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september 2003

what if you wake up one day and discover that everyone is super nice
to each other and always polite and happy?

That would be horrifying, I'd know for a fact then that they really were plotting against me the entire time. I would seek sanctuary in my closet, stocking up on condiment packets for nourishment and hope to hell that a corncob miraculously lodged up someone's ass causing a chain reaction of inhospitable moods, distracting everyone from their original plan to kill me and bringing the world once again back to normal behavior. -Kitten

Kill myself! Whats the fun in that?-The A Man

I'd be like wtf?? and sit in a dark corner and stare at them suspiciously for a while...then I'd get it and leap up no longer afraid..rip off their elaborate masks and costumes...throw some seeds at them and run to my spaceship..-FartMonkey

well...its about time...the worlds been quite a hell to most people-leigh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!-Mzebonga

oooohhhhh....-happypurplemush

Then I would be have woken up to find myself in Czechoslovakia and what i'm hearing that sounds polite is actually their own language and if translated 'Hello, have you had a nice day' would become ' I wish you would fall down, swallow your tongue and choke on your own vomit'. Either that or I went to Canada....-mavis

there's definately something wrong. it must be the water or it could be the effect of the thinning of the ozone. definately something wrong. maybe the end is really really near...-hill

Happy?Please define...-SlaveScream

Its a plot! ITS A PLOT! They all been so nice and friendly because they just want me to lend my black stick to them... NO! NO! NO! FORGET IT!!!-DZ

i would eat some food and go to the see a show about a dog, a talking dog and a car that rides on water and jerry lewis would play the dog and then i would ask him politely to eat dog food and he'd have to eat the dog food because i woke up and everyone was super nice and happy and polite and he would be happy to eat the dog food, HAPPY, and i would be happy also, happy to watch jerry lewis eat dogfood, thats what I think would happen.-Ralph Wigum

freak out and go back to sleep. walk around naked.-evilwalnut

id do a little dance and have sex with lots of ladies-skulleosis

I'd just hit myself on the side of the head a couple of times. It's obvious I'm having one of those nightmares about work again. "Hello, how are you today? Yes I'm good thankyou. That comes to $20.35 Do you have a fly by's card? No? Any cash out? Ok. That's $9.65 change. Have a nice day, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT" -Nelson

i would immediately contemplate suicide.-hip stylin leXXXy

umm..go insane and kill everyone..-SG*

first, i would get very naked and put some sort of magical honey all over my body and then id go into a field and, wait, what was the question?-larold (but my good friends call me larold

some stupid tv family show. i must still be sleeping...-Germs

i would show them how to do it right, damnit! this world can't handle all that NICE stuff. but before that i would take advantage of everybody's niceness to get what i wanted.-strykkerr

I'd most likely screw it all up by being mean to each and every person...on purpose. -weirdDAR

I would ask them for sexual favors. And when they go down on me, I would check their head and necks for scars or implants, while pretending to give them a head-massage. Repeat this, and if I didn’t find anything, I would put on a lot of weight, get acne, a suspensor belt, and flout around kissing and licking people with an oily face.-G.Rasputin

I'd light them on fire just to see if they remain polite and happy while they are burning....burning oh-so brightly....-McDiablo

i'd take away their valium and things will go back to normal-SiNiSTaR

I would go back to sleep..in hopes of waking up again and realising that when i previously did wake up, it was actually just a really bad nightmare.-LIZVICIOUS

It must be Threat Con Ultra-Violet. If you so much as frown at a dog pissing on your car we're gonna haul your ass off to jail for being a threat to others. *nod and smile*-Doegs

I'd be afraid, very afraid. Then I would remember the shotgun in my closet...think happy thoughts, think very happy thoughts of mass homicide...-ferretchick

Then suddenly I'd realize that the arian race always preferred cheese to milk, and flatulate.-doctordetroit

I would commit suicide- that sort of thing depresses me-Elle the depressed cow

NICE WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!-patty

I would walk around with a stick, smack people, smile and apologise. Then keep this up until they return to normal or I become bored. Which ever comes first.-Oopa

i would run for prez of the states-wikidklown

"Could you make my bed for me?" "Thank you." "Please make me some breakfast." "How nice of you." "Could you finish this fifty page report by 8am tomorrow?" "You're the best" (and so on)-...Oopa

No one, and I repeat, NO ONE was supposed to spill the beans about the coming apocolapse! ... Posted on an internet message board, you say? Billboards and Commercials too? Geez, I'm always the last to know.-Angel

HI EVERYONE *heart*-Trixie

Then I would be in heaven and jus tlive it up while it last. For I bet it would only be for that one day. Which sucks big time. I wish it was forvever. Smooches to the world if it does.-T.P.

I would scream until I ran out of breath. Because that would mean aliens have taken over the planet and deleted everyones reality.-Harbinger

if that were to happen.....jeezus... i mite find myself killing myself.... The Devil has finally come to take over the world! ahhhhhhh! run! dont fall for his cruel jokes! dont fall into his trap! its a trap! a trap i say! ahhhhhhhhh!-JimBoBob

i will bite my hand to wake up from the dream-abdu

this is a tough question. it would be nice but we would eventually get bored, grow irritated about it, and then our suppresed anger would go off like a powder keg and ignite WWIII. wow, i'm pretty stoned right now, i should shut up.-duch bag

Is that supposed to be the shit that hits the fan when hell freezes over? What are we supposed to do with all these guns? I live in America you know. I have enough trouble sleeping at night. I guess we'll have to take up quilting or ceramics to work out our angst. -Truly Pathetic

I'd run in circles scream and shout. I've stumbled into the world of Care Bears and I desperately need to get out. -frolic is a funny word

I would freak -Keli

Ive experienced that, it was all quiet except for creepy gleams coming from peoples teeth as they smiled at each other, i was in a room at the fire station and everyone was happy...and smiling...and polite... I couldnt stand it anymore and i screamed "fuck!!!" then ran out of the building.Then I went to church everone was laughing and smiling and the preist was talking and I couldnt Take it anymore!!!So I screamed FUCK!! and ran out of the church. Then i got home and my family said hello when i came in the door so i slapped them all! and screamed FUCK!!! and ran away.But the next day everone hated me..all was normal... -so You wish to see my penis...

i would mess things up n be disgruntled.....i like unhappiness-vladamir

not possible.i am not ever polite, so there without me not EVERYONE in the world wud b i mean i am prtty tll so i do count very strongly.if u think about it.but dont think about cos if u do it will mke ur hewad hurt n hed aches rnt gud cos paracetamol dnt always work,especially if u tuk em s a kid then u ve to take summat stronger like nurofen.....and the moral 2 the story......dont eva fuck a donkey.-keli_x_james

I'd thank God for the decriminalization of marijuana.-mahatma

Time to bring out ol' Shiela the shotgun conceiled within my mattress again....-ferretchick

Well, this may as well do some good. I think there would be less murders , wars, and racial/religious conflicts due to this. Maybe it wouldn't do any good, maybe it would make people fight over who's the happiest, and who knows more about "dinner table etiquette"; thus causing Table Wars ! Children would be used as snippers on their roofs to watch other people, and if they weren't happy and nice enough, they would have to shoot them. Riots,stabbings,and murders would take place in family resturaunts and day-carses or anywhere else you would find a crying baby , they wern't happy ! They must be destroyed ! Neighbors would go insane over who is nicer or happier, some commit suicide fearing the horrible truth that their neighbor has a brighter smile.... Or maybe just that first part. --Me

Oh NO! I'm in my own personal hell resmbling the Andy Griffith Show! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!-FartMonkey

I'd go puke on the daisies.-Babyfreak

id go on a rampage killing people at random with a ball point pen-asmodeus

shut up!-BritneySpears

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september 2003