The lap dancing sock monkey.
Choose your own adventure.

You pretend you have the wrong number and hang up quickly.  You have a lot of work to do so you get your hat and prepare for the trip of your life.  You leave your house and head for the nearest train station to hop a train to the orient.

The walk will take over an hour, so you fill the time thinking of what you'll say to the lap dancing sock monkey when you see it.  You wonder if it will give you a lap dance and exactly how far it will go to please you.

You arrive at the train station and are told that you can not take a train to the orient.  Frustrated, you consider your options.

Do you....

Throw a hissy fit and demand a train ride there.

Find a homeless person and explain the situation.

Find a hot air balloon to take you there.