Fake Work
Things that you can do that look like work, but just give you time to imagine yourself working somewhere else.
Print out a long technical document. Read it very slowly (or not at all), and randomly highlight sentences. Frown often and look like you're trying to grasp what is written.
Spend hours creating templates for meetings, fax sheets, documents with various company letter heads, and company backgrounds.
Forward yourself numerous articles on various work related items. Keep them at home for awhile, then email them back to yourself (remove all the forwarding crap). Anyone monitoring your email will be impressed.
If on a personal call and someone comes by, say "Ahh.... I see the problem now." then just say "yep, uh huh, exactly" and roll your eyes at the person who is standing there. They will eventually thing you're speaking to a stupid person and just leave because nothing is worth waiting out a stupid call.
Print off lots of documents and spend time hole-punching them, putting them binders, labeling them and then finding a place for them.
Forward internet articles to your boss all the time. Not only does it impress them for awhile (if they can read), but you appear intelligent and in touch. Eventually your boss will just filter out your email messages and if asked about anything, you can just say "i emailed it to you... didn't you read my mail?"
Spend hours 'cleaning up' your hard drive and going through your sent items. |
How To Deal With Stupid Bosses
How to manage them so you can read this site at work.
When told to do something that can't be done... argue a bit, then go play solitaire for awhile. After about 2 or 3 hours, come back and say "I tried... sorry, it can't be done." Usually this will satisfy their insistence on their ideas at least be tried.
Don't provide solutions, just more and more issues and questions.
Do EXACTLY what they tell you. This works well for bosses who have no idea what's going on and only use vague statements. You can't get in trouble for doing what they say...
Make references to the nice weather and how you should would like to be out there golfing. Eventually they will grow tired of hearing you and go play golf.
When your boss comes near you, start to sniffle or cough... and be sure to warn them that you 'might be getting that nasty cold that so and so has had for the last month.' I have found that this quickly sends bosses hiding for cover in their office.
Send formal proposals for everything including making coffee, and all other miniscule tasks. Be sure to discuss them frequently with your boss, and they will learn to avoid you.
Create things like safety checklists and perform them often. Claim the safety department requires it... or better yet... it's a QS requirement.
On really nice days, keep bringing up unsolvable issues and problems until they get 'stressed' and go play golf. |