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what if YOU were in charge of the planet?

i would abolish ohio and make showering manditory- pizza man dan marino

First, I will create a genetical enhanced army of myself all armed with black sticks and white knifes. Second, I will then order my army to do the sterilization of the human race so that they will not be able to breed, or slowly kill them off in concentration camps. Third, I will make sure the rest of the human race that trys to stop me will suffer a mutant plague that will slowly change them into sock monkeys, which I genetically created. And Finally, I will let my Cat masters take over the world, as it was my duty to serve them.- DZ

I would make every male bow down to women and be their eternal slaves- Hailey

It would always be winter. It would snow green snow. But not too cold where it actually hurts, just nice a chilly. BS, Carrot top etc. would not exist. No, wait, they would exist. We'd get to kill them in the way of our choice each day. Money would not exist. We'd all trade rocks and stuff, with the value determined by how pretty we think they are. I decide who goes to jail and for how long. Psychos would not be locked up. They would be given something fun to do. Heck, everybody must be psycho. If you're not psycho, we'll develop and injection that makes you loony, but the fun way, and not dangerous all the time, only when necessary so you don't need a padded cell with no sharp objects etc. TID would be the only site on the internet. It would be updated every 5 minutes. I'd say I'd want to run it, but that would take away the enjoyment of having my pathetic questions answered. And they say I'm not old enough to smoke and drink! I'll do so whenever I want. Only the smoking will be good for me and taste good, cuz it looks cool. Same for the drinking. Finally I'd be able to go invisible, back in time, morph into inanimate objects in order to eavesdrop, and those idiot voices would just leave me alone when I sit in my dark corner. - FartMonkey

Children would be mangled and their voice boxes ripped out by rabid ostriches and replaced with remote controlled devices allowing you to shut them up at any time. They would then be enslaved and forced to serve the very ostriches who stole their voice boxes alcoholic beverages on the beach. They would build huge monuments to the monkey gods, showing loyalty to their true rulers. I would make them haul the bricks one by one and whip the children into obedience. Build! Damn-you-good-for-nothing-kids.- ferretchick

I'd kill you all!!! ALL OF YOU!!! There's a new boss in town and it's me!- Mzebonga

i would weep over my failure- rayyo77

THEN FUCK IT...NO CHURCH!- u smell like lemons

We would want to think about the poor and not the rich that a first- Rooster

i would hire a bunch of lesbian slaves to feed me and pleasure each other in front of me.- jim bibble

what planet? i sold it off in pieces after the intergalactic federation offered me my own star system for it. apparently Earth is the only planet in ths galaxy capable of sustaining the nascar fan. it's a phenomena that many scientists are eager to study... but they only have about 3 weeks left cuz the federation is worried they might breed so they're going to destroy the whole planet anyway.- EmprissNikon

i would...legalize pot!!!- GeT_KiNkY!!

There would be more paddles and less balls.- Racoon Man

earth? nah...i'll pass...i heard earthlings are the number one carrier of STUPIDITY...its some kind of a virus that feeds on your brain...i mean...well, do i have to explain?...just look at them...- leigh

Being in charge of the planet sure is great. Phew, every mornin i wake up and make sum grilled cheese. Its pretty cool. Maybe someday all the hungry people in my planet will be able to share the joy of grilled cheese.- JimBoBob=)

you would be locked in my dungeon...the rest is left up to your own imagination...- Rocco the Great

hahahahahha bow down to me!- Vanessa

kill the masses more efficiently- antisanta

i would first start by gathering up all the filthy slime and putting them on an empty island and surround it with electric barbed wire . then give them recycled toilet paper pamphlets to read on how scummy they are. then afterwards you NUKE the joint:T3 style: plant more trees across the globe.put the sheisty world leaders in an insane asylum of some underdeveloped third world country in west>bumfuk.educate righteousness parties all night and day hook the place up correctly everywhere because there is enough of everything for eveyone and then some so why be stingy. it's hedonism for all for the planet's most *********** animal.- dr. kryptonite

Ahhh, Ass Gnome ruler of the planet... yes, yes ... well, I would make it an offence to be taller than 4'9", and impose mandatory nudity laws for everyone except fat people and guys cause that would be sick.... oh and old people too, in fact i would just make it an offence to be old... or fat.... or ugly, except me, i shall remain ugly. In fact i would reverse the laws so that ugly people are considered sexy and sexy people considered ugly, thereby making me the most appealing person on the planet... muuu ha ha ha ha - Ass Gnome

i'd destroy it and make a new one from the sea monkey kits i have stored somewhere in my jeans pocket.- SiNiSTaR

I'd would definately blow it up.- Christophe

i would request that everyone in the world line up so that i could inspect them and their personalities before i said they should/should not be sterilized...kind of like select breeding- irish psycho

you'd ALL be DEAD... <laughs at the stupid humans> i told you no one would heed your message of horses being evil <points and laughs at JCP>- -spanky the wonder horse

There would be no such thing is reality.- Phishie

i would throw people out if i didnt want there here.- CowfromSpace

slap nuts- Stifler

first and foremost anybody who ever again said the phrase "lol, rotflmao, or any other net lingo crap" would be directly sent to live and work at a salami packaging plant. while there they could never leave and they could only eat salami. oh and also we would cut off their balls. after that everybody with the last name of bush would be sent to live in antartica and they could perform their own survival of the fittest challenge. except the last one to win wouldnt be able to screw up another country, we would just leave them there forever...... not really winning eh?- your grandmas moth balls

i would implement my 5 year everybody dies plan. after that i would relinqish my power becuase no one should be in charge of anybody else.- demonboy"_"

Everyone would spell correctly, Slurpees would be abundant everywhere and the stupid people would be blasted off into the sun. *Sigh* That sounds wonderful...- McDiablo

I'd probably fall asleep.- weirdDAR

i'd kill all people who annoyed me. - irish psycho

Executions would begin immediately, of course. The guillotine would be restored to fashion and corporate CEOs and their lawyers would be first in line, followed by their political whore-puppets. Idiot, overrated celebrities would be enslaved to eat garbage, emptying vast landfills to be restored to wild habitat and producing valuable fertilizer to be shipped to third world, agricultural projects that do not endanger rain forests. Extra stomachs and livers would have to be harvested from the corpses of fresh guillotine victims and implanted into the celebrity garbage-eaters, to ensure that the fertilizer they produce is well refined. Industrial farming warehouses would be emptied and all enslaved animals freed or properly cared for to make way for the New Livestock. It would really be a natural progression in our biological evolution, to turn the elite into human refineries for fuel, fertilzer and, perhaps, other basic resources. After assuring the redistribution of wealth and resources I would banish all religions that weren't admittedly based on the consumption of hallucinagens, or at least require that such organizations pay hefty taxes to provide for the poor, enforcing their verbal contract that their "Lord shall provide". That's all just to begin with. The future looks pretty bright after my first 100 days in office. Whoever isn't beheaded or enslaved after my coup can can work out the rest while I relax for a while.- Enfante Terrible

id get rid of big tit blondes and name stuff after my mates, just cos i cud!N id throw a big party n just general stuff really...and all cos i cud do!lol- Keli_x_James

I'd let Jimmy get busy on the cops! He deserves the chance.- Naked Fairy

raed aboev^^^- der1331

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