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september 2003

so some guy is dressing up like a cop and going door to door teaching people about
being polite to others... what if he comes to your door?

There's those damn nice people again. I'd return the polite gesture and invite him in for tea, slip a few sedatives into his cup and steal his left kidney. Of course since I'm polite, I'd place his unconscious body in a tub of ice so he wouldn't bleed to death. Oh wait, that's been done before.-Kitten

Kick him in the nuts and run!!!!!!-The A Man

I'd wait patiently for him to ring the bell. When he does, I send an affiliate out the back door around to the front yard, and come up behind him silently. Then I swing open the door and point a sawed off shotgun in his face and scream jibberish at him. When he backs away, my affiliate will grab him and shove him inside. We will duct tape over his mouth and eyes (leaving the nostrils clear for legal precautions) and then probably do something dumb like give him a lot of body piercings and paint him purple or something...steal his clothes..put him in a shopping cart and park it in the middle of an intersection..hahahaha...sounds fun-FartMonkey

dressing up like a cop...hmm...so not a real cop...and he'll gonna teach me to be polite? well...i'll give him 3 minutes...no 5...yeah just 5 minutes...just enough for my patience to run off and if he didnt stop...he'll see just how he failed-leigh

I'd invite him in and feed him drugged cookies, then I'd hang him upside down in my attic and swing from him like he was a bellrope screaming "The bells! The bells!".-Mzebonga

That's what bazookas are for.-happypurplemush

I arrest him (claiming to be an undercover agent myself) for impersonating an officer and inform him that his badge has a 5 code number instead of six which gave him away. Then I man handle him into my ford escort whilst saying please and thank you.-mavis

definately slam the door at his face. reopen it and to do it again till he leaves. either that or i'll tell him straight; " Look buddy, stop pretending being soo fucking nice and trying to teach us being polite. WTF are you doing here telling me stuff I'M SUPPOSED TODO??? and that is being polite??? fucking holier than thou thinking assholes!" SLAAMMM DA DOOR!!! -hill

I'd grab his pistol and shove the barrle down his throat and tell him that I loved him.......-SlaveScream

I will dress like a cop too, A REAL COP, and arrest him and dish out... THE PUNISHMENT! Soak him in fish oil and dump him in alley filled with CATS!-DZ

My dad is a policeman but he isnt very polite sometimes but i like his uniform and he is the CHIEF of police which is like being the chief of the indians except its not. I like badges because there shiny and they taste metal.-Ralph Wigum

ask him *politely* to fuck off-evilwalnut

id smack him in the head with my penis and say good day-skulleosis

I smile and politely ask him if I can look at his shiny black stick. Being the polite policeman he is, he obliges with a whistle and a tip of his hat. Then while his hat is slightly tipped over his eyes, I catch him by suprise and shove the stick up my arse. HA! weren't expecting that WERE you? YOU thought I was goin to HIT him with it. BUT NO! I'M original! I must be original! Must get good answer awarD!!!!-Nelson

kick him in the balls, or lack there of-hip stylin leXXXy

he better hope he doesn't have a gun being dressed up like that...its not good for his health...-SG*

thats a good question. and since im a genius i have a very intelligent answer. but the problem is that because im such an amazingly wise, insightful, good looking genius, my esoteric answer won't be understood by most of the people who read it, so you can see why its pointless for me to waste my time answering this simple-minded question and then trying to explain the complicated and complex reasoning behind it. instead of doing all of that, i will leave you with part of a quote by albert einstein. "Imagination is more importa..." -larold (but my good friends call me larold

"Shouldn't you be out arresting bad guys or something instead of walking around all day beggin for money? Do your frikin job!"-Germs

i would eat him. then i would steal his "uniform" and go to the rest of the doors and preach about how this world just needs more crime and violence and drugs, because i am out of work and am reduced to going door to door to tell people stuff hoping they take pity on me and toss me some money.-strykkerr

I'd slam the door in his face while screaming "How's this for polite?" Then I get my ass kicked...thanks a lot.-weirdDAR

I would be appalled at his lack of respect for my household, showing up like a cop... I would then ask him if he wanted to join my Village People club, complimenting his behind.-G.Rasputin

I'd invite him inside my house and show him what is considered as being "polite" in my household. This includes: Screaming loudly, shattering glass bottles over the head, kicking, punching, stabbing out eyeballs and drinking the sweet, sweet eye juices, having your bum poked and, finally, stabbing oneself through the heart with a spoon. -McDiablo

i'd invite him in, and since he's polite he'll do as i say, and then i'll politely tell him to sit down, whereby i'll politely tie him up and begin to politely chop him up into polite little chunks with my trusty cleaver.-SiNiSTaR

then ill invite him in and teach him about being rude to others-LIZVICIOUS

Being the whimp that I am I'll stand on the stoop and talk with him for a half hour and as he's leaving he'll tell me, "The polite thing to do would have been to invite me inside. Have a nice day."-Doegs

"You're not really a cop! You bastard! You're Santa Claus....I always knew the post office was behind this!"-ferretchick

I'd ask him if he ate doughnuts, smoked weed, or ever accepted oral sex as a bribe. Then I'd point out that he's not a cop if he hasn't done those things. Then I'd point out that being polite to others is not a requirement, but instead it's a coffee filter.-doctordetroit

Knock the bastard out-Elle the depressed cow

i say,"FUCK OFF BITCH!"-patty

I'd say, "I see Martha threw you out again. What was it this time?"-Oopa

i would ask him if he wanted to come in and join in on my Vodoo ritual-wikidklown

Shit, man, I don't need this. Some guy's going to come to my door and expect me to be NICE? That's so messed up. Will I get a pamphlet too? Ahh, here he comes!! Go Away! No One's home!! I'm not buying anything!-...Oopa

Invite him in! We can chat over tea and cookies. I bet he has the most darling things to say!-Angel

blow job-Trixie

I look him up and down and tell him that I have no candy. I also give him a kiss on the check and shake my head as I say 'sorry'. -T.P.

If someone dressed as a cop came to my door, I wouldnt answer.Are you dumb??-Harbinger

When i answer the door, i punch him in the face....problem solved =) plain and simple-JimBoBob

i will tell him that i m a drug dealer-abdu

uh uh, cops aren't allowed in my place. not a fucking chance. i'm might be stupid but i'm not dumb, i dunno care if he just dresses like one.-duch bag

He's done at comes to my door dressed like a cop. I hide my shit and let the dogs freak out at him until he goes away. Something else might be funnier but, I'm really struggling and can't imagine it any other way.-Truly Pathetic

I don't have a door. He comes to my window, I tell him not to be so rude and to go to the door like a normal person. Since I have no door he will spend the next three hours looking for it while I laugh hysterically at him. Poor little police man.-frolic is a funny word

i would slam the door in his face -Keli

id invite him into my home for milk and cookies and 'accidently' spill it al over his suit then laugh "isnt that irony for you!!!"(get it?),Then id ask if he had a permit to come on my property and then if he didnt make a fake one id tell him to leave without saying please.-so You wish to see my penis...

i would dress like a donut and he'd forget about tellin me how to be nice in favor of his big belly-vladamir

door?what door?i thort thats what people used windows for.o.shut up...your confusin me now.you anmd all those voices in my head and the dancing soldiers on my desk.i wish ud all just fuck off!all of u god damned things.y bother me....go bother fred,hees alone over there......whats tht mom?i shud hve grown outta imaginary friends by now???I already told you,hes not imginary.....hes real.HES A REAL BOY I SAY!-keli_x_james

I Would try to sell him aluminum siding until he got rude with me. And then I'd yell, "HA!", and send him packing. HYPOCRITE!-mahatma

Tell him random profanities and using special fingers. I'd follow that by jibberish and flailing arm movements and telling him how men should stay in the kitchen where they belong and make me a sandwich. Then I'd have the birds come for him. Yes my pretties, feast.-ferretchick

If there realy was such a man, i would have to find my maul; for i have to nail some railroad spikes into my yard, the old ones got all rusty from the rain last night. Hopefully my big scary spikes would intimidate him, and make him run to the next door neihbors house instead of mine. if that wouldn't work, i would let him in and stuff his face with mmuffins so i wouldn't have to hear his stupid babbling.--Me

I'd be prepared of course and summon my evil raven minions to peck his eyes out while he's waiting for me to answer the door. Yes. Peck, my precious. Preciouses. I meant all of you. All! No! I MEANT ALL! NO! NOT THE FACE! NOT TH;lfal;./;bbbbbbb-FartMonkey

I'd let him in, then go outside the door, ring the doorbell, and then run away laughing with all my friends.-Babyfreak

id invite hime in and stab him in the neck with a #2 pencil, after i first debated the meaning of life with him-asmodeus

shut your goddamn pie hole copper!... thats what I'd say.-BritneySpears

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september 2003