Typical Women
3/09/06 - by drunkennewfiemidget -

Women are annoying.

No seriously. They are.

I'm sick and tired of listening to women go, "why can't I find a guy who is right for me?", and, "why are all the good guys taken?".

These same women do all the typical annoying shit that drives a man away.

When a man says, "I'm hungry". It means, "I'm hungry".

When a woman says, "I'm hungry", it could mean anything from "I'm hungry", to, "I'm going to say I'm hungry now and gauge your response to see if you think I'm fat".

What sparked this particular rant was a conversation on a messageboard I frequent. The men all basically said the same thing: "say what you mean, mean what you say, don't hide shit, and we'll all be fine."

A few of the women agreed.

One woman, however, actually tried to explain it from the 'typical woman' point of view. What she essentially said, was:

"if you want to know what's wrong with a woman, and if she says nothing when you ask her what's wrong, it's because she wants you to show you really care. Instead of saying whats wrong, try telling her you've noticed she seems unhappy, and that you'd like to know what's wrong so you can fix it."

I almost fell out of my chair.

Read that a few more times. I'll wait.

What it boils down to, is she won't answer your question if you don't word it right.

If you're one of those women sitting at home going, "why am I alone, why won't anyone love me, why do my relationships keep failing?" here's a really easy list of things to do that'll probably make things a helluva lot better for you.

  • Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
  • Don't drag shit up from the past.
  • Don't read into what we say: we're not cryptic.
  • If something is bothering you, volunteer the information. Progressively louder sighs while we flip the channels is only annoying, and not helpful.
  • Subtle hints do not work. Not for anything. At all.

I don't know at which point in your life it is when you receive the, 'how to be a woman' booklet that tells you to do this shit, but smarten up.

And for you guys out there: if you have yourself a woman who doesn't do any of this shit, do not let her go because you have found yourselve a rarity. It's like hitting the jackpot.

I have found a woman who doesn't do any of this shit. It took quite some time, but that's the reason I'm marrying her. If I do something silly that annoys her, she says, "I don't like when you do that." I say I'm sorry, try to curb it, and we move on. We don't fight. It's a welcome change from the past. If more girls were like her, the world would be a happier place.

So to all you typical women out there: SMARTEN UP!