Feb 29/04
Answered by: JCP

why is the atmosphere just warm enough and full of oxygen to allow for human life it is a injustice really.thathinguywhois
That's just the way it is here on Earth. If you don't like it then build a spaceship and leave. Don't forget to leave enough room for me and all my stuff as well.

Wassup Mzebonga, Today my English class went to see the movie Hamlet. Believe it or not, the fucken film lasted 4 hours and 15 mins.....................with no break in between I might add. And what can I say, I'm fucken exhausted. Anyways, just wondering if you ever studied Shakespear whilst at school? and if so, what play? and what was your opinion of it?- RealmO-K P.S Once your gone, who do you think will take your place?
I'm not Mzebonga, I'm JCP. In highschool yes I did study Shakesphere. I had to read a number of them and I don't really like them. The old way of speaking is just annoying.

Do you have a fetish? If so, what is it?.....................personally I don't (ummm....would one consider jerking off to the three chicks off friends a fetish???) Once again, this is a question to "help everyone get to know you better" and also.....................What education qualifications do you have?............I'm not incinuating that your stupid....just curious.-RealmO-k P.S Your doing a damn good job as an insane question answerer. :D
I don't think I have a fetish, but then again, I wouldn't want to tell you even if I did, as you'd probably jerk off thinking about it. As for my credentials, I need to see your ID first to prove that you're you.

If I ever get a St. Bernard and name him Mr. Piddles, would you think I was stupid, or do you already think I am stupid, or do you just think I am insane? I think I am insane. -bluemonkeyfearer
I would think that Mr Piddles is a stupid name, and that you were stupid for thinking of it. And you might be insane, but only time will truly tell.

Aunt Flo came by today (if you know what I mean) and along with it came horrible cramps. Oh, and bile! Yay for bile! Ugh. Should I just remove my female body parts and be done with it? McDiablo
Oh yes, and when you're done, please come and remove mine.

Where did my cat go? McDiablo
Well I promised not to tell so I'm sorry, I can't tell you.

I would just like to say that yes, yes i do in fact like the gray background.
Well thanks, however I didn't so I got rid of it for now.

Why in the hell does the US feel like every time we blow the shit out of a country. that we should also help them rebuild the shit we blew up. Is that not the stupidest thing you've ever heard. I mean why would someone want to fix something that they blew up. I've never wanted to fix anything I destroyed......They should make me president.....what are your thoughts on the subject?.....harbingerofhell
I think that they should just stop blowing the shit out of countries. And no, that's not the stupidest thing I've heard.

Can jesus screw himself?-monkey butt
Most definitely.

My question is; I have a teacher (math) who is a real pain. She hates me, and makes it clear. But god, is she hot! What would you say are my chances of getting her to go out with me? -Sky of St.Luke
You have no shot in hell. Basically your only option is to continue jerking off to the thought of her.

can people be insane without a diagnosis?
They can be insane without that AND without a cane. I know it's hard to believe, but it's actually true. Then, when everyone is looking out the window, cameras are installed to record everyone. So later that night when everyone thinks they're alone, they're actually not.

Doesn't it suck sometimes when you sorta get to know somebody without seeing them and then they send you a picture or you see them somehow and they're really ugly or different from how you pictured them? FartMonkey
I haven't run into that sort of problem just yet. I guess it would suck.

Whats one reason why you would turn down sex with paris hilton? warning, your answer might incriminate you as a flaming homosexual. -daniel
Well I'd have to say that she's not my type so I don't find her attractive. In fact, I had to look her up to even find out what she looked like or who she was. If she paid me, then I'd consider having sex with her, but not for less then a couple million. I'm not sure why my answer would incriminate me as a homosexual, so I think you have some issues to work out.

i asked all my friends and they didn't have an answer. so could u just tell me, because i really need to know? (Phantom)
I'll tell you everything you need to know, and a lot of stuff you didn't want to know, but that's the price you pay.

if i asked you a question would u not be lame about it by just saying yes or no? (Phantom)
It depends on the question really. There are many questions that only deserve yes/no answers.

what do you think of the german technique of human plasticization, and dissection, is it a new art form or just gross 9and scary?thathinguywhois
It's an art form and science as well. More useful then digging a hole in the ground and leaving the body there to rot.

Do you think I should change my name to Fandango? - Mzebonga
I've told you before and I'll tell you again, YES. Just do it already.

if you had a pet nun what would you name it?
Bitchface.

Do you think I should quit smoking? -RealMo-K..........not really an insane question...........but how many are lately?.
Yes you should quit and not many.

Iv'e shared a couple of conspiracy theories here, so now I think JCP should share one with me and the rest of the world.............JCP if you have one would you be so kind, as to tell us what it is............. I'm glad your back, Mzebonga was O.K but your heaps better than him. Mzebga has a bit of a mean streak, but still really funny. But I gotta admit, no one can ever take the place of DC, do you think there is any chance he will be back? And If so what percentage of a chance? I'm guesing 50% chance. Realmo-K
I'm not sure if I should tell you mine. It might be a trick of some sort to get me to post my ideas online so that you can sell my thoughts to the government. Well not this time kid, not this time. Mzebonga does have a mean streak, and I'm not too sure what the reason is for it. Then again, he probably just hates stupidity in all its forms. As for DC, well I'd like to think that it's just a matter of time before he comes back, not if he will come back or not. Besides, we're going to have some new people join the site soon, and we won't need that bitchmonkey DC.

are fish evil
How could they NOT be evil? Everything about them is evil.

Is my fucking dad in hell trying to pull me down?
There is no actual hell, you do know that right?

### I know this is a really old, cliche-ish question, but Why is the sky blue? It's not the 'reflection off the sea' because that's just dumb, because the sea reflects off the sky. It's really itching my brain. ### #RANDY#MANDY
This will tell you what you need to know. It's amazing what you can find by searching on Yahoo or Google.

### Who the HELL thought it was a good idea to invent popup adverts? They must die now. ### #RANDY#MANDY#
They must die painfully now.

Mar 5 /04
Answered by: JCP

Did you leap around this past leap year? McDiablo
No I didn't, in fact I had forgotten about the whole thing!

What do you think of our new Prime Minister? I really don't know what to think, mainly because I don't pay attention to politics. I don't know if you do, but I just thought I'd ask you about something I only half-care about. McDiablo
I'm in about the same position you are. Anyone who gets to be Prime Minister or the Presiden is already corrupt well before they even get there, so they're all about the same.

Is there a song stuck in your head right now? McDiablo
No actually. Normally I do.

I desperately NEEDED the Lord of the Rings books. I bought the entire trilogy in one book for 20 bucks. I was half-heartedly attempting to save that 20 bucks. Was it stupid of me to spend it?-bluemonkeyfearer
Well considering those books are insanely long and filled with stupid hobbits singing, I would have instead spent the money on the DVDs.

what would u do if u were a member of the opposite sex for a day? glitter me
The first thing I would do is go and jerk off. After that, who really cares?

G'day JCP, glad to have you back. Do you have a tertiary education?, if so what did you study? If not, is there a specific couse you would like to study? I ask this because I'm in my last year of High school and I'm still contemplating going to university. I basically just want to know what other people thought of their university experience. Feel free to give me a butt monkey award for this one....RealMo-K
No I haven't been to university. One day I will go, but it won't be for a job. From those I know, the only people who actually got something from university are those who knew what they wanted at the end of it. Those who just took it because that's what people do, then they dropped out, and all that money was wasted. So if you truly KNOW that you want to take the schooling and accomplish something after you're done, then go for it and study etc. If not, then save the money and go when it's worth it. Most people need to actually work in the field they THINK they want to be in just to see if they actually do like it.

Are you a dog or a cat person?, personally I'm neutral.-Realmo-k
I'm more of a cat person then a dog person. Dogs are too big, too loud and they smell.

if one person holds the door open for an monkey followed by a strange orange bannana that whispered to me six 4 6 y should i then reply with the opposite h 4 h then slap him with my testicles and then listen to my friends scratching a blackboard? rambo
Everything but the testicles. That you save for special occasions like a trip to grandma's.

is it morally wrong to have an evil plan to save the world????
To save the WORLD? No. To save the PEOPLE, yes.

On the issue of the darwinian theory of evolution, through natural selection, do you consider this to be a justifiable scientific reason for the history of biogenesis or do you believe that it was an attack on socio-political and religious values and beliefs at the time?-RealMO-k.
I've told you over and over to do your own homework. STOP emailing me. STOP sending me messages. STOP showing up at my house with your textbooks. STOP phoning me. STOP waiting outside my house for me. STOP following me around town. STOP IT.

What is your opinion on interterestrial life forms? Are you a skeptic or a believer? I feel for an insane site, the topic of alien existance through out the universe is not really discussed as often as it should. Then what if there is aliens? (which I'm about 95% confidenty there is), then that would make us aliens. What would the aliens look like? do you think they could speek?, would they be carbon based and be able to maintain homeostasis in our planets climate.......................or maybe they havn't been back since Roswell (if there were any in Roswell), because the green house effects has made it impossible for them to remain living while here, due to the slight rise in temprature........ahhhh!!!! so many questions...I'm outer here....laterz. *RealmO-K*
Of course there is life out there. There is no way there isn't. I'm not sure how they would look or speak or anything, as they are alien. As for the rest, the only way for me to find out is if you build me a spaceship so I can cruise around and find these aliens for you.

good to see you back jcp, however I enjoyed someone being intolerant of my illiterate raving (Mzebonga)but any way... why are crazy animal storys so popular as insane questions?very strange, oh well anyway would you like to live on the moon? Thathinguywhois
If you would like, I could be quite intolerant of your raving. SHUT UP YOU SNIVELING WEASEL. Who cares about stupid animal stories? I'll go live on the moon where you can't ask me questions anymore. Now shut the hell up.

how long till we assume DC has just died? or better yet, if he's not already dead, how long until we just kill him? - EmprissNikon
Even if he is dead, I say we dig up the body, jam sticks up his ass and piss on the rotting carcass.

Why are lawn gnomes so damn evil? -Phantom
They are made with evil clay, which turns into evil pottery, which is then painted with evil paint.

How long 'til Nikon gets over DC? How long after that should I wait before I make a move? - Fandango
I don't think she ever will. What you need to do is make yourself a sock monkey costume and wear it to her place. Once you spew forth some insane randomness, she'll start touching your tail.

Can you lick your elbow?
To be honest, I don't think I've ever tried, and I'm not about to start.

If i capture an evil space alien made out of cheese with cosmic butterfly net will i become famous? Cosmic Justice Dude
Oh yes, of course. Everyone loves cheese.

What's the weirdest thing I can ask my girl freind?
Ask her to clean out your toenails using a specifically colored toothpick. Tell her whatever is collected must be put into a jar and saved. That's sorta weird.

so jcp answering again! whopee! I bet we all pissed our pants like i had when the preclusion of transformers was that optimus and megatron were ex-lovers and just anger at each others betrayl.., but learned to forgive once they finally met up in the galaxy of bots. But what im trying to say is the episode sucked and you are sucky as much as the episode had sucked and i pee my pants when i witness crappy things. So, are you thinking of transforming your performance in the answers due to my complaint(question mark key doesnt work)I think i gave some constructive critisism to learn by,stop the suck like the episode had exampled, Think about the comparison... hmmm- . You know talent (or attract it) but In my opinion you arnt.And yes that episode is real, transformer fans of a later year era know it._Caker
If you hadn't included the transformers references, I would have simply laughed at your stupid question and moved along. I must point out that Megatron would never fuck Opitmus Prime because Optimus Prime was a big loser. How scary, a TRUCK. Big deal, no one is impressed, least of all Megatron. So whatever you were watching was a cheap porn ripoff of the Transformers and you suck for believing it was the REAL Megatron. So you go on and piss your pants over that.

Ok, there's this nasty looking fuzzy blob thing on the floor of my living room. It's been there for about a week. What is this thing, and how do I go about getting rid of it? Or is it some form of Couch Monkey that just wants to be left alone? ~CasualFatality
It is you. That square thing on the floor is a mirror, and you've been staring at yourself for a week. Time to get up, powerwash your ass clean and take some exercise.

Why did you chance the stinky monkey butt award ? I liked the lil' ol' butt ! Were people complaining about it or something ??-me
We changed it, not chanced it. It will be back shortly, so you'll just have to fondle your own ass until it returns.

Corks can be fun, right ?-sokp
I'd like to say yes, but let's face it, they aren't and they never will be. Even when you slice it up and pretend it's flooring, it's still not fun.

why can u not smoke a joint through ur ass i want it to smell good down there G-star
Just light it on fire and jam it up your ass until it smells good.

### How can you ask 'What is the meaning of meaning?' when you don't even understand the meaning of the question you're asking? You need to understand the actual meaning of meaning so you can't ask what is the MEANING of meaning because you don't know what mean actually MEANS. How can you ask that? #RANDY#MANDY#
All those number signs are annoying. Are they ALL needed? Is it Randy? Or Mandy? Perhaps you have a split personality that we need to be informed of. Next time just pick ONE name, and use the number sign ONCE.

Why is it that when there's anthing that might be considered otherwise it is all the more difficult to figure out similar problems that require a modicum of that rare quality designated as the farthest thing from whatever anybody else might have had in mind?
It's Friday afternoon and you're asking me THIS? Forget it.

Why do I read the answers before I read the questions? - Mr. Mortician
The answers are the best part of course.

Mar 10 /04
Answered by: JCP

You seemed to react quite abruptly when I asked you about a science based question.....so I'll try not to anymore. Anyway, Do you think it's normal to read magazines back to front.....obviously I don't do this with books, but I'm just wondering if other people do this too.-RealMO-K P.S what is your favourite magazine?, I like "new scientist".......haha! I'm unsure if it's available in North America, other than that mad is pretty cool.
Did I? Well that happens. I'm very passionate about science. With magazines, it doesn't really matter what order you read them in. Since they are just little articles, pictures and such splattered all over the magazine, I think they intend for people to browse through it instead of reading it strictly front to back.

what does after birth taste like and what are the after effects...... LeatherFace49 from TX
Since I've never eaten after birth, I can't help you. I can say that I will NEVER know that answer, as I don't like being around anything pregnant, much less stick around for the birth.

Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea? - Mzebonga
You do Mzebonga. Remember when I came over and we played hide-the-grapes? For all those who missed out, it was great fun.

Why is it fair that everytime a guy comes he has to pick up the seat, while a girl can just leave it?
It's not fair, but who says it's a rule? If a guy puts the seat up to piss, then isn't that nice he's not pissing on the seat? And if chicks bitch about the seat being down, then they're stupid. It takes more time to bitch about it then to just put it down and stop thinking about it. If a chick sits down and finds the seat was left up, then next time she'll smarten up and learn to LOOK before sitting down on something.

what does 'Meh' mean?
It's more of a non-answer then anything. It's those moments that you MUST say something, but you really have no thoughts or feelings on the subject, or just want to say safe and not truly answer.

there is a sharp burning pain in the left side of my scalp and when people say things like 'sup' and 'howzit hangin??' i feel the need to hang them and cut off their testicles, what should i do about this?
I say you go with your gut instinct. Also, take pictures of the removed testicles and send them in here so we can all see.

is it legal to paint the whitehouse black when no-one is looking and then to shave your nose while repeating a terribly catching song at a police man who was a school cleaner and spray dish-washing liquid at your brother who broke a water balloon over your head?
Well that would be in the US and they don't like anything. You'd probably be called a terrorist, be set up to take the fall for a bunch of other things, and your family would be harassed and then killed (made to look like accidents) and a spanking from the President.

Wheres that sanimal personality?, how come hes not around? Did i miss something? Wheres Dc? Jcp owns this place right?Well why doesnt she hire someone to answer these questions? She doesnt seem to enjoy it by her previous answers on Feb 5th, Are You ok Jcp? Life is treating you ok and ditto to it? Im digging the new format, its new and nice..? oops... uh ...-Clanky
SAnimal has left for now, as he wasn't contributing anything anymore. When he is able to, he just might return to spew forth some more rants. I was thinking of putting his old rants on here somewhere, but don't know where yet. DC is off for awhile with a new job. Hire someone to answer these? I'm sure I could, but what would I pay them with? No money is made from this website (well it WOULD if people bought shirts) so it's left to me and poor saps like Mzebonga to answer them. I'm doing all right today, not feeling the best but that's ok. Glad to hear you like the new logo etc and layout, as I've been trying to clean the site up.

Will you come to Australia to hang out with me if I pay for your plane ticket? -ReaLmo-K
Of course! When should I book time off work?

On the topic of aliens (I promise, this is my last one), do you think the majoiry of the species reproduce asexually,. that means they basically reproduce without a mate (I know your not the science type), or do you think it's done with a partner of the opposite sex?-RealMo-K
Well, the thing with aliens is that you can't assume they are like us, or any other life form on earth. I'm sure there are many out there who do produce asexually, and most likely there are many different aliens out there who reproduce in a manner that we simply didn't realize existed. That's the cool thing about aliens, we have no real idea what they could be like at all.

Where do all the flowers go when the snow falls and we all run home?-Policer
Flowers dig themselves into the earth using roots and when snow falls, it tries to dig down deeper. Since the top bit of the flower isn't as good at digging like the roots are, it simply dies, leaving the roots down in the ground. Sometimes as the snow falls, you can actually hear the flowers and plants screaming as they die.

Yesterday was upsetting as i spent the entire day preparing for today and now what i had prepared for has not happen, Am i suppose to be a loser? and should I just stop resisting it? If i did do you think good things will happen?desprete need of guidance and I cant seek it from no where else even if my helpers intention is for laughs... but does it have to be?-_|]Snokki[|_
Since you didn't really supply any details, I'd have to say that you should just suck it up and deal with it. At least you were prepared. I'm sure that's good for something.

Well, for a bit of background information, i quit smoking, so now i must help myself cope with my new habit: collecting toes. i eat toes sometimes, its really quite theraputic. may i have your toe?- Morshada
Congrats on quitting smoking! Collecting toes is much better then smoking, and you can have any of my toes except for the big and pinky toes. I need them for balance.

i must have added to many toes to my toe collection, because now i am being haunted my little men made of the broken ends of juicy fruit gum. they follow me, and tell me that they are the gaurdian angels of those who's toes i have severed, who could not get to a doctor in time and bled to death. not i personally think these people are pretty stupid, if they could not find a way to block the bloodflow themselves, and they do not deserve gaurdians that are made of juicy fruit. i dont know how to get the little juicy-fruit men away from me. i tried chewing one, but it exploded in my mouth and gave me bad burns. what should i do to get them away from me?-Morshada
If it were me, (which it wouldn't because I don't like feet.) then I would rent a steamroller and just flatten those annoying little bastard men. You could then add flattened toes to your collection.

Did you get my story or was my attempt to email it to you completely and utterly pointless?-bluemonkeyfearer
I did get it, and did send you email to say thanks for sending it. I'm horribly slow when it comes to email (maybe even slower then DC) so don't take it personally that I didn't respond quickly. I will read it soon and let you know if I will post it or not. I was also sent an insanely long story by someone, but damn, does it drag on, and it's barely even funny. They said it would be sick and gross, but it was just annoying.

I like the latest jim story, reminds me of a 'kids in the hall' sketch(which is hilaurious) Cant remember if they had one exactly like the 'jim stories' format(cept with pics of course) though...they probably did it once, not as a consistant bit... maybe not though.I dunno. Is mzebonga a fan of kids in the hall? do you have an opinion about the comedy sketch show?- Feel FreeTo feel me
I told Mzebonga that you liked his story. He hasn't seen it, but I have seen it and don't remember any skits such as that. I used to watch that show a lot, as I found it funny, but it's never on anymore and I think I've seen them all anyway.

well the other day, me and my two partners-in-crime were watching the movie "school of rock." they began saying the names of bands, and songs, and other things a lot. each time it was a song we liked, we would sort of go a bit spazzy, you know, yell and cheer and the bit. well the spazzies got spazzier and spazzier, until at a climactic point, jack black's character said "great gig in the sky," while recomending a song to a person. at the name of this song, we all spontaneously leaped out of the places we were sitting (them=chairs, me=the floor, i was laying), and really went psyco, running madly about, running into eachother,randomly high-fiving inatimate objects and eachother, and screaming a bit too. we threw popcorn. we fell, and knocked over funiture. in your opinion, is this normal movie behavior? have you ever reacted this way to the name of a song? do you think there are worms possibly growing in my nose?i know, that was more than one question, but answer, please.-Morshada
Is this normal movie behavior? No. But that's a good thing. It means that you can react like this over certain movies, but don't have to with all, and let's face it, most movies suck so much all you want to do is vomit. It's good that you actually enjoyed a movie. Worms could be growing in your nose, but I'd check your ears first.

If a person had a spit personality and one personality decided to kill the other personality would it be murder of suicide? or both?
Both.

what do you think of those toilets that shoot a stream of water up your ass after you have taken shit? I think it's good that it's a clean thing to do, but imagine what it would be like on a cold winter morning....seroiusly, I would prefer to burn the germs off with a blow torch. _RealmO-K
I'm not into having water shot up my ass. To avoid this, I'm quite willing to wipe my own ass.

What do you think of gothic people? P.S I would just like to say I have nothing against goths (actually a couple of my friends are goths) anyway, I'm sick of people ridiculing them and me because I am friends with them. Seroiusly, why are people so fucked up? RealMo-K
Around here, there are few goths who actually pull it off in a classy way. The rest are just bored little teenagers who think that wearing black clothes and lipstick make them goth. The few who do it in a classy way, I have no problems with. The rest should stop their nonsense and wipe the black lipstick off their bratty faces. People are fucked up because it's what they're good at.

What are your top 5 favourite bands?-ReaLmO-K Mine are: deftones, system of a down, slipknot, sunk loto and prodigy
Faith No More / Mr Bungle / Pop Will Eat Itself / Hansel / and I don't know what to put as the fifth. Basically, I don't really have FNM in my playlist anymore since I've heard them so much, but they are still listed as my favorite band. I don't really have BANDS that are my favorite, I like certain vocalists/artists.

Do you care what RealmO-K's favourite bands are? - Mzebonga
I care as much as I care about that collection of odd colored jellybeans that you have in your room. For those that don't know, Mzebonga has an obsession with this and maintains a collection of 2000+ jellybeans. He's shown me some of his collection via webcam, and it's quite impressive. He even has little containers for each jellybean, along with a label and the color of bean that it SHOULD be.

JCP Are the lizards blue on your moon car's windshield?thathinguywhois
There are no lizards on my windshield/windscreen, I pried them all off with a hockey stick.

What's the weirdest thing you've eaten for breakfast?...if you eat breakfast, that is. McDiablo
Normally I don't eat breakfast, but sometimes I do. I think the weirdest thing I've had for breakfast is veggie lasagna.

I like to take quotes from TV shows, movies, and books and use them randomly in a conversation. Is there ever a wrong time NOT to quote? McDiablo
At funerals isn't the best time, unless it really applies and is completely called for. Other then that, it's never wrong. You might have to explain quotes to those who don't get it, but that's normal.

My room is finished being "made over" so I no longer have to sleep on my couch. Woohoo! But, why is it that our couch cushions are 100 times more comfortable than my mattress? I feel like such a ... traitor. McDiablo
Well if that's true, then I say you drag the couch into your room and put your bed in the living room. If you cleverly disguise the bed as a couch by placing pillows on it nicely and putting a nice sheet over the bed, no one will be the wiser.

what sound would purple, green and orange make?
The sound of a dog barking.

Mar 15 /04
Answered by: JCP

if Frenchies are so dumb? How come they haven't killed themselves off aka Darwin Award style??
That's one question put as two isn't it? Anyway, I sense that you do not actually hate the Frenchies. Instead, I think that you actually LIKE them, and truth be told, you cheer for their hockey team. Don't think we don't all know. You and that Habs jersey, for all the world to see. Don't think I didn't notice. You love the Frenchies!

st.patricks day is coming up, so i hear. how will u spend the bloody holiday? chunky funky seXXXy monkey
Another stupid holiday I don't celebrate. It feels like there is one every month to annoy me. If they ALL got me days off work then that'd be another story.

Doesn't it suck when your on your period and after you take a shit and wipe your ass the tampon string gets in the way. So when you pull out your tampon by the string you get shit on your fingers. Is there a solution to this problem?- Hot socks out of the dryer
The solution is to not wear tampons or to just yank that bloody wad of cotton out of yourself before you shit and jam in a new one before you leave. What REALLY sucks is when that string gets all jammed up inside as well so you have to dig it out using a toothbrush.

Are you mental? Would you ever concider going to Nuttown to visit the mentals?-Sickle
Oh I'm quite mental, but I'd have to say no to Nuttown. It sounds like a lot of fun, but it's not.

Is it the world that is against me or is it just me... cuz I jsut have 3 tests this week in a 3 day span and I think the world is turning against me.. is it so? ~ Jeepster
It's not the world against you, just those you know, and those who know you. They want you to crack so they can love you and take care of you forever.

How come when you disappear off a message board for a year (doo deee doo) people ask "where ya been", better yet why do they remember you? And how come after they ask that they make it such a big deal that you are back? ~Jeepster
That would be weird to have people remember you after such a long period of being away. What sort of creepy people remember you unless they had some sort of sick obsession? I say you just run until you fall down.

If everything tastes like chicken then what do chickens taste like?-Hot Socks
Everything DOESN'T taste like chicken. Cheese for instance does not taste like chicken. Also, who says your socks are so hot?

If a girl and a guy randomly sleep together, why does society call the girl a slut and the guy a pimp? - fuzzy peach
Well they wouldn't if you didn't keep saying that sort of thing. Let's face it, we're all whores in our own ways, both chicks and guys. Admit it! You're a whore.

If India was Outdia What would the Indians be out daein'?
They'd be kicking your ass like I wish I were right now.

If the sky is blue and the grass is green, how much strawberry jam would it take to smother the Earth?-bluemonkeyfearer
Two very large jars.

sometimes when i have to piss or shit real bad, my hands begin to tingle... does that happen to you? *CharlieChooChoo
Every day. Seriously, you wouldn't BELIEVE the tingling.

Do you like to toy with people's minds? McDiablo
Yes, but not in a viscious way unless they're very annoying and stupid. Then again, I might be saying that just to toy with YOUR mind. I don't think I am though.

Some people often mistake Emerald for a boy. I mean, I know she's a girl. She's got that 'girl' look about her, but how can people (who are not entirely familiar with sock monkey culture) be able to tell the difference? McDiablo
It's how you determine smart people from dumb people. If they look and realize that she's female, then they're smart people. If not, they're stupid and should be pelted to death with bottles.

Why must my brother choose dinnertime as that 'wonderful' time to talk about gruesome things? [Like about a man whose arm was cut off and then re-attached] McDiablo
When does the gruesome part of the story begin? Besides, it's his job to be like that. He's your brother.

am i sexy?
Not really no.

How much do those Fisher Price Puppies suck? - Mzebonga
You love them and they love you. Just deal with it.

Will I fulfil my true potential or am I damned to a life of failure? - Mzebonga
Well your true potention IS a life of failure, so I'm not sure how to answer.

How do you leave an idoit in doubt?... i'll tell u tommorow.- craseyeye
Come closer so I can punch you in the face.

Don't you hate it when people called "craseyeye" ask you really shit questions then answer them straight away? Why don't you sandpaper his face to the bone? - Mzebonga
That is a damned good idea. I assume you'll be recording this via webcam as usual.

what would you fight for? why? is it all worth it?the blue clowns ate my toast should i mangle thier red noses?thathinguywhois
I'd fight for whatever I felt was worth fighting for. It's never all worth it, no matter what they tell you. The blue clowns have blue noses, so you better find out of it was red clowns dressed as blue clowns or blue clowns with painted red noses to look like red clowns dressed up as blue clowns.