Slip away quietly so they'll think i'm giving up. I'll come back when they're asleep and i blow the fucking place to smithereens! i HATE clowns!- SiNiSTaR

Board up the doors and windows then burn the fucker down, singing "Fire Water Burn" by the Bloodhound Gang. Then see if they do the routine that the clowns do in Dumbo. If they die, who cars. Clowns scare me. And then I'd claim on the insurance.- Mzebonga

i hate clowns. scry. naked clows especially. the ones that try to poke me with their special baloon. damn rapist clowns., they promised the'd move out o the brn a montyh ago. well the cougars and penguins are just gunna have to share ther space a month longer. next time tyhose damn clowns come out again i'm gnna et them wit the cold power hose and spray the paint off and claim i don't recognize them. - meagnolia

The only thing you can do in a situation like this - Run on over to the nearest Air Force Base, and bomb the shit outa those damn crazy clowns. Stupid fuckers. On another note, Fido Dido Enterprises Ltd. are now hiring out A-10 Tank Killers to kill clowns.- Fido Dido

i first would ask them politely to please get the hell out of my farm house....if they didnt leave then i would lock them inside and burn the whole thing down until they begged for mercy.- mary jane

Bring them food, fuel, ammo, drugs and first aid supplies..and whatver else they need to keep up the fight. DEATH TO THE RINGMASTER!!! FREE THE FARM ANIMALS!!! VIVA LOS CLOWNS!!!- Enfante Terrible

I hate clowns I'd get my shotgun and shoot the bastards then burn them.- Sally

There is only one way to settle this. We MUST call for Barney, all clowns fear the "I love you, You love me" song.- MeowMix

beat them madly- butthead

i'd start to chant in hindi to lord Shiva. Maybe that would scare them away and if it doesn't, well if you can't beat them... thats right, BRING OUT THE BLOWTORCH!!!!!!!!!!- marissa

act like there cows and pigs..and squeeze on there tits, feed em hormones and drugs and then slaughter them alive..- BLEEEEEEEEEEEE

lock the doors from the outside. torch it. at least thats a few less clowns in the world. maybe my actions would scare the other clowns out of hiding *insert sadistic laugh here*- frazicus

First I run around my house urinating constanly on myself for lack of options. The seeing as that diddnt work I would bring them sandwiches and arrange a pow wow. Afterwhich wed sing "Kumbaya". Then I would unleash my evil midget army that would rip off all there evil funny looking heads. Then I would dance around in a tutu singing " I am the master of the universe" - frank the midget

hack them into little pieces and feed them to DC- maryrapedherlittlelamb

I would blow there pathetic clown heads off with a pumnp action shot gun then poor chocolate all over their naked clown bodies so the flesh eating red fire ants would have a feild day, then i would get their bones and make a frame for a couch which i would sit on to watch my favorite show sponge bob square pants- dane

I would shoot both of them, take them to a taxidermy and have their heads mounted. Afterwards, I would keep one head in my house as a trophy and name it Bonzo, then place the other one on my barn door and call it This Could Be You.- gopostal

get a shotgun and shoot them all then bury their bodies- Silver Dragon

i paint my nose red and run after them wearing nothing but a pair of briefs with skid marks and sing the blues clues song. then after they start running (from being frightened by my unusual white flabby skin) i would hop on their backs and jump up and down screaming "go my sexy clown buddy, GO!" and then slap them in the booty.- w33nkie

burn the farm house, no clown will get out alive. commie bastards. - Spooney

call pennywise and ask him to join the party!- bobspenistassle

I RUN! They want my cock...- Hey! Rape is illegal! STOP!

If the wicked clowns then I party with then if there normal "funny" clowns then I kill then all, I hate "funny" clowns.- LubisKo

i would think about my childhood in which i had a mighty big phobia of clowns and mascots and i would run away screaming like a girly girl. and then wet my pants.- Miss Roger's Sweater

just play with em- sheniqua

put earwigs in a jar and throw it at them.- PENIS

I tell them to piss off and get back to the white house.- Waxter

smile, nod and move in the general direction of away- Fish

eat them. They are delicious.- The Fool

I tell them that "THERE IS NO MORE CHEESE GODAMMIT" and slam the barn door- Ninja

well id have to get out me pitch fork and get pokeing some clown ass an old remedey but a good one. - JuiCyMuCUS

kill- kuroro

Oh....my.....God. I'd run around in a panic and throw water at them, hoping they'd melt. If that doesn't work, I'll crawl into my bed......Can't sleep--clowns will eat me.......- McDiablo

Well, I would make all the other animals feel at home and put little red noses on them. I would make it a big party...clowns are animals, too.- Richard

milk some cows.- heahHAHAFGhtheh

Close up the farm house and set it on fire, then laugh at them as they're screaming in agony. Who's funny NOW?!?- OmegaClarinet

rAPE THEM so hard they sweat off their makeup and then there would just be people in the farmhouse, and I wouldn't mind.- Draven

Stop feeding them and stink up the bathroom. They'll leave.- The Pope

Suggest a game of pin-the-tale on the donkey and start blind-folding the children. Have the clowns clubbed and removed by a swat team discreetly through the pantry. Children under age seven will believe that clowns are magical and will accept almost any explanation for the clowns' disappearance.- Marthastewart

I build a big metal box out in a field near the farm house. Then I hook up speakers inside the box which would connect to a microphone behind the box, held by me. I would sing 'Send in the Clowns'. Also I would hang a banner just inside the door to the big metal box saying WELCOME CLOWNS. WHen all the clowns are in the big metal box I would simply padlock the door shut, and throw the box deep into the ocean.- FartMonkey

I grab a nearby pitchfork and I throw it at the firt clown and he goes down with it stuck in his forehead then I whip out the cow milker and threaten them with it as to make a diversion to get to the tractor then i get in the it and plow like 10 of em down then like 5 more are left 2 on the damn thing so I do a backflip off it and pull the uzis from under my coat and make those 2 a bit lightheaded and then tke the others string em up and torture them then release them and have them tell the other clowns not to fuck with me or this barn ever again!!!!- Sk8erGecko