what if one day you sneezed out a bird from your nose?

whoa..that would hurt...how big is the bird?like humming bird size?and how the hell would it have gotten up there..i would have noticed it going in and stopped it..unless i was asleep...- SG*

I'd make a mental note to give my drug dealer a Christmas bonus.- ~ Natasha

I'd befriend it and name it Lenny. If it's a big enough bird, I'll teach it to bring me beverages, find me the remote, and do my bidding, mainly pecking out the eyes of those that I hate. - FartMonkey

I would command it because it was my snot bird. I'd have it crap on everyone I disliked and fly around and peck out the eyes of evil teachers and those I'm not particularly fond of. Then I'd be the only person able to see and I could laugh at the others stumble over each other and fall down. If only those eyeless sacks of waste could cry...bwahahha!- ferretchick

I would say TADA- shibster

I would catch it, cut it up in tiny pieces, burn half, hide half of half in the walls and feed whatevers left to the homeless children in akamaskakasikackiskastan- boing!boing!SPLAT!

i guess i would be eating bird for dinner- the vodoo bunny

I would think it was cool and get some pepper to see if another one came out.- infinityw00t

Then my nose would hurt like a bitch!- scooby

a bird? i would make myself sneeze again to see if anything else came out. if i found that i could sneeze various creatures out of my nose, i would probably give the dangerous ones to the screaming brats down the street. that'll teach them..- Ripper

id shout "neat....wunder if i can fart an elephant?"- keli<3james

shit- noname

I'd defeather it, then cut it's head off. Next, I will marinate it in both Teriyaki and Soy Sauces cause I'm crazy. Throw in some Worstershire sauce for more flavor. Cook it on an open grill. I then shove it up my ass in hope's of being like Cartman and pooping the bird out of my mouth.- Anthraxboy

Vulture- Bubba

...I dunno. I would catch it and put it in Science fiction.- spazzattack

i'd tell all my friends, and appear on Ripley's Believe It Or Not, and try to milk it for all the publicity it's worth.- SiNiSTaR

I don't like birds too much so i'd prolly just let it outside with my cat at the same time and see if it can make it. otherwise i'll have to bury it with the other birds and squirrel she conviently left outside the door for me yesterday, such a show off.- duch bag

that would depend on what kind of bird. if it was something like a pigeon i wouldn't really think too much of it. but if it was a parrot or other exotic bird, then i would see if anything else like it would come out every time i sneezed. if i was lucky, i could sneeze out all sorts of parrots and sell them to people, then give lots of money to DC...hmm, i wonder what DC would think of that..- Asylum

I'd put it back up my nose and try to do it again. -off

I'd raise it as my own. It's not the birds fault it's parents couldn't tell the difference between a nostril and a nest.- sniff

Cha-ching! I'd start hiring myself out to bar mitzvahs, bachelorette parties, fanboy conventions, and political rallies. "Impress all those pathetic losers with the amazing Bird Man!" That's what all the fliers would say. And then I'd have all the money and all the women (chicks dig a man with birds coming out of his nose).- Indomitus

Ok, I know my nose is big, but you don't have to rub it in, ok?! *Near crying*- McDiablo

I'd put it back in as soon as I notice it's trying to fly away. I don't respond well to smooching birds.- weirdDAR

I would pet it and feed it and call it George.- Mzebonga

id stuff it back in there. i dont want to started falling apart again.- chuckroast

I would spray my nose with some thin powder to keep sneezing all day!- Franky_TooCoolo

thats CRAZY- anailbom

i would call it bugger and love him to death- yawn

then i would put it in a cage and keep it forever as a momentum of that day.- ammeg

it depends .... is it dead or alive?? if its dead the take a picture and the bury the poor thing, then send the pic to everyone. if its alive then id catch it, take a pic, clean it *ewwww* then send the pic to everyone. in both cases id run around with the pic and the bird tellin everyone what had happened then put it on my webshite. dno wot id do with the bird if it was alive though, cant keep it - my cats a bitch.- DeadlyNightshade

there might be feathers in my nose- JimBoBob

i would say " Damn i waas hoping for a blur jay, not a dammed parakeet!"- Peggy

id be on acid- emaweed

I would catch it, pluck it, deep fry it and then serve it with french fries and some salad-So the whole family can enjoy it!!!- *Realmo-k

id b very worried and go see a doctor- Lady Lazaroo

that's easy! i would try methodically try to fart out a butterfly, piss out a goldfish, and puke up a donkey. if it all failed, i would show everyone the bird i sneezed out and tell them how the bird came into the world by way of my nasal cavities. since nobody would believe me, they would be forced to take me away and give me a nice soft room to play in. i could also practice being like houdini with the really cool jacket they gave me..- CasualFatality

Holy shit!! I wonder if I would shit feathers?- harbingerofhell

It depends what kind of bird it is. If it was an ostrich, that would suck. - Freak Ninja

well then, since its the first time and i'll be surprised and wont be able to catch it...i'll run to the nearest pet shop and buy a big cage...who knows whats gonna come out next...but then what if an el..an ele...eleph...oh gee, how am i going to explain that to my neighbors!- leigh

i would hope that i wouldnt be dove huntin' at the time, cause Billybob shoots anything that flys.- Bubba

I'd be like what the f*** and then look in the mirror to see if there was any damage to my beautiful face and nose and then I would sniff pepper to see if I could do it again and If I could I wuld join the circus and try to get rich from my newly found weirdness-jazzibel

I would worry about what would happen the next time I farted.- silkmaid

I'd grab it before it flew away, and using copious amounts of vaseline i'd carefully reinsert it. but only if it was a nice bird. i'd have to get to know it first.- supermandave

id jump on its back and we'd fly away to never never land.....because secretly no1 wants to grow up really,deep down..........do they?- keli_X_james

then that be eithar the cooliest way to give birth or i needed to sleep with my mouth closed more.- peaganSPA

i'd laugh and then disect the bird...then feed it to my dog.- monkey butt

omigod1 a bird? what the hell?! Ok, lets think about this one. First i would scream in pain couse it would god damn hurt if a bird came flying out of your nostrils. Secondly i would laugh. Loudly and incontroably because things like that dont happen iin real life and thirdly i would laugh even more couse the stupid dip shit of a bird the came out of my nose would be covered in my boogies and snot and no one would want to be his friend or play with him.- emlingremlin

I would hope that someone got it on video. If no one did then it would be hard to get someone to believe it. It would probably hurt like hell and there would be blood everywhere. Are we talking a hummingbird or some kind of Hawk? The docs in the emergency room would think you were on drugs if you tried to explain that one. If they didn't buy the bird story you would have to make some other weird story up or just say you fell on the pavement after a bird shit in your eye or something. Hitting your head would explain the insanity.- Renegade

i'd be partially relieved, because that bird was up there for a long time...but part of me would be worried, because i always thought it would come out the other end.- shari

that's a dull day for me- butterfly-flavoured-pancake