May 7 /04
Answered by: JCP

If I dont get the answers to Aprils Qestionaire and What-ifs posted within this week, I will picket any further answering to Questionaires and What-ifs BY EVERYONE. So dont question my power. Im slipping back to reality with lack of attention to my pointless needs... Im beggining to notice things outside...and other beings like I.Help!Help! post.... just post.. i lie.. i cannot make people not answer the Questionaire and What-ifs except for myself and Peanuts and schizo the clown... who are just differnt versions of myself.So POST THEM.please... ? Do you want to put up with this in the Q&A every week?_MYmyMY
How about you shut the hell up and stop whining? When you sent this in it was May 2nd, and you know, I was going to type an explanation to you but fuck that.

What does IudSis mean? Random people scream it at me on a regular bases. At first i thought, they were trying to seduce me... but im still unsure_lil_Cakey_
I have no idea. Then again, people are pretty messed up and say stupid things all the time.

what if one person in this world could know everything about you just by one touch?
I'd shake their hand and laugh as they dropped the ground screaming in agony. Then, I'd kick them just to make sure that they weren't faking it.

Which would you choose to do: Huff gas or sniff paint? McDiablo
Sniff paint. I know that there are many people who like the smell of gas, but I am not one of them. I would much prefer the paint smell.

What was your favourite toy as a kid? McDiablo
Well I went through several as I grew up. First it was Winnie the Pooh. It was a huge bear that was almost bigger then I was! After that I liked Fisher Price toys, the house, plane and people. After that, I think it was a Cabbage Patch Kid (Joyce, now in sock monkey porn.) After that I liked Transformers. (They're more then meets the eye.)

I bought a belt for four dollars. The thing was, I bought it at a thrift store and all the stuff there was donated at one time or another. This belt looks like it's never been worn. Why do you think that is? McDiablo
Perhaps a fat person bought it in the hopes that they'd slim down but then didn't and decided to just give it away after watching one of those home organization shows like Clean Sweep.

Do you think there is a more worthy cause that I could donate my atoms to? - Mzebonga
Oh yes, the TID research fund. We need all the help we can get for obvious reasons.

If you ever find a spork will you give it to me? I love sporks. -bluemonkeyfearer
Sure. I don't think I've run across many of them in my lifetime, which so far I think is a good thing. You can have them all!

what is that slimey green stuff under my little brother's bed?-bluemonkeyfearer
I would tell you, but then you would be incredibly grossed out. (For those that aren't bluemonkeyfearer, the slime is what happens when little boys jerk off and try to keep it under their bed in the hopes that it will grow into another person. Sometimes little brothers are very dumb.)

what are your thoughts on The Rocky Horror Picture Show? eva
I think it's funny, but I haven't seen it many times or own it. If it's on tv and there isn't much else to watch, then sometimes I'll watch it.

scorpions are in the moon as we speak what is your interest in thier vaginal hormones?Thathinguywhois
You're just trying to use your words of the day off your calendar aren't you? Well we're not impressed.

Kill bill is a unique and funny movie are you as fascinated with efficent death as I am?Thathinguywhois
I just saw this last weekend actually and yes I thought it was good. It's not good in the sense there is a deep plot, but all that blood splurting around, that was great! I too would like a sword to go around and chop people up with.

I OFTEN STARE AT MY 98 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER IN THE BATH AND I AM SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER.AM I NORMAL?
I'd have to say that no, you're not normal. As for your grandma, she must get some sense of pride over the fact that she is 98 and still found sexually attractive by someone.

Wow! It been yearZ since I have come to theinsanedomain.com I see a whole lot has changed. LotZ of fantastic stuff. Before you use to have a "insane quotes/sayings" or something like that. Will that be coming back?
YearZ? You mean years. What happend to that list is that it became 'Insane thoughts & ideas'. It's pretty much the same thing.

what is an antonym for opinionated?
Salad. Salads have no opinions at all.

how to get a girl to say yes to be your girlfriend
Well first you have to actually talk to her and hang out. You can't just start sending 'Will you be my girlfriend' emails to everyone in the hopes that one will say yes.

What is basal metabolism? nicname..dude
It's the body's metabolism in a fasting and resting state in which just enough energy is being used for cell activity, respiration, and circulation to maintain life.

Im into rimmin, is that wrong ? london
Not if the people you are with are into it as well. So always make sure you ask them, and that they know what it means.

May 12/04
Answered by: JCP

Have you ever got the urge in midst of walking or strolling to stop and just stand? I mean for no real reason.. just stand... not to be catching your breath, admiring scenery, waiting for anyone to arrive or plan to steal a bank,store or car. Maybe no where near a house or car... to just stand there and stand... Its a unvalid activity but i sudenly got that urge one day and i didnt have any angst towards walking at that moment. I stood and stood... wasnt really doing anything except Standing.-Stnd
Sure I have. So I've stood there for awhile until security dragged me out the door. It was fun while it lasted though, and I would do it again. Good job on your standing as well.

I was trying to do my English assesment task on Anne Sexton, a famous poet and I searched under her poem 'Music swims back to me analysis'. However it brought me here. Any idea?
Well I'd suggest to try your search again, as well as to carefully read through this entire website to see if we have any hidden information on her for you.

Its saturday?!?!? Where are they you fucking slackers... Screw this website.I have better things to do... my barbie is gonna be bautiful.
It was updated you dipshit. Screw you.

Y'know, I read Nothing Really and I don't think enough people appreciate Nothing Really, so I'm going to use this question as a blatant plug for Nothing Really. Aren't I nice? Why don't you turn every instance that I say Nothing Really into a link to Nothing Really? Then more people might read Nothing Really and Nothing Really would be more popular. - Mzebonga
Someone actually reads it? Wow, even though it's just you, I'm still impressed. And no, I'm not liking to it each time you say it, just this one link will do. Wait a minute, you're drunk aren't you?

When the fuck do I get to dismissively answer these questions again? I want to let these people know how much they annoy me and how much I hate them... - Mzebonga
Don't you HAVE a site for that? Last time I looked it was called BogGoblin.

Someone in a question before me said sex... Should I have a fourth triple JD? - Mzebonga
See, I knew it, you're drunk. That's ok, I assume everyone is messed up somehow on here. So go ahead, pour yourself another, and pour one for me too.

Do you know whats insane, in the first Question in the Questionaire I went under 5 different Nicknames and Got 5 good question awards. I am eithar wasting my time or I have no time to waste... oh man... I did that thing 5 times... with thought put into it... Im pathetic, Advice on how to live life? -DiZaCakeBlt Gargles shamfully...
Well filling out the answers five times is living life. As for the rest of the time, I say you start collecting something and maybe that will count as having a 'life'. I don't really know as I don't have a life either.

Yes!Yes!Oh My God! Yes!Yes!OOOO! I Have Received..oooo.. I Haaaave 16....6...sixxxteeennn ... ooooooohhhhh...ah ah aaaa GOOD ANSWER AWARDS!well out of the 24 answers i submitted in the questionaire and What-ifs.But YIPEE anyways.Well its only 8 misses, and im sure my creativity died out somewhere in that month. What an uneventfully month...hehehe... who am I kidding? Its an obvious uneventful life. I should do some effort into questions..hmmm.. nah I like getting pleasure more. So,whats it like to give orgasams to viewers? and to be lied too... (clues will tell you those answers where from one person but you dont care,righhhtt?)-BAGDIZA
Wow, did you light up a smoke after this? Do you print them out and frame them? Do you carve notches into your monitor?

Are you in any way discouraged by the fact that people take the Questionnaires and What Ifs over and over again but use pseudonyms? - Mzebonga
I prefer it to the same name over and over. At least this way I can imagine that lots of people come here and answer them instead of maybe 10 bored people.

should i have sex with the green grocery market elves that live in the produce section, you know the ones who take bites out things and leave them or who mix different vegetables with each other and make your bananas rot the next day after you buy them and stuff Thatthinguywhois
NEVER have sex with those little freaks. If anything, fuck the bread elves, they're much nicer. Those produce elves are diry nasty whores and not in fun ways.

How comw this computer will not let me send answers to the questionnaire and what-ifs?-bluemonkeyfearer
It hates you? I can't really help you if you don't tell me the error you get.

Why do I always realize that I have mispelled a word AFTER I press the Send button?-bluemonkeyfearer
It's the way of the world, it likes to do embarassing things to you like that.

My mom has misplaced her wallet. Do you know where it is? McDiablo
Near her bed somehow. When she finds it she'll know what I meant. As for you, you need to contact me since I have lost your email address.

My printer is being a bitch again. What should I do to abuse it this time? McDiablo
Beat it with it's own toner and then jam ugly paper into it until it begs for mercy.

note: what is a lot?? note:why would i HIT F5 ,,? just to get the latest version OF,,,,,,, WHAT!????!!!!!!,,,,,F5!! F5 -is the latest version of F5. this sounds like one of them computer "bugs,allergys,OR whatever worrys you,,, kind of thing" ,BUT ,,,,,,,,MY QUESTION IS..,,,DO I HAVE THE LATEST VERSION OF THIS INSANE QUESTION OR NOT!!!!!!? i f not, please do the best you can.. thank ya' very much rayyo77 .
If you can see this answer then yes, it's the latest version. For those that come here a lot (every day), then if they don't have their browser cashe set properly, they won't see the most updated stuff when they come here. So by hitting F5, it refreshes the page and hopefully brings up the newest version.

According to a speech i have to give tomorrow, the bluemonkeys captured me again and gave me a huge carved saphirre monkey award for being the most elusive person they have ever persued. Then, out of shock, I leap off of the nearest cliff, which is, unfortunately, only 10 feet high. I break both my legs. In the hospital, the doctor steals my saphirre monkey and sells it to buy a pair of wooden shoes. Should I attempt another suicide, or go on a crazed random killing spree, or go join the blue monkeys?-bluemonkeyfearer
Crazed killing spree. Never just give up and join anything until you've had a killing spree. I mean, you could try it, but you'll find that it's just not that great.

May 17/04
Answered by: JCP

Why is it that guys can come out of the bathroom raving about how large, smelly, or satifying a crap they just had, but girls palm tampons (unused and clean), and whisper when asking to borrow one? Are we afraid of what guys will think, or other girls? i kindof want to walk to the bathroom someday with one (unused) behind my ear like a pencil.... Eva psychotic
Girls are stupid when it comes to this. We piss blood for a week. This is something that scares the hell out of a lot of people out there. Sure, it's a bit of a pain in the ass to deal with, but hey, it's a whole lot better then popping out a brat. It's like being fearful of asking for a tissue to blow your nose. So walk to the bathroom with it behind your ear. If people get grossed out by knowing you're normal, then they've got some issues of their own and need to grow up. If they get all whispery about it, bring out the old one and have them suck on that for awhile.

why is hip-hop so unbelievably crap? does it have anything to do with how silly the name sounds? what kind of music do sock monkeys like to listen to (or does it vary)? hope it's not hip-hop. - Sven the Masseur
Not being a sock monkey, I can't really say, but those sock monkeys I do know do not like hip hop in any way. Sven? Is that you? I haven't seen you since that night in July. Sorry I left before you woke. Thanks for the massage though.

hey what is up with sexuality i mean what is up with that? confused dick
What is up with the annoying 'what is up' bits in your question?

do you like cheddar cheese? nullboy
Yes I do actually. Are you sending me some?

My mom's spaghetti sauce tasted like it was missing one ingredient. Do you know what it was? McDiablo
Since I am not allowed in the kitchen while food is being prepared, I really can't help you. I know there should be tomatoes in spaghetti sauce, so maybe that was it, though I doubt it. I guess I've had mushrooms in mine before, so that's it, it was mushrooms. You're in BC right? I bet you can find some good mushrooms to use.

Why do people get all irate when the Questionnaire and What If results aren't posted super fast? I can feel your frustration. McDiablo
Aww, see, I knew most of you regulars got it. It takes awhile to get those things put together due to my inadequacies with ASP and data driven websites. The people complain are the people who suck.

So, have you given in and started cheering for the Calgary Flames? They bumped my team out, but still....*sigh* Go, Flames, Go. McDiablo
Oh yes, I will cheer for any Canadian team still in it. My team got bumped out too.

Do you love your mother?
Of course. Is that really all you could come up with? You're sitting there, the textbox sitting empty waiting for your question and that's what you came up with? That's just sad.

HA!!!! I got a 100% on my bluemonkey speech, but I left out the insane killing spree. Do you think I would have gotten expelled if I would have included it?-bluemonkeyfearer
You got 100% without the killing spree? That doesn't seem right. The killing spree is the most important part of any story. Without that, there is no story.

I am getting very VERY angry... four of my textbooks are missing...someone apparently thinks that it is very fun to steal from me... I must kill...but who???? Who, JCP, who????? Who should i stab with my pencil?!?!?!? Must.....kill....-bluemonkeyfearer
First, kill all humans. Then, check and see if they are in your/a parents/a friends car.

Where did we convert from calling a gardening tool a hoe to calling women hoes? I just can't make the transition? -ChunkyFlamingoTesticles
Now before you say this to a gardening hoe, I think you should learn the truth. Ho should be the right way to spell it if you're talking about the chick. Hoe is the gardening tool. Ho, the insult, is a short form of hooker. See that? Hooker. Somehow all the other letters in the word were dropped. Make sense now? So make sure you address the hoes differently from the ho's.

why do they call pens pens and why do the call dogs dogs and why do they call tress tress who makes up these dicky words.
Some chick named Merriam Webster came up with those words.

If we are all suposed to be related and incest is wrong, how exactly did it happen that we came to be? -RedCavyRS99
I don't know what kind of school you go to but I'd run away if I were you.

why does porn with vaginal, turn me on more than anal? -JubeJubes
The anal porn makes you cringe thinking about having stuff jammed up your ass. That, and/or you appreciate seeing a chick fucked normally instead of up the ass.

Why does the print run off the newspaper, onto my hands? is it some sort a tracking device so the sock monkeys can come and rape us??? or are Crusty and Dusty gonna some and steal our chocolate raisins?! :o -Hufflebunny
It's not rape if they get you drunk enough to say yes first, oh wait, that's not right either. Crusty and Dusty can't have chocolate as it's toxic to dogs. The ink is rubbing onto your hands so that it gets into your blood. If you handle enough newspapers, you will have enough of it in you to be traced by the military.

How come in the literal sense suck and blow have perfectly opposite meanings, but figuratively they mean pretty much the same thing?
That's the beauty of slang, it doesn't have to follow any sort of logic.

ok see I keep having these dreams about flying and I end up on the floor......I think my spirit must be leaving my body to fly........am I really flying? I keep seeing Peterpan everywhere I think he wants to take me to neverland with him should I go? Hes teaching me how to fly........ thanks urs truly fairyphantasy
If you stopped falling asleep during crap children's movies, you wouldn't have this problem. Unplug your TV and don't watch it for a month, you'll see how suddenly you stop dreaming.

do you think david corona has a crush o me Rosalinda Hernandez? do you think juan still loves me?or do i have a chance with david corona?do you think he has a crush on me?
I think you should shut the hell up. Juan and I hate you.

Where did the saints go marching in to? The pawn shop? Cause I hate that song. If so, what did they pawn their instruments for? -Hufflebunny
You'd LIKE me to tell you wouldn't you? Well I'm not falling for that trick hufflebunny, you can't fool me into giving away secret plans. Well you just never mind where they go marching and I'd advise you NOT to ask anyone else about this or I'll tear off your paws and use them for keychains.

How long will the Bush Cabal supress the worlds 2nd largest oil supply so the they and their rich friends can manipulate the supply side and get richer? I mean are prices suppose to drop when supply is high? Not fuqin be $2.50????? Thanks, Enroned
This will go as long as millions of idiots keep letting him do it and just watch those idiots vote him in again or have him fix it like he did last time. And no, I am NOT in the US. I live in Canada.

What dilineates the edge of randomness?
That's a hard thing to determine. (Haha, I said hard.) How about you send a few ideas in and I'll tell you why they're wrong. That works.

What would you do if you had just finished firing up a few bodies in the retorts of the gothic funeral home crematorium you lived in, and upon returning to your old wooden coffin filled attic apt. via the spooky old hydraulic lift to check upon the progress of a haunting tape recording you were processing in its gabled wing, you turn to see a transclucent horizontal double-tapered vaporous wisp bending its way at waist heigth around the door behind you and across the room against the windowpanes where it subsequently rolls itself up like a qivering carpet, and with a loud "pop" knocks both lower panes out tinkling onto the roof, then stretching itself through both openings without breaking the frame it passes straight out into the twilight 13 yards or so, makes a sharp 90 degree turn to the right (like a snake around a sharp corner), in midair... travels, turns right again.... you hear "scritch scritch scritch on the roof as it sounds like it scratches its way back toward the buildings crematory stack....Whadya do when you'd always wondered why the windows kept breaking outward around the place, and you we're often, unfortunately blamed, though when the answer appears and its completely anomalous and seemingly ludicrous to describe to anyone as an excuse for such an event???
Well first of all, I'd try discussing it with the ghost. Asking it to stop doing that might work, and then you don't have to tell anyone (living) about any of it. If that doesn't work, then I'd quit and find a new job. Some ghosts are just rude, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

if watching tv or movies in the dark is bad for your eyes...then does that mean that the movie makers n such are trying to kill us all?
If anything, I'd worry about them trying to kill us with horribly shitty movies and that goop they call 'simulated butter'.

May 21/04
Answered by: JCP

so sometimes when i go to sleep i wake up gagging on mucus and then coughing. i try going back to sleep with like 2 pillows, and yet again wake up gagging. it causes me to cough to the point of almost puking. just recently i got up in case i DID puke, and i coughed so hard that i pissed myself and puked snotty slime and food onto the floor. o ya, im also pregnant so that might b some key factor but really, i'm clueless as to why i cough and puke up slime. could you help me out? ~pukeypreggy
As long as you don't touch me with your stomach, everything is cool. As for your puking problem, you are having a frog baby and are puking up the extra slime and such that it has somehow produced down there.

How often would you go to the back door and scream "Tell me the shore!" in one day if you had 70 70 and why?
Only once because after that it's just wrong.

What would happen if I went up to my English teacher who is a hard ass and smacked her on the as.
I would think that the ass would be hard, causing your hand to hurt, and then I would imagine that she'd be very upset and you'd be in a lot of trouble.

What would happen if i told my ex- boyfriend to " Die bastard Die"! And I keyed his car? Queenjen
Being charged for the damage to his car might occur, but mostly I'd imagine you'd become the 'psycho bitch ex' that he could talk about at parties.

What if pigs had long stringy hair what do you think they would be called?
Stringypigs.

why do some humans have really messed up noses?
That's just the way it is. What I'd like to know is why so many people have such messed up heads and yet are so unfun.

what ever happend to that b**** named khia, the girl that talks about cracks & p****. She wanted to be a striper. bye hoes!!!!!! s*** to many,a** chesse.
I'm not sure what the hell is going on here, you must have gotten here by accident.

If you wanted Bunny paws for keychains, why wouldn't you just rip off happy bunny's and use them, instead of hurting your number 1 fan? -holds up sign saying JCP feebly- -Hufflebunny
If it weren't for the sign then you'd have bloody stumps instead of paws. So you get to keep your paws!

If i stoped wearing make- up do you think that my popular friends would still like me? I really hope not because they only like me because they think that we look like we would be friends. I am very confused about the situation. Queenjen
Don't be a dumbass. You're not friends with them.

School is out tomorrow. Should I be happy? -bluemonkeyfearer
I would be! Hurrah!

So I havn't truely stayed at home for the last 6 nights... that is becasue I have been away. Is it a bad thing to go away for a bit... ummm almost like every other week??!?! ~Jeepster
No way, enjoy it while you can. One day you'll be worth more sitting in the garage then out riding trails. It's ok though, you'll be a collectors item. Oh wait, you're actually a Jeep right?

It has been sunny and hot for like the last week, or more!! When will it rain so we don't have so many stupid forest fires this year, cuz those are some scary things! ~Jeepster
If it helps any, then sure, I'll say you get some rain. I know it's raining here, does that help?

Do we really need a gall bladder? I mean...really? McDiablo
My mother had hers removed, and she's still alive, so it appears that no, we don't really need one.

If you met one of your favourite authors, what would you say to him/her? McDiablo
My most favorite are dead (Isaac Asimov & Douglas Adams), so I could say anything I wanted to their dead bodies really. As for living authors, I think I'd talk to Chuck Palahniuk and say, well I'd say I liked his books. Beyond that, I really don't know, it'd depend on the situation but I'd always be sure to thank them for writing their books.

I'm craving bread right now. What are you craving? McDiablo
Ceasar salad at East Side Marios (minus the bacon). Which is good, as I'll be eating there tonight!

Are buffalo wings made out of buffalo?
I was only informed of this stupidity the other day and words can not express how I feel about this stupidity. I am hoping that the stupid bitch is unable to breed.

Why do you get in trouble or thrown in jail for killing someone????
Well it all depends on who you are and how you do the killing now doesn't it? Not all killings put people in jail. Some people are paid to do it.

Hmm...Do you really think it was a wise idea for me to sell my soul to Mephistopheles for power and knowledge? After all...I got a hot girlfriend out of it, but she gave herself up to god...and I got everything I ever wanted...but it never made me happy...should I ditch out on the contract??? Faust
For what? You're a whiner and will never be happy with anything. So shut up already and thank you for speaking in a way that I can easily understand.

May 26/04
Answered by: JCP

What would a Fly be called if it didnt have wings?-... GODS APPRENTICE
Stonrant. That much is obvious.

Are you and yours the upcoming leaders of our nation? If so, we'd better gramb our ankles and kiss our butts good-bye!
I am the leader of the future, and realistically, I'd probably do a better job of it since my head isn't so far up my ass that I can't see straight. My kind of insanity is much more fun.

Which do you prefer? Super NES, Nintendo 64, or Gamecube?
I haven't played on a Gamecube yet, so I would have to go with the N64. If you want to send me the Gamecube then I'd be able to give you a full review.

I had a freezie for breakfast today. What's the oddest thing you've eaten during the morning hours? McDiablo
Breakfast foods are all mushy and nasty, so I normally eat anything except breakfast foods in the mornings. Perhaps the strangest thing ever was spaghetti and garlic bread.

My dad never closes his mouth when he burps--well, hardly ever. My mom gets after him all the time. I'm sure she's told him to close his mouth for as long as they've been married (23 years). Will he ever stop or should I tell my mom to give up? McDiablo
Maybe it's their 'thing'. Parents are messed up like that and I'd bet they enjoy it on some level.

We own this really old exercise bike. I bet it's about 40 years old. What's the weirdest old item you own? McDiablo
I have music/song books from the 20s to 40s. Also, I have slate records from the 20's and 30's, yet I do not know how to use a record player. I don't collect these items, they were given to me and I have no idea what to do with them.

Yo. People dont like Mustard.It is really gross and sour like sour milk. so why do people still eat it?- BoB D. Mouse
I know many people who LOVE it and I can not understand at all why they like it. Perhaps there is something horribly wrong with these people.

If Jimmy (who ever that is) cracks corn and no body cares why did they make a song about him?- BoB D. Mouse
Why is everyone suddenly obsessed with Jimmy and his cracking of corn?

What is the most interesting thing you have done with a food product? -fishmankurtus
I know you're looking for some sort of sexual answer invovling bananans and such, but that's for my paying customers only.

lets use a murder case for example, and the worried (parents) or whatever ask if you have found the killer yet, and the agent or whatever says they have some solid leads. How can you be close to finding the killer for you have more than 1 lead?-freak
They could all be leading to the same person, but yet count as several 'leads'.

how do birds copulate? Physical aspects- I really do not know.
They fling worms at each other and somehow eggs appear in the nest they've built. If you don't believe me, go watch some birds for awhile and prove me wrong.

Would my ex-boyfriend be mad if I keyed his car, and then shaved his head. I'm sure that anything is an improvement to what he looks like now. Queenjen
Why would you want him to look better? If anything, key his face. Uh, insert legal stuff about me not being responsible if you actually do this <here>.

how come in the shower, does hot water make have to pee?
Your muscles get all warm and relaxed. Easiest way to avoid this (obviously) is to piss before you have a shower.

why are there 10 chickens giving each other pedicures in my bathtub? -Hufflebunny
10? If it were 8 or less I'd say just kick them out, but 10? I think you will have to just pretend they're not there until there are 8 or less.

Is it sad that grade 8's and 9's at my school spend their lunch hours in the school library playing pokemon and magic cards?
At least they're not practising being boy/girl bands. Pokemon? Ok, they're just too old for that, tell them to stop.

What should i do if every time i pass a small child or mentally handicapped person they begin to scream, and try to run away? I even tried leaving my wings, horns, and sandwichboard claiming "the apocalypse is now" at home. nothing has worked. i even procured a mirror at one point.... Eva Psychotic
If YOU stopped screaming and trying to run AT them, then I think you'd find they wouldn't scream back etc. Give it a try tomorrow and see how it works out for you.

God damn........It's been a while since I've been here (and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't missed it).......anyways, to my question: Do you think it would be possible that one day EVERYTHING will be done by computers.........for example, school children would be taught by a computer and we wouldn't have to drive cars because a computer would drive them for us...........and in the mean time, all us humans just get fatter and lazier as we watch T.V shows like Jerry Springer all day and eat fried chicken. Possibly those T.V shows would be hosted by a robot........the possibilities are endless. Am I over reacting to the technological world we live in?....who knows. Maybe I've just been drinking too much. Not to mention the frequent use of cannabis..........oh well, sorry for making this so long, I tend to rant sometimes. Love RealmO-K,.......see your special now, cos' I signed it with "Love"....damn I'm a geek...........
Welcome back! Sure, it's possible, and it's possible the human population would also need to be thinned out for this to work, or for other planets to be populated. With machines doing so much, less people are needed. Right?

Why do they call the garden tool a hoe?
The word 'rake' was already taken.

Should I have motion sensors attached to the back of my head so the velour robo rats don't eat my hair follicles?thathinguywhois
That's a good idea and I strongly suggest you implement it immediately.

When will you just admit that your site is shit without DC?
Never. In fact, it's become better. I'm expecting something from DC soon that I can post online here, as I was told that he would be able to eventually start sending out letters if he was well behaved.

Is it wrong that teachers often buy cakes to share Amongst themselves, and eat it in front of the students?
They'd share but it's soaked in alcohol and then you students would know they're drunk all the time.

Grilled cheese with Marble Cheese, Mild, or Old? -Hufflebunny
Marble or old is fine with me. I don't need it cut up any fancy way or anything though. Thanks.

May 31/04
Answered by: JCP

Which do you prefer? Hockey or Ringette?
Hockey.

I have metal in my elbow because of breaking it and having surgery. So why, when I went to the airport, I didn't make the metal detector beep? I was depressed.. I really wanted it to beep!
There wasn't enough metal to trigger it, so I say you break more bones and get more metal so that there is enough.

How come older kids aren't allowed in the play place at macdonalds? We like it better than the four year olds! -Hufflebunny
Too many teens with fat stoned/drunken asses got hurt.

If My sister is Really Ungodly Hot and I have the most amazing sex ever with her should I tell people? Billhgates

Do you think that i could make a career out of sucking my own dick? Billhgates
No, so I say you just skip to the end of your life where you fling yourself from a cliff.

If I hurt my ex- boyfriend's car would he be mad at me? Queenjen
Get over it already. There are much better things to be pissed about out there, so pick something else.

Every time anyone offers me a muffin I decline because I'm afraid once I bite into it it will contain an abundance of pubic hairs. I know when people are afraid of things they just have to confront them but hey, I am NOT eating pubic hair voluntarily. What do I do?
Why aren't you afraid of all your other food having pubic hair in it? Really, any food at all could have them in it. What did you have for breakfast? Lunch? Did you check those foods before eating them? I think muffins are the least of your worries.

When guys are eating girls out and the girls lock their legs around his head and won't let go, do the guys ever die of suffocation? You never see that on the news.
I would think that there are some who do and everyone decides to keep it quiet. Much like those people who get off with self strangulation and end up killing themselves.

Sometimes you just need a good fucking, you know?
Not by you, ever. Just so we're clear.

How many verbs are in the Gettysburg Address?
Two.

My ex- boyfriend is really quiet ans upset since he dumped me,should I go up to him and start insulting him until he starts to cry and then make fun of him in front of his friends. It would make me feel better because i am beautiful and i am a beauty queen and he is a fat jackass that can't even pass a badic english class Queenjen
I think that you need to shut the hell up about the exboyfriend and find something better to do with your time. Or at least do something productive with your anger such as writing great horror stories where exboyfriends are killed horribly.

Hi, I am back...When I disappear where do I go and why cant I remember what happened when Im gone? Does it have anything to do with the smelly sugar lady who lives next door? --Monkeeskittles
I honestly would love to tell you but I just don't know. I'm too afraid to go look in the windows of her house to find out, so you're going to have to ask someone else.

What am I doing here? They sent me! Why? WHY?! - chained
It's ok, you're safe now.

how do you finger a girl
If you're asking then you shouldn't be touching girls.

Why am I seeing flying rubbish bins and getting a strange urge to hide? Turquoiseraven
Your screensaver has finally taken over as it has plotted from the beginning.

how come in porn, they never show the guy's weiner?
You're watching softporn, so they don't show it.

why is love so blind? should iust dive into hatred and destroy myself!sexdeathmarriagedmomportion
No that's too easy. Just forget about it and do stuff that is cool instead.

Why don't you belive in God?...I belive because life would be way too easy if i did. when life is hard ,life is fun.....oh life's like a dick when it get's hard ...Fuck it bye
All signs point to no. Next time you write in, jerk off/play with yourself BEFORE coming here so you don't start writing on about dicks and such.

why does it seem like annoying relatives never want to leave my house? Do they really like it here that much, is it the food? how do i get them to leave? shari
You need to have an absolute fit on the floor until they all flee in fear. You'll want to research mad fits before you attempt one so that you get it just right.

am i strange
Yes, we all are.

It's my birthday wednesday, what are you gonna do? FartMonkey
I'd throw you a party but you'd throw it back at my head. Instead, just read this on Wednesday: Happy birthday.

June 6/04
Answered by: JCP

What if we want to ask a question to DC?... anyway - I was wondering, is there any other kind of sock creature? Apart from sock monkeys. - Mort
I'd suggest you make a note of the question, as you may be able to ask him it soon. There are many other sock creatures, I myself have seen pigs, elephants, grasshoppers and gorillas. If you do a search on ebay every once in awhile then you'll see them.

Why is it browner around your asshole when 'the sun doesn't shine' there? - Mort
Since I don't know, I suggest that you find the answer yourself. All you'd need is a mirror, a tanning booth (or somewhere that allows you to have your ass in the sunlight for awhile), a camera and a journal to make notes in.

when do you loose cravity?
Cravity is not a word so I'm not sure what you're talking about..

I was sick for two days with a cough and sore throat. On the third day, I felt better--like I had conquered the illness. Then the next day I woke up with one plugged up nostril. Today, the fifth day, I have a stuffed up/runny nose. What does my body have against me? McDiablo
It was just bored and wanted something to do for awhile. Once it's had its fun, I'm sure you'll be healthy again. What you need to do is a wider variety of slurpees to keep it amused.

Who broke my camera?! McDiablo
It might have been those invisible troll monkeys that like to take pictures of mud and then break the camera. They're very annoying, and the only way to stop them is to beat them about the face with a stick.

Do you like tortillas? If so, what do you like to put in them? McDiablo
I had these yesterday! In it was lots of cheese, some peppers and mushrooms. It was great, and I just might have another today.

If I was you all along, then who in the fuck was playin' me?
Stan.

I like reading things that mean stuff, but why does it seem like nothing means anything?
Either you are not grasping the meaning of things you read, or you are simply reading the wrong things. If you can't find anything that means anything, then write your own stuff that has meaning.

i think your sexy...wanna ride in my pouch?
As attractive as your offer is, I'm going to have to say NO.

If they have sanitary napkins in sanitariums, would they call the ones in insanitariums insanitary napkins, even if they're just as clean? FartMonkey
No, they, as in the administration, wouldn't call them insanitary. The patients might call them that though, and those in there due to germaphobia would freak out, thinking they're saying unsanitary, and refuse to use them. They would probably try to use toilet paper rolls then, and that wouldn't work very well at all, but hey, they're crazy so what can you expect?

Are you on Myspace? just asking, i don't know if it's been asked before, and besides, i've nothing better to ask, i jut miss u guys and wanted u to know i'm still lingering around the darkest corner...- SiNiSTaR
No I'm not actually. There are people that have stolen our images to use for that, but we don't have accounts there or anything. A LiveJournal account has been set up, but nothing done with it yet. I will mention it in my Nothing Really section when it does get used.

the garden gnome. yes, in the photographs on your website. tell me where you bought/stole/found this creature. i have a bit of an...obsession...with garden gnomes...and dragon tea....but anyway, that is a truly awesome garden gnome. I shall name him Gertrude. and you shall tell me where you accuired him.-Morshada
The garden gnome you speak of belongs to Chester Cheesebun and his wife Shannon. I believe that this one wandered in one night in search of a place to stay during a particularity cold winter night in Ottawa. I'm still not sure exactly what his name is due to it's heavy accent, so we just call him whatever name we come up with at the time. I will try Gertrude on him the next time I see him, and inform him of your kind offer of shelter should he decide to leave Ottawa.

if humans were faster and stronger and dumber than horses, might horses sit on people? well I;m sure quite a few horses are more intellegent than a good lot of people, in a boring sense in which intellegence is measured on a scale, but greph, I'll stop babbling on...-Morshada
Sure, I guess they could. They'd probably make us fancy saddles too, but would they make them of leather? I can't really see horses killing cows to make leather.

OKay, right, so there's this turtle, see? And he lives in the creek across the bridge from my house, see? So everyday I walk by and there he is, in the exact same spot, looking back at me. Except for one day, there was another turtle with him. Watching. What is up with these turtles?!?!?! love, When's Lunch?
Lunch is in about an hour.

What do you do for a living?... I just got this crazy idea of you being an english teacher... Wow... Im now convinced that you are I bet thats an upgrade form your real job, Im not exactly sure. Talk about it hun, Share with us, your LIFE._Dearly Sincere
Computers. I'd tell you more but then I'd have to do a lot of extra typing. I'm not sharing my life with you, it's MINE.

what if I die tomorrow
Then you better write out your will today, as well as destroy all that embarrassing stuff you don't want others to see when they clean out your room/place.

will you ever do SOMETHING about those irritating noises that keep popping up everytime I forget to take my lithium? Hmmmm?! Pleeze?!
I'd be glad to help. Simply contact my office and once we've arranged payment (and you've paid) then I will take care of the problem for you.

Damn, I haven't been here in a while. I'm sorry!!! But, um, yeah...any idea as to when DC's going to be back...? Or did you kill him and feed his body to fire ants? ~CasualFatality
I have a pretty good idea when he's coming back. To be honest, I did think about killing him and feeding his body to fire ants, but decided that it was too much work.

Do you think that I should go to community or state college? Queenjen
Well that depends on a lot of things, so I say you go with both.

does the depreciation of gasoline cars go up or down as we go from gas to electric/hydrogen? -thatguythingwhoisnot pizza!
I was all ready to answer your question until I got to the pizza part. Now I want pizza. PIZZA!

why are girls hoes when they sleep with a mass amount of people but if guys do they are cool as hell
Whoever told you all this lied. That doesn't make them cool.

What would you do if you found a horse in your bed?
I'd be pretty pissed off and it would spark another war between myself and the horses. The way it stands now, we have agreed to stay off each others turf and to avoid all contact. So far it's worked well, so I would assume that any breach of this agreement would be an act of war.

Do you ever expirence reading really fake wierdness? You know they may spew out some abitrury words and crack a sick comment, Have you ever picked up on one those types of entrys/emails to your site? I notice it quite a bit sometimes reading questions... Do u?__Modisesmemesm__
Yes, and a great deal of it gets deleted as well.

How Do you feel and beastility? your comments. Humans in need of special treatment? or an animals favour?-Im sure your opinion breaks these walls or lefty and righty. Cant wait......_COOking
Animals shouldn't be fucked by humans. Instead, I'm sure there are a variety of blow up, plastic and other such toys that replace the need for real animals.

Poo! Thats just poo... Im boored.. wahhh.. No fun..., This just sucks ya know. Just sucks. We wannna doo something. ENTARTAIN ME@!#@#!$! ouchhhh.... children succckk. Yup. Now please entartain me with a humourous rant that will tear these cocksucking bastards apart.Please? __ AnimePornoStar
You're not the boss of me, so instead I'll send you to this rant.

My dad has been trying very hard to keep our 2 year old carpet stain-free. So...when is HE going to finally drop something on it? McDiablo
This is the perfect time for you to design an elaborate trap that involves pulleys and rope and all sorts of fun stuff that will trip him when he's carrying food or wine. Be sure to plan this all out using crayons.

If you had $4. 39, what would you spend it on? McDiablo
At the moment I'd spend it on coffee and pizza.

Do you ever think about Slurpees when the time is 7:11? McDiablo
Normally no, but if I happen to see 7:11 today, then I will think of it.

what is the peabody archive number of the housefly's fourth wing hinge? nazreel
4551579548.65978487854808484877218745114787