLD PRICK!! I'm sure that you would have been equally alert to the fact if you had succeeded.

We proceeded to argue for a few minutes - he claimed I didn't signal and wanted an apology and I knew that I had signalled and wanted him to fuck off. I wasn't going to make any concession just to get rid of him - he was blatantly negligent and wanted to make me culpable. I insinuated as much to him. He claimed he was going to report me to the police. I gave him my name and address and walked away as he cried "You'd have done well to apologise!"

I called the police to get a statement reported at the time, gather some thoughts as to whether I was culpable for anything and if I'd really have to answer for what was really nothing - the fact remains that he didn't hit me.

The lasting fact was that this asshole followed me home. He could have been anyone - axe murderer or a gang of teenage thugs. What did he hope to achieve? Absolution? The cockbag could have killed me! He wandered around the car at one point as if to square of against me (I get the impression he thought I was some impudent kid) and quickly wandered back around once I stopped learning on my bike and stood to my full height (about 6 to 8 inches taller than him).

My lasting impression is that it was one of those occasions where an old bastard wanted to give a piece of his mind to a youngster after he (not the youngster) had fucked up. Thinking about the fact that he could have been anybody, the tables could easily have turned - with today's youth, he did well not to bump into the kid of youngster who would assault him or stick a knife in his throat.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I understand why kids do these things.