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: January 2005 Results

What if you woke up handcuffed to the steering wheel of a car, the keys in the ignition, the car in drive and your foot propped up on the brake pedal?

Took ages for me to think of an answer for this... and I still can't. I'm probably going to get a monkey butt for this. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm going to kill myself now. - Mort

damn...i coulda SWORN I said no more kinky car sex...hmm, i don't remember anything from the night before, uhoh!! better check to see that i don't have a 'dude' or 'sweet' tattoo on my back.., but hey! if i do that means i get to have pLEASURE from the hot chicks, oh!, but wait, they are not hot chicks, they are evil deranged sock monkeys in hot chick form! all they wanted me for was SEX!! waaaaa, i feel USED!!!- okay

Somebody knocked me out and put me here!!! I'm going to die!!!!!! - InsaneEvilBarbieMelter

If your foot is on the brake pedal, then you don't really have to worry about anything. Unless you're srupid enough to remove your foot from the brake pedal. In which case, you should be exterminated immediately- Venomous

Not remove my foot until whomever has donethis to be has been run down, or i am smooshed. BUT, in order to figure out who did it i might have to run down everyone i see>< - Eva the Goddess

I'd go joyriding. Old women = 100 points. Old women and shopping = 250 points. JCP = 1,000,000 points.- Mzebonga

:( thats hurt my feelings, i got no legs!- Dark-angel

Wow what a wild party.- bluemonkeyfearer

i would reach for my coffee and start getting so revved up on caffiene that i wouldn't feel the pain when i started to chew off my arm. i would then pretend i was a cat and run into a grocerystore, and while i was there i would eat a few chocolate bars and a mt. dew amp because they are delicious. i would then take a few stay awake pills and run to antartica.- b_write

Scream.- Blah

ask what the fuck happened- heretic

I'd go VROOM VROOM!- voggit

I'm a professional anti-theft device. I usually wait for my brother to come out and turn me off.- j0eg0d

Wouldn't be the first time- weirdDAR

first i would be glad that my foot was at least on the brake pedal, then i would regret not paying back that $2000 to the mafia.- SupraPhantom

i would immediatly try to smack myself in the face in order to awaken myself, when my hand was stopped by the handcuffs i would most likly try to kick myself to once again achieve alertness, this would then cause my foot to leave the brake and the car would jolt forward over the cliff, as i laughed at the reality of my dream.- shwee

i would stasrt riding it- stopasking

rip the steering wheel up get out of the car...remove the handcuffs with some sort of tool dispose of the steering wheel and beat the shit out of my car..next step..call the cops and report a vandalism- silly bastard

HOLY FUCK MY HISTORY TEACHER IS GETTING ME BACK AGAIN FOR NOT DOING HER HOMEWORK!- Crack Monkey Strikes Again

damn that can't be too healthy, can it? anyways.. I'm guessing there'll probably be a cliff ahead.. but I'd try and steer away.. and then.. wait.. my foot is on the brake pedal?then isn't the car not moving.. so.. I'd gnaw at the hand cuffs for a bit.. and try to escape- SG*

i would bite through the chains ith my diamond coated platinum teeth and then eat the whole car and go and get a geo metro for desert.- thathinguywhois

Uhhh.... say what? :| - Acidic Pandah

If the car wasn't alreading on, I'd attempt to start it.......but with my luck it would explode and my guts, along with car parts, would be flung all over the place. Sharp scraps of metal would fly through the air at high speeds, decapitating whoever got in their way. A sexy model would be decapitated and a necrophiliac monkey would come and fuck her ass....- weirdmonker

I'd think, 'Well, I guess that wasn't the police officer from the Village People. Wait...isn't he dead??' - McDiablo

Doughnut. -me

i dont know- juggalo

take my foot off the brake put it on the gas pedal,stomp it,and start screaming"THELMA AND LOUISE,"IM'COMEING WITH YA'"WAIT UP!!!"- rayyo77

With the flexibility of a Chinese acrobat, i'd reach with my foot for the bottle of vodka nestled comfortably on the passenger seat, and take a swig, while removing my foot from the brake pedal, yelling "yee-haw!" to anyone i may pass by or run over.- SiNiSTaR

thats a good one- shiz

Am I on a cliff?- harbingerofhell

Can't answer without knowing a bit more about the situation. More I need to know : is the car on top of another vehicle?Where am I in this car... on a road, an intersection, my parking spot? What kind of car? Is it a toy car? My car? Your car? For ease on my mind, I'm just going to say that I am right outside of a REALLY good breakfast place. In a parking spot. And if I were, I would put my car into park, turn off the engine. Life my foot off the brake. And then enjoy some DELICIOUS pancakes, waffles, hashbrowns, and perhaps a bagel with cream cheese. Yeah, I love my carbs. So piss off. - OutOfPeace

i would go back to sleep- South West Suicide

I'd turn the radio on, we all need music.- Cineworld Jesus

Freak out and try to keep drivin until the car ran out of gass- kala

(Mission Impossible Theme Song) I'd quickley try anything i could to...wait..if my foot was just propped up on the brake pedal i'd take it off....- Monkey123

I would first pour yogert on the steering wheel using my free hand so I could slip my cuffed hand out, then get out of the car and see what kind it is. If it is a car shaped like a rotton banana peel that underwent plastic surgery in a hospital for broken egg shells, I would keep it. If it was a buggy, I would pull out my TNT and set it underneathe the car, then light it with a match only to discover that the match is actually my finger. Spending too much time staring at my burning finger, the TNT goes off, and a little rubber ducky pops out of it instead of blowing up. I then run away screaming, "IT'S THE CHICK OF THE APOCOALYPSE!!" until the pervert I hate throws pink cake icing at my face again. I hate him.- GalaxyDancer

huh- chunky monkey

Well, those idiots eithar didn't know the diferance between the break pedal and drive pedal... to cause some awesome movie fashionable drive off mountain top/hill side/ san francisco cliff action. Where a contradictorally placed slow moving granny and a ocd suffering mother of a newborn in a carriage crossing a empty road, who I'll "nearly" kill, ...but come on this is reality, so they will suffer termendously give hope to witnesses then give a dramatic and sudden death... the baby will most definitly whimper its first word before his permanent rest... as his mommys torso... lay inches away and her flattened legs soars above them... awwhhh... be way better if the kid survives and becomes completley dramatized... but Come On, this is re-al-ity... So anyways, although the situation didn't unravel to the veiwers perferances... I'll die of carbon monoxide poisoning... or if I Am outside..... I'd wait for the gas to burn out, hubby to come home... walk inside completley unaware of my screams.. or so he'll say.... damn... it was him.. wasnt it... fuck.... then the neighbours will have to run over and chainsaw the cuffs off... or I'd simply sleep... walk up.. feel.. sexually aroused... um by day 17 Í will do some cannalbilism.. for the heck of it.. then well... freedom would be my main priority... above figuring out where the hell did I put my taco... it's been weeks...- Gargle Cough Choke Die

What if geeezz give me a bottle of gibsons finest...and what ifs become o so real..- ver

If I was able to I would drive to the police station parking lot, then I would honk untill someone would help me as I keep my foot propped upon the brake pedal waiting. If I couldn't drive to the station I would honk till someone would help me with my foot on the brake patiently waiting. If that didn't work and it wasn't my car I would slowly hit something to get someones attention so they may help. - Mavis

id take it off and steer/drive the car to a pancake house....mmmm, pancakes with maple syrup!!!best thing for the mornings!- keli weli

push the brake pedal - dumbo

Raise my foot off the brake pedal... do some interesting damage unable to be blamed upon me since i woke up in that state and its obviously a stupid prank gone awry (to not somehow seal the pedal to my foot, geesh)... or a death attempt.. which I'm quite use't to. Continue to Break things yadda, yadda, go on a joy-ride since i dont own a car or know how to drive it should be double entartaining and far differnt from rabid animal or poison...probably a sorry note from all those midget molesters who are always driving in the dark with tainted windows in there volvos, well, if only that where true... *looks out the window at an imaginary pink car with completly dark windows*... when won't they bore themselves... *licks hands*-K/S

Drive back to my house.- Khaki

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