Commercials SUCK.

Some yogurt – A guy is at a ‘bar’ and it serves yogurt. He proceeds to have a LAME conversation with the bartender. HORRIBLE.

Special K – Ever since some stupid chick in a red dress was harassed by some horribly acted friends, these commercials have been filling my living room with the creepiest idiots ever. Does the guy need to “have a moment” for Special K? NO. NO ONE DOES! The worst part of it is how he says “and we’re back” and then flashes her the fakest smile EVER.

Mr Clean – It shows three women being all down because they can’t get their BBQs clean. I guess it never occurred to anyone that men can clean their BBQs, or that women won’t generally sit and cry over it. If anything, they’d bitch at their hubbies to clean the damn things themselves just before some family get-together. Screw you Mr. Clean.

Begging for money – I don’t get these charities that put horrible images on the screen. People look AWAY because of these images, and then DON’T see the phone number. Show us what GOOD is coming of donating money and people will LOOK and then SEE the number, increasing the odds that they’ll give money.

Stinky products – How is spraying your house full of chemicals making it cleaner? How is that taking the place of opening a window, using a vacuum and wiping things down once in a while? Doesn’t anyone else see the rise of asthma and other breathing problems increasing with the amount of stinky “cleaning” products in the house?

Pregnancy tests – WHY do they need to be digital and some big plastic and packaged thing? It’s a stick you piss on and it says yes or no. How damned complicated is that? How much throwaway plastic does it really need to consume?

PMS, bloating, diet and other stupid pills – Sure, some chicks go right off the deep end, but for the rest of them, learn to fucking control yourself. We can’t all feel wonderful every day and if you KNOW that you’re feeling bitchy, exercise some control over yourself and don’t freak out. It’s not that hard to do, be an adult. As for the rest of these symptoms of bleeding each month, who cares if you feel fat for a day, feel tired or whatever. We can’t all feel perfect all the time and sometimes you grin and bear it instead of putting more chemicals in yourself the second you feel not so good. The same goes for diet pills. Get off your ass, eat better and you’ll find that it works forever.

Credit card for teens – The commercial shows the kid trying to break free of his parents control over his spending by getting his own credit card. It goes on and on, showing the guy in a playpen and being told what not to buy with his money etc. What does the small print at the bottom of the screen say? That the parents have to assume responsibility for it. The whole thing is a pile of shit. You can’t break free of your parents control when they pay the damned credit card. How stupid are these advertising people? Have they heard of logic?

Toothpaste – Has anyone else noticed that the toothpaste and toothbrush people keep making up things to fight? First it was plaque buildup (which is legit), then gingivitis (okay so that does suck), but then it was sensitive teeth, whiter teeth, enamel erosion, built-in mouthwash, and now it’s germs on our cheeks. Toothbrushes aren’t just things you shake in your mouth anymore, they do all the work for you. They have multi-layers, batteries to power them, special speeds and everything. Most people spend more time picking out a toothpaste and toothbrush than they do actually brushing their teeth. Maybe that’s a problem? What’s next, one that counts out two minutes for you and gives you a shot of mouthwash as a reward?

Aero – Someone should tell them that men like chocolate too. The biggest chocolate eaters I know are all men. Try aiming your nonsense at them, not just idiot women in the workplace.

Mini-wheats – DIE SCREAMING MINI WHEATS.