Car Garbage.
By JCP

The rear view mirror is to be used to see what is going on behind you while driving.
The other day, while on my way to work, a woman pulled up in front of me and I couldn't help but notice all the garbage she had in her car. Hanging from her rear view mirror was a huge stuffed animal, some necklaces and a shiny key chain. Along the back of her rear window, she had those stupid nodding head dogs and more stuffed toys. All over her bumper were stupid bumper stickers in various colors.

This got me to thinking. Not only are there laws about blocking the drivers view while in a vehicle, but this amount of shit has no purpose being in a car for everyone to see. It's distracting to the driver and those around them.

Most times, the crap they have is hanging down so low it actually hits the driver/passenger when going around corners. As they drive, they're peering around their bullshit to see if they can turn, and getting hit with it when they need to suddenly come to a stop.

The next day I decided that I would make a list of all the crap I saw in people's cars. To be honest, people had a lot less shit in their cars than I expected. Then again, maybe it was the time of day, as I began this in the morning, when most people were heading to work or school. Perhaps in the evening, when there are more teenagers driving around, there is more garbage in the cars.

Things people had in their cars:
- 6 toys (3 on the mirror, 3 along the back) and 3 bumper stickers
- Canada flags and stickers on a few cars (the flags you put in the window)
- Flowers twisted around the rearview mirror
- Fresheners were the most common, at least 5 cars had them.
- Unicorns along the back screen and one hanging from the mirror
- Student/Parking IDs on several.
- At least four cars had necklaces hanging from the rearview mirror.

For those that aren't sure what is classified as Car Garbage, then perhaps this will help:

CD's and disco balls.
The worst I've seen are those who have the stroke of genius to put a cd up on their rearview mirror. Not only does it block a chunk of the driver's view, but it also reflects the light into the eyes of passing drivers, blinding them. If you aren't stupid enough to put up a CD, there is always the increasingly popular mini-disco ball.
Nodding head animals
Get over them, they're stupid. No one is amused by these nodding idiot things and if you have one, get it the hell out of your car. The worst are the people who have 6 or more of these things nodding away in their back window. Anyone who still finds these pieces of shit amusing should go sterilize themselves, and any children they already have. Take the pieces of shit out of your car and put them where they belong, at the bottom of a garbage can.
Too many stickers
Those who try to hide the rust on their car with what they consider to be "clever" bumper stickers aren't fooling anyone. There is NO bumper sticker on the planet that is funny after the fourth time you read it.
Jesus fish
Why don't I see other people pasting their religious symbols on their cars? They're not bible thumping christians, that's why. It seems to me but 9 times out of 10 when you're off by someone or when someone is driving BADLY, they've got one of those damned fish.
Darwin fish
Ok so they're funny because they're poking fun at the Jesus fish, but really, most of the time they look like the Jesus fish from afar, so really, what's the point? Most people aren't really paying that much attention.
Stuffed animals
So you love cats/dogs/whatever. A simple, SMALL stuffed animal and we can overlook that. As soon as you start filling your car with them, THEN there is a problem. The worst are those that love cows/Dalmatians and have seat covers, blankets, wheel covers, and everything else with that damn spotted design on it. Leave that shit at home or in your office. Your car is for DRIVING SAFELY, not lugging around your stuffed animal collection like you're a 2 year old. If I were to go on a drunken rampage and I saw a car with all this crap in it, those stupid stuffed animals are enough to provoke me into picking that car to damage.

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