being sick sucks... so what is the sickest you've ever been and how far did you puke?

That reminds me...I haven't puked in years...I wish I knew the exact date so I could keep track...anywho the worst case I can remember was I had a bad flu or something...I thought it was all over and I was feeling a lot better...so I foolishly decided to celebrate with a biiiig bowl of Frosted Flakes...it wasn't projectile, but I did leave a good 15-foot trail leading to the toilet.-  FartMonkey

I didn't puke in a long time. Hey, maybe that's what's wrong with me.-  Omuletzu

i was so sick this one time. i don't know WHAT i ate but i woke up like at 4 in the morning with a terrible tummy ache and i just felt shitty all over. thank god i made it to the bathroom in time to puke. the puke was like coming out like at 100 miles an hour, like a fountain. i had no control over it. This process was repeated like ten times until there was nothing left to barf but some clear mucus-like stuff from my empty stomach. that really sucked.-  SiNiSTaR

I once projectile vomitted Plum pudding when I was about 11. But the sickest I've ever been is about now where I look at the naked ladies across the street with my binoculars.-  Mzebonga

Yes, being sick sucks. Espically when your on a 14 hour international flight. I'm not sure if my sickness was due to actually being sick or if it was American Airlines fault. I didn't puke too far, just into my Sprite can which then caused me to shit on my self because I couldnt make it to the bathroom since I was locked in one of those cursed middle-row seats. To increase my illness, the airline staff decided to play "Rocky and Bullwinkle the movie."-  Syko Morgana

Ive been sick enough to be delerious and pass out... To tell you the truth i dont remember it at all...-  NSuxbum

Well, there was that one time when I had hodgkins disease..but last week i had the flu and i vomited with a projectile range of 19 feet.-  Pancake

I ate a slice of pizza, puked from the toilet to the tube. Then at the site of the puke, I puked again and watched it come out.-  Anthrax.Boy

One time I was so drunk that I was taking a shit and as a log was coming out I puked in the sink beside. I think I lost like 10 pounds dude. At the time I has a goatee and I didnt realise that I had puke all up in it and stuff. I walked out of the crapper and everyone had a good laugh. I woke up the next morning and my beard was stuck to the pillow from dried up - caked in puke. I was punk, I must have been.-  dennis1111

It wasn't so much distance as accuracy. Could hit a person on the street from my bedroom window. Fastest blarf in the west, I was. Haven't been that sick in a long time, but those were the days.-  Indomitus

haha I don't get very sick-  Sally

the sickest i've been was in sixth grade when i had mono....i dont remember puking so much as i remember sleeping...sleep is good!-  littlebit

i got pneumonia when i was 4, 5, and 6. i puked past the bucket AND the towel under it the people had set up for me. it was truly disgusting. i did that 3 years in a row.-  irish psycho

umm..i'm like never sick because my parents exposed me to everything when i was a child...so i don't get sick anymore...-  SG*

The sickest I've ever been was when I was a baby and was allergic to all dairy and soy products and eggs . . . I came out in hives when they touched my skin, and I threw up a considerable distance I am told . . . I had to eat this horrible pre-digested milk formula stuff that tasted like 6-month old boiled shoes made of cabbage.-  Fish

well it depends........does fake sick qualify? if it does than the farthest i have puked would be about 5 feet thats how far away my worst enemy was standing-  moo poo chic21

It was when I go severly drunk, so drunk I puked on my friends couch and permantely stained it!-  DZ

I was sick with a freind for a whole school year. We had to share trash cans and puke in a room of people all the time. During this time we were both throing up blood fom our lungs from coughing so damn much. On the play ground, after lunch we both throw up mac and cheese, but it was red from all the blood in it too. Once during lunch, I throw up all over one of those long tables, and the area sround it.-  Crisco Cat

i had the stomach flu once...causing me to nonstop puke everytime i so much as ate a cracker. I didnt puke that far since i was pretty much attached to the porcelin thrown throughout the day.-  spanky

when i saw you and puked in your face-  Batman (na na na na na na na na)

last week my midget got sick, he can't spew that far he's only a little fella.-  Chunderspew

i was sick and going to the doctor and i was waitin on my moms in the car at the bank and i puked in the next parkin spot out of the window-  monkeeskittles

i had the flu really bad one year and i puked all tha way from my bed to my dresser.-  tinkerbell

Im not really sur but i was pretty fuckin sick and i threw up on my mother.-  jim bibble

I had appendicitis and almost died, got a blood infection, and puked as far as the porcelain god.-  vic

not really if u get to miss school...anyway, everytime i can get that thick, yellow gooey puke on my brother i think its been far enough. (he is usually either an arm length away or in canada)-  BigMama

well i slit my wrists and i didn't puke very far but i bled and it leaked about 5 feet away from where i was laying on the floor-  irish psycho

I never puke when I'm sick, but I have a story for you nonetheless. Roadtrip a long ago with a young little brother who ate something bad a few stops back. Said he was going to vomit, Dad kept driving. Going 50 miles an hour, the kid rolls down the window, sticks his head out and pukes. Yellow green vomit splatters all over the back windows (years and many car washes later it never completely came off). I'd assume it got a few cars behind us and dotted the highway for several hundred feet. Is that a record?-  Riku

uh i went green once with a heart rate of over 240 bpm? didnt throw up though but sucked immensly.-  Lithaial

hmmm matts party, apparently more than 30 people turned up, i can only remember 12, nice decorative selection of alcohol dissappeared very fast, started drinking martini, finished martini, fell over, spazzed out, people sat on me, 3 hours later 8 pukes, each wiped up with a different towel put neatly away, matt + sister both washed with them the next day, well i left my mark at least, and my stomach, ascending colon, and duodenum. Oh and distance, well i did hand over mouth so it came out explosively in a spray.-  cRaZy MoNgOoSe

Once at a party i went to when I wasn't verry used to drinking, I had about nine beers. I got so sick my friend had to drive me back home. On the way home i was projectile vommiting and the next daty i had to clean it out of my friends car. I couldn't sleep that whole night and it sucked realy bad. -NNY

Dunno-  Rebirth

When i was 8... a projectile vomit inicdent.... there must have been like.. 6 literes of progectile puke... flying about 4 meters striaght onto my bedroom wall =| needless to say.. i did'nt go to school for a week-  Momo

past this website-  irish psycho

when i made myself throw up to get out of school...for some reason i got really sick and puked all over the place...there have been othertimes when i puke and i'm on the phone-  Angelle

Mom thought it would be a great idea to buy me the latest Britney Spears CD. Needless to say, I vomitted and dealt with hot and cold flashes for weeks after.-  FreshFruit

Put it this way--I have been known to call myself an unwilling bullimic. This is because I puke when I don't want to puke ('cuz we all know it's a terrible feeling) and then afterwards I am totally fine...I am just as energetic as I was before. I don't get that. Well, for a little 'puke story', I'll just say that once Miss Roger's Sweater had to pull over to the side of the road so I could puke behind an electrical box...and I wasn't drunk. Figure that one out (P.S: Slurpees and brownies don't mix).-  McDiablo

well i've done a lot of puking in my day... there was the mcdonalds food poisoning incident where i puked down the stairs onto moms feet... the night i spent in the hospital because i kept puking for 24 hours until it was just dry heaving... how about that fun time on the shitter where i had to puke in a garbage can while shitting... so many happy moments - coffeespaz

5 yerds-  sam

I was sick with bronchitist for two weeks. since im 5"7" i puked 5 ft my mouth to the magic bowl-  JENOVA

Once, i got a thoat infection while i had the flu, so i was hawking up giant pussy, bloody loogies, and seeing them made me puke almost every time. I puked from my bed to my bathroom (50ft), and you can still see a bit of red tint on a spot on my living room carpet,(OOPS) though i'm not much of a projectile puker.....-  eva P.

One time after I did this drug called methadose...I puked a grand total of 23 times. It really sucked though.-  HellKitten

well when i was a kid i got really sick and i couldnt eat for a week because i'd puke it out-  JAK

The sickest I've ever been began this last December 28 and ended around January 2nd. It started that after noon. I had consumed some Orange Soda and some crousants. as you can imagine, that didn't come up very nicely. then, that night, I had some chicken. Several hours later, I was found in the bathroom with puke on all of the walls. This was done while I was on the toily. I don't really remember the rest of the week, it was a big haze of waking up floating in puke. The puke distance wasn't very low. I'm sorry to disapoint you, and I will now go get in a fetal position and weep for minutes.-  InsaneLane

the sickest i have ever been, well this was the "night of the whiskey" which has become legendary. my vomiting was not notable for its distance, but more for the astounding quantity and duration. i vomited, while continuously giggling and stumbling around in my own puke, for approximately 4 hours. that night was also memorable for falling in a small but deceptively prickly bush and rolling in someones flower beds.- communist queen

i take a make out with my boyfriend on the kitchen i been sick- barbie