NO one can answer me, so, I thought I'd ask you.  What is the meaning of life?
42... haven't we discussed this?

since your updating these things anyway, think you could open your icq and authorize me?
Done and done.

Do you have a girlfriend?
No I do not.  I have a sockfriend.  

if i keep sending pointless questions will you ever break your word and just not show it?
That all depends on how bad your question is... I do delete some... all the nonsense ones.

So are we ever gonna find out who's better? moses or jesus. or is this some dramatic little lure to keep us on the edge of our seats?
I think that no one will ever agree... so instead of fighting about it, you should spend that time on getting me money.

Why is it that your the only one that seems to be doing anything on this page? Empriss Nikon really wants to know.
I am currently the one updating it... however JCP does it sometimes.  She is busy selling candles, Starlight Dreams is her company... and our only sponsor :)  We're going to offer insane candles soon through her... and that will rock.    SAnimal is busy for awhile (he wrote a thing for xmas though), and Sylvia is helping JCP.  So I'm alone at the moment... which is why quotes and reviews haven't been updated recently. 

HAHAHA i got a little green bird skull by my question YAY hahaha this isn't really a question, but DC, u are now my idol, you have changed my whole perspective on life, now i can do anything for just mere shits and giggles, hmmm i guess i should ask something here....is it normal to feel certain desires for common kitchen appliances? also..i want a sock monkey, i feel so lonely..and depressed, i need someone to talk to, and a life time soulmate, where can i get a sock monkey? i want one named alfonso, who has a certain fetish for chopping carrots in blenders...I LOVE YOU DCCC
Yes it is normal to feel desires for kitchen appliances.  I would highly recommend a sandwich maker.  They are compact, friendly and make excellent pizza sandwiches. As for a sock monkey... we're working on getting them made so we can sell them... they're not that easy to find anymore.

i just wanted to say that i love this site and your doing a great job answering questions and stuff :)
Why thank you... I try!

what do you call a sock monkey who likes to go around kissing people?
A sock monkey... and perhaps a Sexual Sock Monkey... where is this monkey?  I'd like one...

Am i god?
If you have to ask... the answer is no.  

is there a suck thing as a cats last meow
That would be the last meow that the cat makes.

what is your icq number, ill talk to you
It's on my member file!  Silly people....

you seemed to have gotten more sarcastic and cynical than usual lately... are you ok?
xmas pushes me to the very limits of my insanity.  This is why after xmas every year, I have to go explode in a forest.

A guy I trusted let me down, now I don't trust him.  But I want him to trust me so I can get even with him.  How do I earn his trust?
Try sleeping with his sister... that way, you'll be like brothers!  If he doesn't have a sister, try it with a brother.  If he's an only child... his mother will do.  Everyone trusts their dad right???

Ok what should I do there is a bomb in front of me and i have 2 either pick the red or blue line to deactivate it what one should i pick and then how could i reactive it for i can put it in somebodys house that i hate? please respond a/s/p
Cut them both.  That way, you got the right one.  Once you cut it, to reactivate, you need to tape it together with electrical tape and tie it off with a marrette.

what did u get for x-mas
crap... socks... stuff... food... socks

how can i get away from my old aunt bertha?
pretend to have a really bad cold, and tell her you don't want to get near her because you don't want to see her sick either.

Why is it that no matter where i go or what im doing some really scarey person always trys to come up and talk to me?
No idea.  Maybe they aren't scary and your glasses are just broken.

I have dreams where i know its a dream... but right when i realize its a dream... I WAKE UP!!!!!! Is there anything i can do from waking up... oh and also i died in my dreams a few times, but instead of waking up, i return from the "dead".... ever happen to you?
Tell yourself repeatedly before you go to bed "I will not wake myself up from a dream."  Yes that has happened to me.

Why is it that lase at night if you are on the phone everything in your room stairs at you?
Because it is all tired and waiting for you to shut the hell up and turn out the lights. 

DC, can you control your dreams if you know you're dreaming?
Yes.  That is called lucid dreaming.  Lucid dreaming is when you know you are asleep, and you can within the dream control what is occurring.  I have done it many times.

why is it that on any given day there maybe 3 or four poeple on my contact list, but you get on on christmas and every one of them is on?
Because, like you, they are searching for a way to impress their cousins who are their age, and trying to escape from parents, aunts and uncles, but most of all, from grandma.

how excited is properly excited about getting a good quesiton award?
Well you shouldn't get so excited that you spray cum all over your monitor or soak your chair, but perhaps a mild stirring and perhaps an erection would do.

Why is it that whenever i try to be nice to someone they crack my head open with a 2X4...
Well your idea of being nice is giving them a head rub with your chin.  People don't like that, and since you hang around a lumber store, that's what's around to hit you.

how am i supposed to hold up this illusion that i have no life and spend it on the internet, when you won't update the questions?
I do update the questions... even on shitty xmas.

i know this comment is really late, but to answer that chicks question about why breasts fascinate men, the answer is instinct. larger breasts indicate fertility and ability to feed infants well.
Well, as sick as that is... I don't think anyone is turned on by the idea of having a chick breast feed in front of them.  That's fucking SICK.

strange... i swear like it'll be outlawed tomorrow, yet i find the word cunt to be offensive. what the fuck?
I think you have a problem.  Perhaps you should see a doctor about this.  Perhaps the reason you find it offensive is due to the fact that everyone around you yells it at you.  Maybe they have a point....

have you ever been bi-curious, DC? have you ever had a homosexual experience? do you pack fudge?
Yes, No, No I don't care for fudge or chocolate.

i have a similar problem to that other dude. my cats don't like one of my friends, and they like everyone. should i trust him?
NO... cats are always right.  Obey them.

this one guy made fun of my family because we have to work to get our money and his family is on welfare. he told me that we sucked because his family didn't have to work. i laughed my ass off at him, but i was confounded at how exactly to show him that his attitude was that of a fool and that his philosophy was fucking stupid. what should i have said, instead of just laughing and walking off?
You should have smacked him and said "welfare won't get you a lawyer fuck boy"  Welfare is for those who can't work, not for lazy people who don't deserve it.  Those people should be hunted down and forced to clean the streets.  I HATE people who mooch off welfare.

what is your favorite band after faith no more?
That's a tough one... among the possible answers are Korn, Type O Negative (although their new album BLOWS), Smashing Pumpkins, Pop Will Eat Itself, David Bowie, Mr. Bungle, Godsmack, Alice In Chains, and plenty others... It really depends on my mood!

do any of the other members(besides sanimal) ever get jealous that you're the most popular one?
I haven't asked them... but I don't think JCP would... she started this whole thing in 96... Sylvia doesn't care really... so just SAnimal gets a bit touchy... 

If Hollywood is run by Jews, why the hell are there so many damn Christmas specials?
That is a damn good question that I don't have an answer for!! I guess it's what sells

... am i sexy?
If you have to ask... you don't want to know.

What size shoe do you wear?
No idea... I have been wearing the same pair of Doc Martins for 7 years.

to the guy who was ecstatic over winning one good question award: i looked back and it turns out i've won four. sorry, i just had to gloat!
Way to go.. :)

What is a clit?
If you have to ask.. you are not doing anything right... look it up on the internet... and get yourself a girlfriend.

When will I die?
Probably not soon enough... just don't breed.

does my ass feel good?
I would have to ask your boyfriend... he would know.

I have no question.  Why is that?  I think I know everything.  So what do you do all day?  Do you sit in front of your computer and actually enjoy wasting time answering stupid questions about sock monkeys...you should spend your time reading shakespeare or something......anyways please answer my question with sincerity...i dont like sarcasm...thank you!!
I work Monday through Friday at a boring job... and I answer questions when I can.  I have read shakesphere and many other things... I am an avid reader.  Was this sincere enough?  

if you remember that sock monkey that keeps kissing people, i saw it at some store called store of knowledge.. i almost bought it but im broke!  do you feel that the sock monkey is your bestest best friend?
I'm not sure if he's the best friend I have... but he's up there.  We're working on getting sock monkeys to sell... he's not happy about that.

when do you update friends and members?
When I have a moment... and when there's a few to update.

You say you're nickname is Demon Child, but my nickname is also DemonChild.  That's what people (friends & enemies) call me at school.  Just wanted to let you know so you won't think I stole your nickname.
I didn't think you did... I'm sure I'm not the only demonic thing out there!!  I'm not that egocentric!

I lost my number...can I have YOUrs
Oh... one of the worst pick up lines ever... and no you may not.  It's mine damnit...

Once sock monkeys take over the world do u think that the cats will get mad and try to eat them or will the sock monkeys kill that cats but if cats know everything and they are always right then they would know that the sock monkeys were going to kill them and take over the world how would that work? and also would u be one of there leaders
The cats and the monkeys will have to learn how to get along.  I would not be a leader, but an advisor to help them through their difficult times.

Sometimes I wonder. Do you ever wonder? What kind Of things do you wonder. I wonder why people suck so much. Boy o Boy, people sure do suck!!
Yes I do wonder.  I wonder a great many things for no apparent reason.  And yes, people sure do suck.

With such low insanity rates in England how do you suggest we can get as fucked up as the americans?
Well, first take your morals and shove them up your ass.  Then begin to see everything as dollar amounts.  Assign amounts to people as well.  Then begin to go after the things that are worth the most, no matter who you step on.  That's a good start.  After that, begin to question it all.

seth, how many of your friends actually go here? And yes of c ourse you know me.
Well there you go Seth.  Think hard... and hey.. wait a minute... you mean ALL your friends don't go here???  

fine... i give you a gift certificate to your fav. music store... i ignore your extremely small genetalia.. and you can have all the emotionless sex you want... will you just say yes already...
Well... OK. But it'd be nice to know your sex first.... might change the positioning or cost you more.

Have you ever been in love?  With a human?  That was not a member of your family?
Yes. Yes. Yes.  

The insane are gifted, don't you think? I mean, only the insane can be insane, right?  But really, then, that makes no sense, because that would make the non-insane people sane, which they aren't at all! They are the insane ones, right? So then, the insane people would be sane, but if the insane were sane, then sane wouldn't mean insane, but sane, and sane is not the same as insane by any means.  I think the insane (sane) people are the gifted ones, they know everything, it's the sane (insane) people that really are insane... You know what i mean?
Exactly!  Now try saying that 10 times real fast...

why don't you update the questions everyday? i get sad when you don't update the questions. you have a cult following you know, and how the hell are you supposed to get us to give you our every earthly possesion when you can't keep us at the page for 10 minutes?
I DO UPDATE THEM DAILY!   I have a cult following?  Does that mean they burn things??? Where are the pictures!  I would post them and everything... ha ha ha....   and you are supposed to give me everything because I said so... not because the site suggested it...

One of my bros freinds is always calling me hunny,sweetie,baby..ect and he is always offering me to sit on his lap or give him a hug and i think he is mad at me know so next time he offers me to sit on his lap should i just say yes to make him feel good?
No, charge him more money.  Why should anyone sit on someone's lap and be sexually harassed if they don't get money out of it???  Don't give it away free... and for those gender sensitive people... that goes for girls and guys... so keep your panties on.

I have that song, Gloomy Sunday.  It's sad, but not that sad.  But I guess if you're feeling really, really sad you would kill yourself after listening to that song. 
Because it is so bad?  I have heard songs like that... you know... any song by Michael Bolton... makes you horrified that you are even on the same planet as this freak.  People who kill themselves over songs get what they deserve if they do it right.

this is seth... a bit confused here, since i only put my real name on one album review, so that leads me to believe that the person that is asking if they have a chance knows me personally; yet anyone who knows me knows my girlfriend (who i'm quite happy with), which leaves me wondering. anyway, to the person asking me: no, you have no chance at all. i'm flattered, but who exactly are you? not to be a bastard or anything, just curious. do you know me?
Sounds like quite a caper!  It seems that someone is stalking you and messing with your little mind.  Time to start thinking about every person you know and figuring out who harbors a secret yearning for you, or the person who is plotting your eventual demise.  And since we know the person doing this will read this... just think how they are feeling when they read this and know that you'll be figuring out who they are.  You'll have to share who is doing this... :)

this sucks... i had to give a "y2k goodbye" today to my love. you know, because we knew that the next time we saw each other would be after new years and posssibly y2k, so we didn't know if the power was going to go out and we wouldn't be able to see each other. that sucks.
Well there is some of that optimist attitude that I love in you people!  You make me so proud!  Assuming that the world will end and saying it sucks.  Excellent!  And yes... that SUCKS

Do you ever wonder what would happen if a sock monkey and a Person had a kid?
I don't know if a sock monkey would ever become desperate enough to mate with a human.  Imagine if it mated with a male human... the fluff would pop out of his head.  If a sock monkey mated with a female human, it would end up with a stinky gooey tail.  As for having kids, that's just being silly.  Plain silly.

Do you ever try to guess who asks each question? Or perhaps maybe you couldn't give a shit.
Sometimes I do... but not all.  Sometimes I notice that some questions are alike, and I wonder if it's the same person.  If you want me to know who it is... put your name on the end!

What does DC stand for?
Demon Child

OK!!! IF I GIVE YOU A FREAKIN INCUBUS CD CAN WE HAVE SEX ALREADY?
I don't want an incubus cd.  You give me gift certificates for cds and then we'll talk.

How do you spell diahrea?
diarrhea

Why do kosher dill pickles taste better than regular dills? Are the non-kosher pickles posessed, giving off a sublime sour taste? The power of christ compells you! The power of christ compells you!
Uh... the pickle part was cool but frankly the second part was completely uncalled for.  Well done!  What a mix!

This is not a question...i do not wish to get a good question award unless it pleases you so im not sucking up or anything. But i recently Mistakenly Highlighted at the top of your page...and there they were, your keywords for search engines, i read them and noticed the word "sex". isnt it amazing how putting the exact opposite of whats on your page for keewords will do for site traffic? i mean its great if your competettive or you depend on the web site to make a living....But i think the insane domainis something that should be shared only with those who are truly and honestly searching for the most insane and twisted things in life....who spent hours on search engines to find it and reurn to it daily like the folks we see here. It shoudl only be for those who have worked for it. A reward. not for some crazed perverted lunatic looking for nude pictures of your girlfriends mother to jerk off at. Its too good a thing to be wasted on thsi pathetic worlds scum instead of its mental patients.
I had forgotten there were words there... San put them in awhile ago... lets see what they are.... insane (we have that), sarcasism (plenty here), hate (yep..), free (MP3s, icons, backgrounds), insanity (covered), crazy (yep), music (in downloads), mp3 (downloads), pictures (all over),  insanity (repeat... should be removed), weird (yep), strange (indeed), sex (no idea why it's here), odd (true), crazy (another repeat), stupid (at times), rant (our reviews), reviews (our rants), ranting (the act of the rant), download (stuff), free downloads (kinda repetative), MP3s (another repeat), pictures (another repeat), music (another repeat... what the hell sanimal??), horoscopes (horrorscopes), astrology (the horrorscopes), ICQ (we have it), online shopping (coming soon... but tshirt is available), art (now in leftovers), online (uh... well we are), creepy (some of it), religion (used to be.. now in leftovers), fright (uh... no idea), crap (getting there), garbage (some of it), dumb (some of it...).    Yes, I will update these keywords!

have you ever seen the movie "in the mouth of madness?" it's fucking cool.
No I haven't... who was in it... 

i warn you DC, if you set up a chat room, stupid people may infest it like any other chat room...
I know... we are working on that.  We have a chat room, but are looking to protect ourselves from idiots.

are you at all racist?
Only towards stupid people.   Seriously, no.  Why limit myself to something as trivial as color or beliefs when I can hate everyone equally?

we of the sockmonkey nations would like to elect you as official diplomat to the cats. you will have complete legal immunity in all you do. do you accept?
Sure, and I'd like my own car too.

have you ever heard billie holidays "gloomy sunday?" it's really sad. people in the 40's used to play it before they committed suicide.
Well, that rocks!  I'd like a copy of that!!!

please update the friends. we would greatly appreciate it.
Well, we are going to do that in the new year... so you'll have to wait a few more days or a week... 

i heard something fucked up; something like rob zombie is obsessed with the "electric head." is this at all true?
No idea... you'd have to ask him.  I liked those songs though...

what exactly is psychoholic slag?
No idea... but I sure don't want it up my ass

dammit, i'm sick, and my girlfriend is coming over tomorrow. how might i suddenly, miraculously get better overnight?
Uh... LSD??  Phone her and tell her... maybe she'll make soup or something.  You can get pampered if you are sick right.

HEY YOU! when are you gonna get that chat room set up?
Very soon!!!  We're working on it... but we're playing with the security etc.  We're going to set up times that I'll be online to chat with everyone.

not a question... but more of a retort. to the Smurf guy. IT'S A CULT! DUH!
Good call!

What is your sock monkey's name?
Furballious Monkieaus Wilcamuas.  We just call him Monkey for short.

Maybe when Papa smurf is talking about his buisiness he means getting wild....
Could be... ewww... I wonder if his dick is a light or dark blue...?

this is a question for one of your readers and question askers, i hope you dont mind.  Seth, if you didnt have a gf would i have any kind of chance with you?
If I were Seth, I'd want just a tad bit more info... 

out of all of the questions you have been asked which one do you like the best?
Hmmmm... depends on the day and my twisted mood.   I can't answer that one!  Oh how about this... I'll make it this one :)

why do people think that it is a bad thing to be a virgin?
Because they are jealous of anyone who didn't loose it in the back of a rusted car to some drunk loser who ended up to be their uncle/aunt.

why does my dog run around in circles chasing his tail?
It's something that dogs do.  Men go around chasing their dick, so maybe it's just a thing that all animals with protrusions do.

does bill clinton have the makings of a dictator?
No idea... I try not to think about people like him.  Pushes me to the brink of suicide... or murder.

ok ok... i buy you a box of chocolates, then you can have all the free emotionless sex you want. work?
I don't like chocolate.  How about lots of CDs?  I love CDs...

If I cant be a member, can we still be friends... err, i mean how can i become a friend? (I mean a way that doesnt involve heavy drinking, and beastiality...)
You email us for the questions, we reply, you answer, you send back, we keep until after the new year when we update them.

why is sex so good?
Because your partner is doing something right... but make sure that you are too...

I asked you that a guy I trusted let me down, but I'm not a guy, I'm a girl.
So???? If you sleep with his sister, he'll feel all weird and upset cuz you are with his sister.  He'll feel used.  If you slept with his brother, well that would piss him off too.  You can still sleep with his mother, and that will just really freak him out.  You could then be his second mother.   Sorry I thought you were a guy... I had a 50% chance of being right... once again... I lose.  

i honestly think theres a big conspiracy going on behind the scenes with SMURFS. I mean its crazy, papa smurf spends al his time caring for his hundreds of "little smurfs" but, how did they all get there? i mean when hes so busy working and taking care of the kids how can he possibly love his wife enough to produce 2 or 3 kids a day? Which raises another question, mama smurf is the ONLY women there! theres no way she could give birth to that many kids, i mean there must be a whole lotta lovin goin on in those little mushrooms of theirs. And if she did spend her entire day getteing laid (whcih is imposseble due to papa smurfs busyness.) How couls she POSSIBLY still have time ot bake all those god damned muffins!? its driving me nuts. Please help me.
He has a harem.  They don't show that on TV because they are always naked with Pappa Cum dripping out of them.  I'm kinda glad they never showed that... but somewhere you know there is a tape of it.

It's like Papa Smurf was leading the smurfs like he always does through the forest and crap and all the smurfs were behind Papa and they were going "How much further, Papa Smurf" because Smurfs are an impatient lot and Papa was going "Not far now, my little Smurfs" but they kept asking "How much further Papa Smurf?" "Not far NOW, my little smurfs", he kept answering but they kept going and going and didn't seem to get anywhere (this was really due to short smurf legs) so they kept asking "How much further Papa Smurf?" and Papa kept going "NOT FAR NOW MY LITTLE SMURFS" until he got fed up with those damn smurfs and he led them all to the M&M's factory and SOLD them all for a lot of money and they all jumped into the M&M vat because Papa told them to and after all he was Papa Smurf and now he's rich and living in Beverly Hills. But  what does he eat for dessert?
He eats cake and ice cream.  If I were him, I would have smacked them and said "That's it!  We're going home!"  and then lead them into a pond to drown.

why is it that when you answer a question you automatically assume it's a guy asking?
The question is, why do you assume that I am?  Perhaps it can be taken both ways, and that you are the one assigning gender.  Damn... do something once and people have a fit... 

Why do peple hafta complicate words. For instance: automobile... ITS A FRIGGIN CAR... just leave it!!! Cow, Calf, Bull: JUST LEAVE IT!!! Female cow, male cow, small cow!!! People, humans, human beings, terrans: PEOPLE!!! JUST LEAVE IT AT STUPID PEOPLE!!! If I need a friggin thesaurus, I''ll by one!! Agrree?
Good point.  It's all because humans, sorry.. People are morons.  They like to nit pick.  Its like when you are asked to do work at a job... "Have you finished that thing?"... "Define thing...." and two hours later you might have to work.

How comee whenever someone cvomes over my hjouse, my roomate tells me to stop walking around in my underwear (no, they are not dirty). Its not like im naked.... and its not like i have many gay friends... and its not like im gay... and its not like i like getting shot in the like head cuz like it like hurts....like?
Like... fer sure!  Maybe you should get new underwear... like bright red with your roommates picture on it?  I'm sure that your roommate would love it!  And maybe the reason your roommate says to stop walking around in your underwear, it's a hint for you to take the underwear off.  Try it!

will you have sex with me? no dating, no gifts, no emotion... just sex... AND IT'S FREE!
You're not even going to pay me??? How rude!  Although the no dating or emotion sounds good with the sex, but no gifts or money?  Where is my motivation!???!

DC, are you sick again?  If so, I hope you feel better soon.  :)
No, the damn proxy was offline.  But thank you anyways :)

i know this question is kinda vague, but wht te fuck is wrong with rednecks?
I can't say I've ever met one, so I personally don't know.

My sister is a model.Is that a good enough reason to hate her?
Completely. I hate her too.  Unless she'll do stuff to me for free.

and actually the nonalchoholic beer question wasnt from jp... sorry to dissapoint you.
Well it's sad... but that's ok.

what should i do if i went to a rave, telling my parents i was staying at a friends house, then using a fake ID to get in and rolling off my ass all night (for those of you who dont' know rolling is taking ecstacy) then get pulled over on the way home but are let go because there was this really bad accident where people died and the cop knew that we were just trying to get home safe and everything seems to be working out perfect, but by the one chance in hell on of the people who i took's parents found out and now were all grounded for my next three lifetimes. this is PURELY rhetorical of course... luv Nikon
What should you do? You're grounded.  Keep your sorry ass at home until it blows over, they'll be watching you like a hawk.  Also, beat your friend who got you in shit.

so now that i'm grounded and have all this time on my hands what should i do with it?
Take up knitting.  Ha hahahaha....try cooking... and always make big messes and let the place stink with burnt smell.  They'll kick you out.

hey DC.....do u prefer bath or showers?
Showers.  Who the hell sits in a pool of dirty water to get clean???

do you ever get the creepy feeling of being watched??  A while ago i saw some sick guy looking into my window...  What is wrong with the people today!?!?!
People SUCK.  They have nothing left to do with their pathetic lives.

what are some tell tale signs that you or someone you know is insane? and don't give me some bullshit answer like "you just know".
Well if you are going insane... you wouldn't know it.  You just go insane.  If someone else is going insane... there are many signs.  But then, are they going insane or are you seeing them and thinking that they're insane when in fact you are the one who is insane but you don't know it??

Do the insane have inhibitions?
Yes, we just have to search a lot harder to find them

do i give off a creepy oompa loompa vibe?
Not really, but I haven't heard you sing.

How can you not know about the 8 to 10 second rule? EVERY guy knows about that rule...
Well that's funny... cuz I went and asked a few guys as well and they never heard of either... then I asked a few chicks... and they didn't know.  So I'm taking it that only you last 8 to 10 seconds and it's a rule for you.

i really found all that seth stuff fun to read. i think you should keep posting it. but thats just my opinion. i mean its not like you will actually do what i say.
That's right.  Because the crap with Seth went on long enough.  If you love him so much... email him.

so your allergic to latex, and there fore can't have sex without the nonlatex condoms which are hard to find, and your allergic to alchohol, which means you'll never again enjoy the pleasures of inebriation, why the hell do you keep on living?
Thats what i wonder every morning when i drag my ass outta bed to go to work.  This website is a good reason...

Is 42 the aswer to everything?
Yes, it is the answer to life, the universe and everything.

will you build me a web page? i like really dont want to...
If you pay me yes.  

Nice try GrimmKaos... but the whole thing was gibberish.

hey dc are u getting sick of stupid questions??
Not really.  I just respond with short answers.

so if your allergic to latex does that mean when you put on a condom that your penis swells up like a watermellon?
Uh.... no... it means that my skin burns.

so does the 8 to 10 second rule apply to you?
what the hell is the 8 to 10 second rule??

Why is nonalcoholic beer produced if NOONE has or ever will drink it?
Gee I wonder if this is from JP... yes people do drink it.. how about those who quit drinking but still want the taste of beer for some strange reason???

If U could choose not to be allergic to anyone thing, what would it be????  jp
I'm going to kill you JP... :)  I think you damn well what it is... you're just trying to rub it in my face!!!!  JP knows that I recently found out that I can no longer drink alcohol due to my being allergic to it.  Yes, that fucking sucks... but what can I do?

Is kellykins the 8th question on the ask DC page?????  Am I the druggie????--jp
Ha ha ha... nope!!! Unless she sent it in without letting me know it was her!

how big is u'r COCK????--Bobo
Boy, the intelligence of these questions keep getting lower and lower...

hey DC......i have no crush on seth.....ive heard about that...and me and seth talked about it....it wasnt me saying that crap...the only reason y i was mad at him was because he told u a bunch of bullshit thats not true....bye
Sure sure... your heart burns for him... enough already.

Nustard or Mayonaise on your burger?
Neither!  On my burgers I like cheese, ketchup and pickles.

so now that it's finalized and we ARE gonna have sex, your place or mine? i've got shag carpet!!
Is it orange??? That one is the best.  Your place... my place is dirty enough without that...

DC, have you ever had to wear a condom catheter?
Condoms are evil.  Also, I'm allergic to latex.

"It's wrong to be French!"  that's what my friends say, is this true?
Yes... but only if from Quebec due to their bastardized french.  France is ok.

DC do u love me?
If you are cold hard cash.. then yes.

DC , paper or plastic?  which would u prefer to be over your head?
Plastic... brings me to my death quicker.

DC how many children do u think we should have?
NONE... children are SICK.  I don't want ANY ever.

hey i have this crazy dope head that has been calling me just about every night.  he thinks we are going out now.  i tell him no.  he wants to come and see me and force drugs into my body.  what would u do if u were in my situation?
Define dope first of all... and drugs.  Well either way, you don't like it, smash their head in or call the cops.  Maybe you should force a few boots up his ass...

about how many words can you make by puching iin numbers on a calculator and turning it upside down?
Since I have a life, I do not know.  I also don't use a regular calculator... but the one in my computer.

I notice that the popularity of ask DC ?'s seems to really be bothersome to you. im guessing you dont like updating so much. you could always just put a small restriction to the number of questions submitted so that a FEW Quality questions are submitted, so that you dont mind reading them. not some bullcrap that took someone 3 seconds to think of.just a thought.--Acid
It's not bothersome at all :) I enjoy it.  However, people must realize that I am indeed trying to update it when I can in between my full time job and my part time job.  All I ask is that people think about that when they bitch that the questions aren't updated every 5 minutes.  Like I said... pay me to do this full time and I'll update it every time a question comes in.  I don't want to restrict the questions... I already delete gibberish and now the Seth stuff.  If it's a real question... I'll answer.

Have you guys ever considered, creating your own free home page service? complete with easy uploading and capabilities to put anything anywhere you want on the screen? i asked if you knew of any a lng itme ago. the answer was negative. so it just dawned on me. why not MAKE one?--Acid
We have thought about it... but don't have the resources to do that yet.  All of us work full time and it's hard to get together to plan the whole thing and then actually set it up.  We'd love to do it... but we don't have time.  I'd do it alone, but I'd have to quit my job...

What makes people think that they are so perfect that they can criticize anyone who is different than them?--Acid
Because they know they are not perfect and so they rip down everyone else until they feel better that they are better then you.

My hair is red and purple. what do you say to that?--Acid
Why not blue??? Red and purple are quite common... but blue is rare.  

Why the hell do parents take their kids and put them in fron of the tv like some osrt of babysitter? And then blame the childs misbehavir on the tv like it was the tv's fault instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. why?
Because PEOPLE SUCK.  Humans are stupid by nature and don't want to admit when they are being lazy or wrong.  Somebody Else's Problem.

Oh, yeah, to that alien question. If aliens are as smart as people say, that means god gave up on us (we are a failed experiment) and moved on to aliens... who says that aliens are evil?
Aliens... who says that we aren't from aliens??? And who is actually niave enough to think that we are alone out there??? What a waste that would be... 

Eternal bliss wouldnt get boring, becuase if it was boredom it wouldnt be blissful... so i enjoy gfighting, then they would have a boxing ring, or a street fighting area or something. There would always be something interesting if it is truly heaven... right?
If such a place exists... then whatever makes you happy.

to that joe d. foster grant in "what sucks to you"- chiropractors ARE real doctors, nimrod.
True... 

can the spirits of your dead relatives watch over you when you're going to the bathroom?
Yes.  They want to make sure that you wipe properly.

if you were a masochis in life, wouldn't it be a reward to be sent to hell and punishment to be sent to heaven?
Now that I'm not sure of... if they believe in heaven and hell then it might pose a problem.  If they don't... 

if you told a really good joke, would it make god laugh?
If there is a god... maybe... it'd have to be one it hasn't heard.

wouldn't eternal bliss get a bit boring after awhile?
I would think so... what fun would it be?

do dinosaurs have souls?
You mean... DID they have souls... well I don't know.  I am going to say yes.  I don't want a dinosaur ghost haunting me if I was wrong

if there's life on other planets, then are there alians in heaven too?
In order to answer these questions about heaven properly, I would have to believe in it.  However, I do not.  I do not know what happens after we die, but I sure hope it isn't spent with a bunch of eternally blissful people who do nothing wrong.  That would be dull!  And heaven is a human concept... who knows what the aliens believe!

is it okay to laugh at people in hell when you're up in heaven?
And throw things if you can.

in the afterlife, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in/died in for eternity?
I sense a huge theme about the afterlife sneaking up...  and yes you do.  So don't die in the bathroom with your pants around your ankles.

isn't the4 ultimate answer to any question, no matter how profound, thoughtful, or cosmic, merely "who cares?"
Not always... the person asking will say that they care.  The answer would be "I don't care" or "42" if they really need one.

when the three little pigs kept saying "not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin," waht the hell were they talking about?
Next time you are near a pig... take a good hard look at it's skin.  It is covered with little hairs.  And... you guessed it... there is hair on their chin.  Why that expression was used is beyond me however... it sounds really dumb.

wouldn't the world be a happier place if everyone would just strut around nude?
Uh... take a look at one of your older relatives and answer your own question.  Also, think of shrinkage and those who live in areas that have winter.

if god can do anything, could he eat so much secret sauce he'd make himself sick?
Well, the whole god issue again... but the sauce isn't secret... at Burger King it's a salad dressing (i don't remember the name... but it's that sick one), at SubWay it's Italian salad dressing... and with access to the internet, there is no secret sauce that is kept secret.  But if you do believe in god etc... then yes, it can.

does god like food?
I'm getting annoyed... NO.

is there food in heaven?
No.  You don't need food there.

seth here, and i've got about a dozen friends who go here, so i'll just kill all of them.
Good call... what about that robin though???  Kill her first... ha ha

about the song gloomy sunday: yeah, it's not the saddest song in the world(that would be "something i an never have", by nine inch nails) but it was probably the saddest song around in the 40's, when it came out.
Well that was a sad time... no insane domain!  I'd kill myself too

is the univers a fleeting daydream of a magic super-beetle in some paralell world?
Yes.  Now you have the answer!  Sure you're wrong because the sock monkeys are running the show... but good for you!

what if god doesn't actually dig my youthful high jinks?
I don't think anyone does... so basically... it's whoever kills you first.

is there yodeling in hell?
Listening to yodeling IS hell, even if you're alive.

what if we think the jokes on them, but the jokes really on us?
Then we are more screwed then we thought....and who laughs last then???

how can we know for sure we're not dreaming all this, an that actually we're just a brain in some mad scientist's laboratory?
We can't.  Grapple with that...

is any of this information pertinent to real life?
Some of it... but mostly no. 

do amoebas feel love?
Not in the way that we know it.  For them it is very brief.

how do we know the sky isn't really green and we're all just colorblind?
We don't!  But we're the ones who have defined what green and blue are... 

I tried to start a small riot on my street at the stoke of midnight, but noone was getting into it. for future reference how can i get people motivated enough to pilage and loot their next door neighbors?
Make up some horrible lies about something... it has to involve anti-government ideals.  You could always convince them that the world is ending, but you'll need blow torches.

what did you do for new years?
Was at home.. had some friends over and hung out in the chat room.

what is your fav. hangover solution? i like to eat alot of bread to soak up the beer, but that doesnt healp with the head ache... got any suggestions? and suggesting drinking it off doesnt help. sincerely yours, Nikon.
Hmmm... well a pain reliever of some sort helps... but lots of water before you go to sleep, and lots when you wake up too... that helps...

Where the hell did you Y2K thing go? when are we gonna get to see what others had to say?
I took it off after Y2K silly... and I'm going to add it shortly. Boy... you people are sooooo demanding!  I do this when I can in between my jobs... if someone wants me to do this full time... I would be more then happy to if I was paid!!!!!  Any offers??? 

If i were to want to have sex with you, would it matter what sex i was? granted i'm female.. and you somewhat know me... in that almost not at all sort of way, but if i was male would it make a difference? do the insane really have limitations? if so wouldn't that be a contradiction to the word insane?
No it wouldn't matter... it would just help me to figure out what to bring.  There are no limits to being insane... as long as you're not sane... but who is to say really???

hey, dc!!!!!!!! it is bambie. happy new year! i got drunk on champagne, and strawberry daqueris. how was yours? only nine months left 'till the wedding! sorry i haven't  gotten back to you in a while. u know how it iz. and to everybody else, leave the damn smurfs alone!!!!!!!! they aren't here to piss us off. why do it to them????? c-ya!
Mine was ok... Smurfs main focus is to piss us off... why else would they be that annoying shade of blue?  

How will be know that you are the one chatting and not someone else pretending to be you?
Because only I can change the side window and update the domain... and therefore if i have to prove it... i can.

u can take the guy out of the elvies but u cant take the evlise  out of the guy guy ........how dose the work
I don't want to know... i think we should just leave elvis dead and buried... 

Do you know French?
I only know sale pute.

wait a sec...seth whats your last name? i mean im wondering if your the right seth because the seth i know would know who it is.
Sure sure.. ha ha ha.... trying to cover it all up... ha ha