Things you can do with a sock monkey tail.
By Herbert (Edited to make sense by JCP)

Can throw things further than using your paw.

Dress it up with a face and you've got a new friend to talk to.

It can hang onto a mirror or hair dryer while you brush your hair and brush your teeth.

Can help you hang upside down and reach things somewhere below.

Can jump over it like skipping rope.

Help you splash water when swimming.

Catch things that you missed with your paws.

Give you away when hiding during hide and seek.

Can poke at people and things when your paws are busy.

Help test the bath water before getting in.

Can wipe your mouth while eating when your paws are all sticky.

Sometimes they get tangled with other sock monkey tails.

Can plug up the drain in the sink or shower when you've lost the plug.

Trip people either on purpose or by accident.

Can give EXTRA big hugs.

Help you climb things.

Can help you tie ribbons in bows while wrapping presents.

Can poke you or others in the eye while it's wagging around.

Could kill you if it gets stuck in your throat and you choke.

Help to hold another ice cream cone when they're on sale/offer.

Give extra good bitch slaps.

You can hold three people's hands while skipping in the park.

Help you not get lost in a crowd because you can hang onto the tail or put a flag on it for everyone to see.

Help balance you. (Useful while trying naughty things.)

Can dip it in honey (or something equally yummy) and suck on it for a sweet treat.

Hold another ninja weapon or light sabre.

Can be used to operate an extra controller for a two player game.

Can drum with three sticks instead of two.

Extra vote when raising paws.

Get run over when you think you've crossed the street all the way but you haven't.

Get caught in car doors.

Easier to fold things like blankets.

Can open doors while your paws are full.

Put a camera on the end of it and peak around corners safely.

When scared you can wrap it around your eyes and ears.

Can hook it together with another sock monkey tail and make it twisty.

Can use those unmatched socks as warmers so you don't have to throw them out.

Can sweep under the bed with it.

Help you braid hair.

Reach things up high that you can't reach with your paws.

Help you itch the middle of your back.

Reaches blankets and pulls them on top of you so you're warm.

Swats at bugs.

Can get it sticky and still have clean paws.

Wag it when it's happy.

Help wipe tears away when sad.

Get painting done quicker with another brush/roller.

Can pet three dogs or cats at the same time.

Help to do tricky secret hand/tail shakes.