what if crazed paperclips decided to go straight?

well more pointy things to poke my dog with.- HogZArEsPeCiaL

Thousands of offices all over the world would suddenly collapse, as millions of bits of paper would come loose, creating a tidal wave of paper...- Fido Dido

Then paperclip gay bars would go out of business.- Mzebonga

It happens. It's usually thanks to some combination of post-traumitic stress and religious fanaticism. It's very sad. Some break while others just suffer in their denial, only to resume their natural shape again.- Your Lawyer

You mean they aren't straight? So that explains why I always find them up my ass.- Waxter

Does anyone use them anyway, I don't but if they did then fine .- Sally

i would do whatever I can to assist in their cause, i am a firm supporter of straight paperclips- Schizoid

clipin paper together wit the crazed ones would be really hard- sssssKKKK

I'd bend the back the way they were and wear them as earrings- SG*

Then the pencils would hold a gay pride parade!- R/T/H

then we wouldnt be able to use them....- w33nkie

Easily enough this problem would be solved. i would use my gun-toting safety pin race to wreak havoc on the soft paperclips. then my militia of ruthless safety pins would quickly shove thier guns up the paperclips ass. quickly turning them not quite so straight anymore.. muahaha!!- i am bob

I would use them as a cure for erectile disfunction selling them as a handy insert.- Sk8erGecko

Paper clips aren't gay..unless you mean literally straight then they would be utterly useless except for bending and poking, etc.- FartMonkey

dunno- butthead

i'd take back all the rainbow coloured paper i'd bought to make them feel more comfy then but them in a paper bag with a buncha smelly dog poo set it on fire on that grumpy old man that lives down the street's front porch, ring the bell, set the bag a flame and giggle uncontrollably as the icky old man stomps the fire out while yelling senseless obsenities about us damned punk children that live down the street...then call the cops on him for attempting to kill the paperclips.- dizzie munkie

If straight means that they are not Gay then cool, but if straight means sane then I would show them my collection of sock monkey porn to make them go insane again, thus the would can go on thinking that every thing is OK. - LubisKo

I'd have to start kicking some ass!- weirdDAR

oh really? i didnt know that they were gay? since when did they come out of the closet. are they bunkmates with richard simmons? i thought so.- Miss Roger's Sweater

i'd pretend like i didnt care and start using safety pins instead- shazaam

There would be no Gay Pride marches- Mystic_Murray

A bus load of bible thumpers would pull right up out of the blue to "help" them.- Fantastic

Then the whole nature of the space-time continuum would become warped, and the entire universe would be changed fundamentally. The paperclips have more power than anyone thinks. Be wary of them. They will conquer the world!!!- The Fool

Then they would be heterosexual paperclips...except those purple ones. If a purple Teletubbie is considered to be homosexual, then purple paperclips are, too. - McDiablo

then the world's supply of paper would go into frenzy, teacher would pull their hair out because they'd have nothing to hold their packet folders with, and the streets would be filled with paper.- jackie blue

The whole world would be buried under massive drifts of floating paper.- Not Napoleon Bonaparte

i would have new enemys cus i belive all paperclips should be bent (just a extreme deep believe of mine)i would spend my days bendin and screaming at paper clips who go straight..talk to them bout there meaning of life and how being bent and clipping paper is there job!well, anyways we would go to many thearapists for the paperclips..bootcamp cept they wont be straighting them up, Theyed be bending them up!!!!...HEHAHGAHGHEhahahehe...ooo i couldnt resist.well basically id dedicate all my spare time when im not on this fine website to the dear troubled paperclips and maybe i could even start a charity.- DisTanTmInDs

Bureaucrats wouldn't have any work to do.- Omuletzu

woah. im not sure i can even comprehend that. that is some insane 'what if'. i guess, on a simple level, all my study notes would be out of order. on a more complex level, i think bedsprings would follow suit.- frazicus

Heh Heh..- sheniqua

AAAH! THE WORLD'S GONE TO HELL!- insanity crises 420

The earth would stop going round the sun and instead go around the moon, which will upset the orbits of all the other planets in our solar system, which will bring about a gigantic crashing and clashing of planets, and most of the planets will get smashed. Then, jupiter will escape and join another solar system in another galaxy. Earth will be left alone in the milky way with planet debris and eventually we will all die.- SiNiSTaR

then they wouldn;t be anymore- jackass20

o god! i hope THAT never happens! then all our stacks of papers would fall apart and we'd get drowned in a sea of it!- dr. eff

I guess I would go straight too.- gopostal

then we have an ally in our fight for worldwide insanity!!! The paperclips have gone insane in sympathy with us!! Now we just need to make a diplomatic alliance with the moose, and we can spring the trap on all those unsuspecting sane people out there.- Fish

i dont know- jocelynevans

YOU DARE TO CALL US PAPERCLIPS CRAZY AND GAY!!! GGGGAAAARRRRR!!!!!- ANthraxboY

Due to the fact that crazed paperclips are straight, nothing would change. if however, "normal" paperclips went straight, nothing would change (except that there would be no turn out for the annual 'gay and lesbian paperclip mardi gras').- foetish